The Importance of Listening Skills

Day 3: Listening to Understand, Not Just to Respond In our journey through "The Lost Art of Being Kind," we arrive at a cornerstone of meaningful connection: the art of listening. Frequently conversations today turn into exchanges of information rather than opportunities to genuinely connect. Yet, listening—truly listening—is a profound act of kindness that can transform relationships and build bridges of understanding. The Power of Active Listening Active listening involves more than just hearing words; it requires us to engage fully, with empathy, presence, and without judgment. It's about focusing on the speaker, absorbing not just the content but the emotions and intentions behind the words. This practice fosters deeper connections and can significantly enhance our relationships, both personally and professionally. When we remove judgement, we minimize our internal bias which is a fancy way of saying, I heard this before, I know what you are going to say, mean or feel, etc. Techniques for Better Listening 1. Be Present: Give the speaker your full attention, setting aside distractions. Listen to what and how things are said. Listen for what is not being said as well. This presence shows respect and openness to their thoughts and feelings. Listen with the concept that there is something to learn, know or gain a deeper understanding of. Listen deeply and with intent. 2. Reflect and Clarify: Paraphrase what you've heard and ask clarifying questions. This ensures understanding and demonstrates that you value their perspective. To ensure someone feels heard, I also ask if there is anything more, or ask if I correctly understood after I have finished my paraphrase summary. For example, What I heard you say is <insert paraphrase here>. Did I miss anything? Is there anything more about XXXXX that you want to share? etc. 3. Empathize: Try to see the world from the speaker's viewpoint, acknowledging their emotions and validating their experiences. Listening as an Act of Kindness As we've explored in previously, empathy and respect are foundational to being humane. Listening actively is a natural extension of these principles. It allows us to connect with others on a deeper level, building relationships founded on trust and mutual respect. With this we can communicate more meaningfully and achieve better and longer lasting results. When people feel heard, they feel respected. It is just that simple. Conclusion: The Art of Listening As you engage with others today, make a conscious effort to listen to understand, not just to respond. Embrace the power of active listening as a tool for kindness and connection. By doing so, you not only enrich your own life but also touch the lives of those around you in meaningful ways. Let's continue to explore the lost art of being kind, one conversation at a time. Together, we can create a ripple effect of understanding and compassion. #BeTheChange

When I launched my podcast, I had to interview smart minds. I was nervous and unprepared. I treated every conversation like ping-pong. I asked, they answered. Back and forth. Hit and miss. No depth, no insight, no connection. This is how most of us communicate. We talk to reply, not to learn. “Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.” - Dean Jackson Your listening and communication skills determine your success in: - Sales - Relationships - Leadership - Life Bottom line: It matters. And we can do better. I’ve improved a lot. It wasn’t easy, but these are 5 frameworks that helped me listen better and transform how I communicate. 1. The Ladder of Inference (Bias). We often make assumptions and jump to conclusions, without checking the facts and logic. This leads to confusion, conflict, and poor decisions. To avoid this, we need to climb DOWN the ladder and question our thinking. This is a dangerous ladder that creates bias and limits us. 2. The Five Whys. A simple way to go deeper. Ask “why” (5 times) until you find the root cause. - It uncovers hidden assumptions and beliefs. - It prevents superficial solutions. - Be curious and open-minded and keep digging. 3. Affective Frame A technique teachers use. When you know why you care, you’ll pay more attention (and listen better). We can lose focus and drift away. Constantly remind yourself of the purpose and value of the conversation. You’ll stay engaged longer. 4. Signal vs. Noise: Signal: The main message or idea. Noise: Anything that distracts, confuses, or weakens the signal. We’re bad at expressing our thoughts. This leads to chaos. - Be clear and concise. - Use simple words and sentences. - Avoid jargon and filler words. This will help the other person focus. Complex questions or vague thoughts lead to messy back and forth. 5. The Pareto Principle. We don’t need to cover every topic every time. Pareto principle tells us that 80% of the outcomes come from 20% of the inputs, actions, or ideas. However, more often than not, we repeat 80% of the things that only produce 20% of the results, instead of the opposite. This happens because the 20% that produces the 80% is the hard work, the tough tasks, the deep, challenging questions. Remember. Time is precious. We only have so much time to communicate and get things done. - Focus on the important work. - Have the difficult conversation. - Ask the hard questions. That’s how you make every conversation count.

#ThursdayThought "Why is it always about you?" my daughter interrupted me, her voice loud. Just five minutes earlier, she had been venting about her overwhelming homework load and the pressures of club fundraising. I had responded with what I thought was a supportive anecdote: "I had even more homework in high school back in China. It's all about time management. If you manage your time effectively, you can get everything done." I believed I was being encouraging, sharing my experiences to help her. But in that moment of her outburst, I realized something crucial: once again, I had made it about me. To her, my response felt like I was the hero of the story, and she was left feeling small and unheard. This happened a few years ago, but the lesson remains fresh in my mind. I had failed to listen actively. As a mentor and coach, I've since learned the vital importance of active listening, a lesson my daughter taught me. Here are three key insights I've gained from that experience: 1. Empathy Over Solutions: Often, people don't want solutions right away. They want empathy. Their emotions need to be validated. 2. Ask, Don't Tell: Instead of jumping in with answers, asking thoughtful questions can help the other person find their own solutions. This empowers them and shows that you value their perspective. 3. Offer Suggestions Sparingly: Suggestions can be helpful, but only after the person has had the chance to explore their own ideas. Uninvited advice is not welcome. As a leader, I often want to jump in to help my team members when they face obstacles managing their projects. I've applied these active listening skills in coaching them—using the same formula. First, I show empathy. Second, I give them space and ask open-ended questions to help them find their own solutions. Lastly, I add some of my own suggestions only after they have exhausted their own ideas. In this way, they develop their problem-solving skills and feel proud of their achievements. And as their coach, I share in that pride. =========================== Lucy Chen, award-winning author and human potential coach (I specialize in guiding individuals to build resilience and achieve success—reach out through DMs to explore collaborative opportunities on your transformative journey.) (To order my book, https://lnkd.in/gmb4_WrA) #BuildResilience #BookWriting #GiftedCoaching #ActiveListening #Empathy #Leadership

Ever find yourself speed-reading an email just to fire off a reply? Nodding along in a virtual meeting while multitasking? Yeah…same. But when it comes to clients, that quick-response habit can chip away at trust. Active listening isn’t just for in-person conversations. It’s a trust-building superpower in 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 interaction—live, virtual, or written. And while these tips might seem obvious, they’re easy to skip when the inbox is overflowing and the clock is ticking. So here’s your quick reminder on how to bring more intention—and trust—into every client exchange. In live conversations: 🔸Ask clarifying questions: “Can you expand on that?” or “Tell me more.” 🔸Paraphrase what you heard: “So what I’m hearing is…” 🔸Stay present—no glancing at your phone or multitasking. In virtual meetings: 🔸Make eye contact with the camera—show that you’re engaged. 🔸Avoid the temptation to check your email or other windows. 🔸Summarize key points to confirm alignment. In written communication (like email): 🔸Slow down—don’t rush to reply. Read carefully to catch nuance, tone, and what’s not being said. 🔸Pay attention to any underlying concerns or missing details—sometimes what’s left unsaid is just as important as what’s written. 🔸Acknowledge their concerns or points: “I see you’re prioritizing X—let’s talk about that.” Trust isn’t built by being the fastest responder. It’s built by showing you’re 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨.

Ever feel like your sales team is a Formula 1 car missing a crucial part? You're speeding along, but something's holding you back. Sure, your sales reps can present, negotiate, and close, but how well do they really listen? Active listening is the quiet force that can accelerate your sales engine. It uncovers hidden challenges and opportunities by fostering trust and rapport. Take a moment to evaluate. Are they truly connecting with customers? Or are they driving on autopilot? Equip your team with active listening, and watch as closed deals shift into high gear. Improving your sales team’s active listening skills is one of the most impactful ways to boost discovery call quality, build trust with buyers, and close more deals. Here’s a structured approach to help your team become better listeners: 1. Define What Active Listening Means in Sales Start by clarifying the behaviors you expect: •Asking follow-up questions before jumping into a pitch •Paraphrasing the buyer’s problem to confirm understanding •Taking notes without interrupting •Pausing before responding •Prioritizing the why behind the response—not just the surface-level answer 2. Incorporate Active Listening into Training •Call Reviews: Use your meeting recordings to highlight moments where a rep missed or nailed listening. •Role Plays: Create exercises where reps must ask 3+ follow-up questions before pitching anything. •Silent Role Play: Have one rep speak for 90 seconds uninterrupted. The listener then must summarize the message and ask one relevant follow-up. 3. Coach with a Framework Listen → Acknowledge → Explore → Respond Encourages reps to: 1. Truly hear what was said 2. Show they heard it 3. Dig deeper 4. Only then respond with value 4. Track Listening as a Skill in 1:1s Include a “Listening” section in call scorecards or coaching check-ins. Questions: •Did the rep interrupt or talk over the buyer? •Did they ask insightful follow-ups? •Did they circle back to something the buyer said earlier? 5. Use Metrics & Feedback •Track talk-to-listen ratio, still one of my favorite, original Gong features for Coaching (ideal is often 45/55 or less for rep) •Post-call ask: “What was the prospect’s biggest pain point?”—if they can’t answer it clearly, they weren’t listening. 6. Reward Great Listening •Celebrate great examples in team meetings. •Highlight when active listening led to key insight or deal breakthrough. Have you tried any of these strategies with your team?

Most people listen to respond, not to understand. Don’t be most people. We've all been there: Nodding along, waiting for our turn to speak. But true connection happens when we truly hear each other. Great leaders listen to understand, not just to reply. Here's how to replace passive responses with powerful active listening: 1. "I get it." → "It sounds like you're saying [paraphrase]. Did I understand correctly?" ↳ Shows you're paying attention, not just assuming 2. "I hear you." → "That sounds [challenging/exciting/etc.]. Tell me more about that." ↳ Invites deeper conversation and shows genuine interest 3. "Yeah, makes sense." → "What led you to that perspective?" ↳ Encourages them to expand their thoughts and reasoning 4. "Got it." → "I want to make sure I understand fully—could you elaborate on that?" ↳ Ensures clarity rather than brushing past important details 5. "That's interesting." → "What stands out to you the most about that situation?" ↳ Helps them reflect on what truly matters in their experience 6. "I understand." → "So, if I heard correctly, [summarize key point]. Is that accurate?" ↳ Confirms comprehension instead of making assumptions 7. "I know how you feel." → "That must have been [emotion]. How did you navigate that?" ↳ Validates their experience without making it about yourself 8. "Okay." → "Let me take a moment to process what you've shared." ↳ Signals deep attention instead of rushing to reply 9. "That's tough." → "How can I best support you right now?" ↳ Offers concrete action rather than passive sympathy 10. "Mhm." → "I truly appreciate you sharing this with me." ↳ Creates a safe space for continued openness Remember: Active listening is a leadership superpower. It has the power to: ✔ Build unshakable trust ✔ Eliminate costly misunderstandings ✔ Turn forgettable exchanges into lasting connections Watch how these phrases reshape the way you lead, influence, and connect. 𝗣.𝗦. Which one will you try first? 👇 — ♻️ Repost to help others become better listeners ➕ Follow Sandra Pellumbi for more. 🦉

You don’t need another 1:1. 👇 You need to actually listen during the ones you have. Active listening isn't a “nice-to-have” leadership skill. It’s how you catch the red flags 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 they turn into exit interviews. How many times have you seen this? ---> A high performer subtly checks out ---> A great team player starts missing small things ---> An ambitious contributor stops asking for feedback And their manager? Didn’t even notice. Because they were too busy 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨. Here’s the truth: Listening doesn’t mean waiting your turn to speak. It means picking up on the 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘴 before they shout through a resignation letter. Leaders who listen: ---> Make space for discomfort ---> Ask questions they don’t know the answer to ---> Notice patterns in tone, not just performance If you’re losing great people, start here. Not with a retention bonus. Not with a culture committee. ---> With a pause. A breath. And your full attention. What’s something a teammate 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 say… that taught you everything you needed to know? -- Enjoyed this post? Follow

Great leadership requires great listening. Ignoring that point is a sure way to fail. Thanks to my friend Rob Dance for this insight. Leaders who talk more than they listen: ↳Miss out on excellent ideas from others ↳Make costly mistakes by discouraging dissent ↳And drive their best people away Eventually, the only people left will be those who have nothing to say. Instead, learn to truly listen to your team. Here are 8 ways to do so more effectively: 1) Actively Prioritize Listening Over Talking ↳Aim to listen more than you speak during meetings or conversations ↳Make a conscious effort to give others the floor 2) Ask Open-Ended Questions ↳Get your people talking with questions - the more open-ended the better ↳Ask things that can't be answered with a yes or no, like: "What challenges are you facing?" or "How do you think we can improve this?" 3) Make Feedback Safe ↳Create an environment where employees feel safe to give input without fear of judgment or punishment ↳Explicitly invite openness and assure confidentiality when necessary 4) Listen Without Judgment ↳Avoid jumping to conclusions or interrupting ↳Let the person finish before responding, and keep an open mind 5) Be Present ↳Eliminate distractions such as checking your phone or multitasking ↳Give the person your full attention, face them, and make eye contact 6) Have Regular One-on-One Check-Ins ↳Dedicate time for individual conversations ↳Use them to understand concerns, goals, and suggestions 7) Allow Anonymous Feedback ↳Use tools like surveys or suggestion boxes (which can be virtual)  ↳This allows employees to share candid thoughts they might not feel comfortable expressing in person 8) Follow Up ↳Show you listened by taking action on feedback or providing updates ↳If an employee suggests a tool to improve productivity, for example, explore it and report back A leader who really listens creates a culture where people feel valued and appreciated. That then encourages them to keep contributing and keep working harder, Which has powerful results. Are there other techniques you use to make sure you're truly listening? --- ♻️ Repost to help others understand the importance of listening. And follow me George Stern for more content like this.

Are you listening to understand...or just to reply? Listening isn't just hearing. It's the cornerstone of leadership. When leaders truly listen, they gain more than information. They earn their team's respect, trust & loyalty. Improve your listening skills with these techniques: 1. The 3 A's of Active Listening: • Attitude: Bring an open mind to every conversation. • Attention: Give the speaker your undivided focus. • Adjustment: Be willing to change your perspective. 2. The SOLER Technique: • Squarely face the person. • Open your posture. • Lean in. • Eye contact is key. • Remain relaxed while listening. 3. Confirm You Understand: • Reflect back what was said in your own words. • Ask the person if you got it right. The best leaders are the best listeners. And it's a skill anyone can learn. Transform your leadership, one conversation at a time. Find this helpful? Repost ♻️ to share the learning. Thanks! And follow Nihar Chhaya, MBA, MCC for daily leadership tips. P.S. What's your go-to tip for active listening?

There is one quality that every great leader possesses — They listen more than they speak. Understanding your team is how you build trust, foster collaboration, and drive innovation. Research from HBR shows that leaders who prioritize listening are 5.4 times more effective. → When you listen first, you open the door to different perspectives and unlock creative solutions. 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝘆𝗰𝗹𝗲 Active listening helps leaders break free from the cycle of self-reinforcing narratives that can form around them. This openness encourages everyone to share their ideas and concerns more freely. In fact, team members who feel truly heard are 4.6 times more likely to be engaged. 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 Listening isn’t just about hearing words. It’s about fully engaging—paying attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues, understanding the message, and responding with intention. Leaders who listen: • 𝗙𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘁𝘆 ↳ They create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing diverse viewpoints, leading to richer discussions. • 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 ↳ When team members feel seen and valued, trust deepens, and connections grow stronger. • 𝗔𝗱𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺𝘀 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆 ↳ They spot small issues before they escalate into major challenges. • 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 ↳ Decisions are grounded in real, well-rounded insights. If you’re ready to lead with listening, here’s how to start: • Focus completely when someone is speaking. • Clarify by summarizing what you’ve heard. • Ask questions that dig deeper. • Listen intently before responding. The most effective leaders don’t just focus on being understood. They prioritize understanding others. By honing your listening skills, you can build stronger, more engaged teams.