Why trust erodes without active listening

Hear More, Speak Less We think of courage as boldness, as speaking up, as saying the hard thing. But courage is often quieter… It’s the discipline to listen longer than feels comfortable. To hold space when everything inside you itches to interrupt, defend, or correct. Have you ever listened half-heartedly not to understand, but to reload your next point? Or nodded politely while quietly dismissing what was being said? Or rushed a colleague, partner, or child just to get back to your own thoughts? These moments are everywhere and they shape trust more than we admit. Harm is not always loud. It often arrives softly: In lazy interpretation. Careless phrasing. The rush to advise rather than absorb. We claim to value kindness but we rush others through their words. We listen only until we’ve heard enough to reply. We grant sympathy selectively to those who express themselves well. Hidden wisdom: Listening isn’t the space between speaking. It’s a complete act of service. It’s how we tell people they matter without needing to say so explicitly. The Mega Genius understands: True listening is not passive. It’s an active discipline: To surrender the spotlight, to allow someone else’s truth to exist fully before we impose our own. In my own life I’ve seen this play out: I’ve watched people feel unseen not because anyone spoke harshly but because no one really listened. I’ve learned this the hard way: You can be skilled in speech and still fail in presence. You can speak with polish but listen with impatience. And that gap between presence and polish is where relationships quietly break down. Before we rush to respond, before we rush to advise: Are we truly hearing? Are we listening to understand or listening to control? Next time you’re in conversation, pause for three breaths after they finish speaking. Not to fill the silence but to feel what they just shared. Listening longer is not weakness. It’s not indulgence. It’s courage in its purest form. Because when we listen longer than we want to, we allow what was said to truly land… and we allow the person speaking to truly feel held. The ones who listen best lead best.

It’s not one big mistake that kills trust… It’s your tiny daily habits. Most successful leaders know: relationships rarely fall apart because of one big incident. It’s the small, daily habits in how we speak that quietly erode trust over time. (Join Justin Bateh and me for more about how to recognize the hidden signals that erode trust on Aug 26th: https://lnkd.in/gvwchpk9) Research shows that these seemingly minor behaviors have a huge impact on how others perceive your leadership: 1. The Interrupter ❌ Cutting others off sends the message, “My ideas matter more than yours.” Even well-intentioned interruptions can chip away at psychological safety. 2. The Dismisser ❌ Phrases like “That’s not important right now” or “Let’s move on,” and dismissive body language (eye rolls, checking your phone) make people feel unheard. 3. The Credibility Underminer ❌ Constantly saying “kind of,” “maybe,” or “I think” leaves you sounding uncertain, even when you’re not. 4. The Non-Listener ❌ Not following up or paraphrasing responses shows disinterest. When you pass up a chance to say, “Tell me more,” you miss a moment to build connection. 5. The Inconsistent Gazer ❌ Erratic eye contact creates subtle discomfort. People wonder if you’re hiding something—or not fully present. As a coach to women executives, I often see these patterns affect female leaders more. Many of us were raised to be “nice” rather than direct, which can unintentionally undercut our authority. The upside? Small changes make a big difference: ✅ Stop and focus on what they other person feels is important right now ✅ Instead of interrupting, take a breath and let them finish ✅ Say what you want to say (and skip the qualifiers) ✅ Ask one qualifying question before moving on ✅ Practice keeping eye contact for 3 seconds Trust isn’t built on grand gestures, but on consistent, respectful communication. P.S. What habits have you noticed in your workplace? (I’ve been guilty of being an Interrupter and a Dismisser due to rushing) ♻️ Repost to help others build trust through conversation Follow me, Jill Avey for more leadership insights Research: Academy of Management Review https://lnkd.in/g-wxFvzr

Most leaders listen. Great leaders uncover the unspoken. 93% of communication isn’t in the words people say. If you’re only hearing words,  you’re missing the real message. Great listening isn’t about hearing. It’s about uncovering the pauses, the tone, the hesitations. Most people think they know what they want,  but true needs are often hidden behind words. That’s why great leaders don’t just listen.  They uncover what others are afraid to say. I used to think I was a great listener. Until someone told me, “You only hear what you want to hear.” That stung, but they were right. I wasn’t listening. I was waiting to talk. And it was costing me trust, opportunities, and relationships. When I started paying attention to what wasn’t being said, everything changed. Conversations went deeper, trust grew, and problems I didn’t even know existed started to solve themselves. The LISTEN Framework: L – Look for non-verbal cues. Body language, tone, and pauses. They reveal the real story. I – Interrupt less. Silence is your superpower.  Try asking, “What else is on your mind?” S – Summarize what you heard. “What I’m hearing is...”  Builds trust and clarity. T – Tune out distractions. Eye contact beats multitasking. Put away your phone. E – Empathize actively. Feel their emotions,  Not just their words. N – Notice the unspoken. What’s avoided or left out often holds the truth. Here’s how I’ve seen this play out: 1️⃣ Negotiations: A client hesitated when mentioning their boss. I asked, “What can we do to support internal buy-in?” That one question saved the deal, which we closed the next week. 2️⃣ Meetings: A fidgeting team member revealed a project risk when I asked, “What’s on your mind?” Their insight saved us weeks of rework. 3️⃣ Coaching: A client kept saying, “I just want to do better.” I asked, “What does ‘better’ mean to you?” They opened up about feeling overwhelmed. That conversation gave them focus and renewed confidence. Listening isn’t just a skill. It’s a strategy for trust and impact. The next time you listen, ask: What’s not being said? The answer might surprise you. What truth have you uncovered by listening? ♻️ Repost to inspire better listening. ➕ Follow me for more leadership insights.

A Listening Session Is Only Useful If It Leads to Change I once attended a company-wide “listening session.” The executive team said all the right things, and they meant them: “We want to understand what’s getting in the way.” “No question is off limits.” “We’re here to learn.” But three months later? Nothing had changed, and that silence said more than any promise. Because listening alone isn’t enough. Sometimes being heard is valuable in itself. But sustained engagement comes when people see their voice shape action and doesn’t disappear into a vacuum. When that doesn’t happen, the message received is: It didn’t matter. And that’s when damage sets in: 🧩 Trust erodes 🧩 Engagement drops 🧩 People stop speaking up You’re better off not holding a listening session at all than running one that creates hope with no follow-through. Research backs this up: Gallup found that when leaders follow up after engagement surveys, trust and retention improve significantly. Not because everything was fixed, but because people felt heard and respected. So what does closing the loop actually look like? → Acknowledge what you heard. Don’t leave people guessing. → Be honest about what’s changing and what’s not. → Share the why behind your decisions. Even if the answer is complex, context builds credibility. You don’t need perfect solutions. But you do need to show people that their voice counts. Reflection prompts: → How do you share back what you hear from listening sessions or surveys? → What unintended signals might silence or inaction be sending? → Where have you seen simple follow-up build deeper trust? What’s your take on this? #employeevoice #trustbuilding #feedbackloops #culture #leadershiphabits #cultureinpractice Lily Woi Coaching Limited

24 years ago, I learned a lesson in a billion-dollar CEO’s office that stayed with me. The best leaders I’ve been around weren’t the ones who spoke the loudest or held the most authority. They were the ones who knew how to receive, the ones who could take in the full weight of what someone was saying, even if the words came out messy, heated, or uncomfortable. I watched as an employee came in, voice raised, frustration pouring out in sharp words that felt closer to an attack than feedback. I expected the CEO to shut it down, to demand respect, to set the tone. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, stayed silent, and let the man finish. When the room finally quieted, I asked him why he allowed it. His answer has never left me: “If I react to the delivery, I’ll lose the message. My job is to hear the message.” That perspective reshaped how I see leadership. Too many leaders are quick to defend themselves, quick to react to tone, quick to silence the discomfort. But in doing so, they often lose the truth that could have helped them grow their culture, their strategy, or their people. The real strength of a leader is not in shutting people down, but in creating an environment where the truth can be spoken without fear. And the connection is clear: when truth can be spoken, trust is built. When trust is built, performance follows. So here’s the lesson I carry forward: don’t waste your energy reacting to how feedback arrives. Your responsibility is to listen for the truth inside it, because that truth, not the tone, is what shapes a stronger team. #Leadership #Listening #Trust #OrganizationalCulture #HumanLeadership #PsychologicalSafety #GrowthMindset

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 & 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀  🎧💡 In a world where everyone is eager to speak, few take the time to truly listen. Listening is not about agreeing; it’s about understanding. A while back, during a strategy meeting across one of our business ventures, different teams had conflicting ideas, each convinced their solution was the best. Instead of jumping in with a decision, I chose to listen - really listen. I asked more questions, encouraged every viewpoint, and let the conversation unfold. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁? A breakthrough idea emerged, combining the strengths of all perspectives. Had I spoken first, we might have missed it. When people feel unheard, they become defensive. When they feel understood, they become open to discussion. This is true in leadership, business, and even everyday conversations. 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 ✅ 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝘀 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 & 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 When leaders genuinely listen, employees and colleagues feel valued and respected. This fosters trust and strengthens relationships. ✅ 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗦𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻-𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 Great ideas don’t come from one person alone. By listening to your team, you gain diverse perspectives, leading to better solutions and strategies. ✅ 𝗘𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 & 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝘆 When employees feel heard, they are more willing to share ideas and take initiative, driving innovation in the workplace. ✅ 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗘𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 Listening allows leaders to understand different viewpoints, helping them mediate disputes with empathy and clarity. ✅ 𝗘𝗻𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗲 & 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗱—they want to be heard and understood. A leader who listens creates a culture where employees feel motivated and engaged. This video perfectly illustrates how active listening can change the way we connect with others. Instead of reacting, dismissing, or arguing, we should: ✔️𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻—Not to reply, but to understand. ✔️ 𝗔𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝗻𝘀—Validation doesn’t mean agreement, it means respect. ✔️𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆—When people feel heard, they are more open to dialogue. ✔️𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 – Encourage deeper conversations and better insights by being curious. 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 Speaking less doesn’t mean being silent—it means choosing your words wisely while ensuring every voice is heard. 💬 Have you ever changed someone’s mind simply by listening? #Leadership #ActiveListening #Empathy #TrustBuilding #CommunicationMatters #ActiveListening #BusinessGrowth #TeamSuccess

Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who don’t have anything to say. Let me take you through a story today. Imagine this: Manisha, a leader at a fast-growing company, is known for her subject-matter expertise and decisive style. However, there’s one problem—Manisha rarely listens to her team’s input. She’s so focused on finding solutions that she often brushes off her team’s ideas, assuming she already knows the best answer. At first, her team shared feedback and brought ideas to the table. But gradually, they started holding back. Meetings became quieter, morale slipped, and eventually, Manisha found herself surrounded by people who no longer had much to say. How do the right leaders tackle this? When leaders listen, they build trust and make people feel valued. And those feeling fuels motivation, innovation, and a sense of purpose within the team. A healthy team isn’t just about hitting targets; it’s about building psychological safety where everyone’s voice counts, where even the quietest idea is given room to grow. The result? End of quite quitting, moonlighting, and great resignation! A truly engaged team is one that feels - heard, respected, and empowered. Let’s be leaders who listen—not just for our own growth but for the team’s success as well. My mantra is simple: 80% listening and 20% speaking. Use this and you will start seeing the difference. When was the last time you listened without interrupting or simply opened up space for new ideas? How do you make sure you’re actively listening to your team? #leadership #listening #teamengagement #healthyworkculture

What If I Told You Your Pride Is Silently Sabotaging Your Influence? I learned this the hard way. Last year, I sat in a meeting where someone presented an idea that clashed with everything I believed was the right direction. Instead of listening with intent, I mentally dismissed them before they even finished. Why? Because I was too focused on being right instead of being open. That moment cost us time, team trust, and missed opportunities. Here’s the truth: You can’t grow influence, build leadership trust, or create real connection if your pride is doing the listening for you. Why This Matters: In a world where active listening is now a top leadership skill (Forbes reports it’s linked to 40% higher team engagement), tuning people out—especially when you disagree—isn’t just unwise, it’s unsustainable. People can feel when they’re being dismissed. And leaders who don’t listen, lose followers. Are You Making This Mistake? Ask yourself: • Do I only fully listen when I already agree with the speaker? • Do I interrupt, correct, or internally argue before someone finishes their thought? • Have I stopped being curious? If you said “yes” to even one, keep reading. Next time you feel that internal pushback, try this: 1. Pause. Take a breath before you react. 2. Repeat. Summarize what they said back to them. 3. Reflect. Ask, “What if they’re right about part of this?” Not only will this rewire your listening habits, it’ll earn you real trust and credibility—the kind that builds long-term influence. If you do this consistently for just 7 days, you’ll start seeing better conversations, stronger connections, and more creative outcomes. Guaranteed. If you’re a leader, manager, or someone who wants to grow in influence—whether you’re a CEO or just stepping into your first team lead role—this message is for you. And yes, it’s hard—but it’s worth it. If this hit home for you, drop a “Listening > Pride” in the comments, and let’s talk. Or better yet—tag someone who models active listening well and let them know they’ve made an impact. You don’t have to agree to listen. But you do have to listen if you want to lead. #LeadershipDevelopment #ExecutiveCoaching #ActiveListening