Language Tips for Women to Avoid Being Misunderstood at Work

A lot of Black women have been taught to lead with an apology in professional spaces. To seem less “intimidating.” To be more “palatable.” But let’s be clear: you don’t have to dim your light just to make others feel comfortable. Being direct isn’t rude. Being confident isn’t aggressive. You’re not doing too much, you’re doing what’s necessary. Let’s change the language: ❌ “I’m sorry, I know you’re busy but…” ✅ “When you get a moment, I’d like to discuss [topic].” ❌ “I hate to be a pain, but…” ✅ “Circling back to make sure this stays on track.” ❌ “Just wondering if you had any thoughts on…” ✅ “Do you have feedback on [specific item]?” ❌ “I hope this makes sense…” ✅ “Let me know if you need anything clarified.” ❌ “I don’t mean to overstep, but…” ✅ “Here’s a suggestion I believe could add value.” You’re allowed to speak up without softening every sentence. You deserve to take up space without over-explaining why you’re in the room.

How to speak up without getting shut down I watched a smart woman get shut down in 12 words. What I wish I'd told her afterward. Sarah raised a big compliance issue in our client meeting. The response? "You're being too negative again." Three days later, her male coworker said the exact same thing. The CEO's reaction? "Great catch, Tom. This is exactly what we need." Same words. Different gender. Totally different outcome. The data backs this up: → Women get interrupted 33% more often → 50% of women leaders get called "intimidating" → Only 26% feel their input really matters Yet companies with women in leadership do 25% better financially. The secret isn't talking less. It's talking differently. How to speak up without getting shut down: 1) Instead of: "That approach has serious flaws" → Try: "Building on that, let's also consider..." 2) Instead of: "I'm worried about this decision" → Try: "Our data shows 31% higher risk with..." 3) Instead of: "Customers won't like this" → Try: "To boost retention, let's test..." 4) Instead of: "I disagree with this plan" → Try: "What if we made this stronger by..." 5) Instead of: "This won't work" → Try: "Based on our last audit, this approach..." 6) Instead of: "You're missing something big" → Try: "To make sure we cover everything..." 7) Instead of: "I think you're wrong" → Try: "Have we thought about how this affects..." 8) Instead of: "That's a bad idea" → Try: "To avoid regulatory issues..." 9) Instead of: "That's not how we do things" → Try: "Let's see how this fits our process..." This isn't about making your voice smaller. It's about making sure people actually listen. I've seen women go from being ignored to becoming the person everyone asks for advice. The difference? They learned to speak in a way that gets heard. But here's the thing: If you try these approaches and you're still getting shut down, that's not about your communication style. That's valuable information about your company's culture. And maybe it's time to find a place that actually wants to hear what you have to say. Your ideas are too important to be dismissed. What phrase will you try in your next meeting? _______________________________ ♻ Repost to share with a woman who should be heard. 👉Follow Stephanie Eidelman (Meisel) for more ideas about how to get noticed and make an impact. 📫 Subscribe to my free newsletter, The Career Edit to get strategies tailored by career stage to accelerate growth. (https://hubs.la/Q03dY9_n0)

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

It’s time to stop saying, “I’m sorry” in the workplace. Growing up, I was taught that being a woman meant being agreeable and not ruffling feathers. Research shows that confident and assertive women are often punished in workplaces. This is why more women tend to say “I’m sorry” compared to men by default. But it's disempowering... and unfair. Recently, I had an amazing woman leader I coach who came to me asking for advice. She told me that one of her superiors shared some negative feedback with her, which she was surprised by. I asked her whether she felt the feedback was justified. She said no. But the next thing she said was: “But I felt really bad about it and immediately said ‘I’m sorry’ to him.” So I asked her how she felt after saying that, and without hesitation, she said it was “disempowering.” More importantly, when I heard the full story, the negative feedback wasn't justified. So, by saying sorry, she admitted fault when there was none. Instead, I suggested she try a different approach next time. She could say: “Thank you for sharing your feedback. I appreciate your insights and would like to understand more about the specific instances you mentioned. Could you share a few examples? This will help me understand better where I need to improve.” This opens up a true dialogue and transforms the situation from disempowering to empowering. Granted, I'm not saying you should never apologize. But let’s be careful only to say it when we truly mean it. Here are a few situations where replacing an apology with a more direct approach can be beneficial: When disagreeing: ❌ Instead of: “Sorry, but I’m not sure if this will work…” ✅ Say: “That’s an interesting view. I have a different take I’d like to share.” When making an ask: ❌Instead of: “Sorry for taking up your time, but could I ask a question?” ✅Say: “Could I ask a question?” When communicating your boundaries: ❌Instead of: “Sorry, I can’t work late tonight because I have a family member in town.” ✅ Say: “I can’t work late tonight, but I’m happy to help tomorrow morning.” Let’s empower ourselves by communicating confidently. How do you handle situations where you feel the urge to apologize unnecessarily? How can i support you to become the most impactful and confident YOU? My DM is open! #leadership #productmarketing #growth #coaching

Stop saying "sorry" at work. It’s not polite. It’s not professional. It’s holding you back. Most of us, especially women and new professionals, were taught to soften our presence. We say sorry when we reschedule. When we ask questions. When we make a normal mistake. Saying “sorry” too much makes you look unsure-even when you're doing nothing wrong. So I made a change. Here are 9 things I stopped saying and what I say now instead: ❌ 𝟭. “𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴.” ✅ “Thanks for being flexible!” Why? You're not late-you’re human. And flexibility is a team skill, not a failure. ❌ 𝟮. “𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂.” ✅ “Thanks for carving out time.” 𝐖𝐡𝐲?You’re not a bother. You’re collaborating. Respect their time, but don’t downplay your own. ❌ 𝟯. “𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴.” ✅ “Thanks for listening.” 𝐖𝐡𝐲? Sharing feelings at work isn’t weak. It’s healthy. And listening builds stronger teams. ❌ 𝟰. “𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲.” ✅ “Thanks for waiting!” 𝐖𝐡𝐲? Life happens — traffic, tech issues, toddler meltdowns. Gratitude > guilt. ❌ 𝟱. “𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹.” ✅ “Thanks for your patience!” 𝐖𝐡𝐲? Emergencies happen. Acknowledging others' patience keeps things respectful without apologizing for life. ❌ 𝟲. “𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗷𝘂𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻.” ✅ “I have an idea that may help.” 𝐖𝐡𝐲? Your voice matters. If the room values only silence, maybe it's the wrong room. ❌ 𝟳. “𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲.” ✅ “Thanks for catching that!” 𝐖𝐡𝐲? Mistakes mean you’re trying. Taking accountability without shame is confidence in action. ❌ 𝟴. “𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆, 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗶𝘁.” ✅ “Could you repeat that? I want to be clear.” 𝐖𝐡𝐲? Asking questions shows you care. Not that you’re slow. Say it with clarity. ❌ 𝟵. “𝗦𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆, 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲?” ✅ “I’m happy to answer any questions.” 𝐖𝐡𝐲? Confidence in your ideas invites discussion. Not doubt. Let me be clear: I’m not saying never say sorry. I’m saying, use it when it truly fits. Not as your default setting. Because every time you shrink, the world believes it’s okay to overlook you. So next time you're tempted to apologize for existing-don’t. Replace “sorry” with strength. Who’s with me? ♻️Repost to help someone in your network. Follow me Michael Thompson for more.

One of the biggest mistakes women make at work is how we speak. We go through school writing papers and exams but do very little to learn how to speak in meetings or give powerful presentations. Executive presence and presenting to others does take a specific skill set, but it's never too late to learn and not as hard as it may feel to you today. Early in my career I started a practice of choosing who I wanted to "sound like" when I spoke outloud. I listened carefully to their intonation and the words they chose. I also had mentors who taught me how present with gravitas and confidence. If I could waive a magic wand and delete the most common patterns of female speech in the workplace, the landscape of female leadership would look very different today. These are the basics you can learn: 1. Don’t raise your voice at the end of the sentence. It sounds like you are asking for a question or approval vs. making a statement 2. Start to say “ I recommend…” when you have a comment in a meeting vs. “I know this may be a dumb idea but….” 3. Get rid of all filler words in your sentences... “I just wanted to say” to “I want to say…” 4. We all say “um” when we are nervous. Next time pause, take a beat, embrace the nano second of silence it takes to find your next word without saying “um”. It may feel like an eternity of silence but i promise no one will ever notice. 5. Slow down your speech. I am notorious for speaking too fast, especially when I am nervous. 6. Take a video of yourself practicing your next conversation with your boss and watch it back. Practice in the mirror. Practice with a friend. Video yourself and watch it back. Let me know in the chat other tips and tricks you use to speak with gravitas.