How Active Listening Transforms Relationships

I used to think I was a good listener. Then someone told me: "You listen to fix, not to understand." That hurt. Because it was true. Now I know - great listeners don't: • Jump in with solutions • Share their similar stories • Fill silences with small talk • Give advice nobody asked for • Make conversations about themselves • Rush to fill uncomfortable moments Instead, they do something rare: They create space for connection and understanding to emerge. (Even when it is uncomfortable.) And it changed everything. 5 habits that transformed my listening (and might just transform yours): 1/ Extended Silence Let thoughts breathe. Most gold comes after the pause. The real story often starts where most conversations end. Trust the silence. 2/ Zero Fixing Unless explicitly asked, your solutions stay in your pocket. Most people don't need your advice. They need your presence. The answers they seek often lie within them. 3/ Full Presence Your phone is a barrier. Choose presence or choose distraction. There is no middle ground. Every glance at your screen says "Something else matters more." 4/ Genuine Questions Not disguised advice. Not leading questions. Real curiosity. "What was that like for you?" or "What matters most about this?" Let their answers surprise you. 5/ Comfort with Discomfort Some conversations need space for sadness, anger, or confusion. Not every moment needs fixing. Not every story needs a happy ending. Sometimes holding space is the solution. This isn't easy listening. It's not for everyone. And that's exactly why it matters. If you: - Need to be seen as helpful - Can't handle silence - Always have a solution - Love giving advice - Think faster than you listen This path will be painful. But necessary. Try it today: One conversation. Complete presence. No fixing. No sharing. Just space. You might feel useless. You might feel uncomfortable. You might feel like you're doing it wrong. That's the point. Real listening isn't about you. It never was. --- Inspired by Kate Murphy's "You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters" and brought to you by Omar's Desk. Image Credit: @holidayphillips and @sylviaduckworth

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 & 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀  🎧💡 In a world where everyone is eager to speak, few take the time to truly listen. Listening is not about agreeing; it’s about understanding. A while back, during a strategy meeting across one of our business ventures, different teams had conflicting ideas, each convinced their solution was the best. Instead of jumping in with a decision, I chose to listen - really listen. I asked more questions, encouraged every viewpoint, and let the conversation unfold. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁? A breakthrough idea emerged, combining the strengths of all perspectives. Had I spoken first, we might have missed it. When people feel unheard, they become defensive. When they feel understood, they become open to discussion. This is true in leadership, business, and even everyday conversations. 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 ✅ 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝘀 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 & 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 When leaders genuinely listen, employees and colleagues feel valued and respected. This fosters trust and strengthens relationships. ✅ 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗦𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻-𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 Great ideas don’t come from one person alone. By listening to your team, you gain diverse perspectives, leading to better solutions and strategies. ✅ 𝗘𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 & 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝘆 When employees feel heard, they are more willing to share ideas and take initiative, driving innovation in the workplace. ✅ 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗘𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 Listening allows leaders to understand different viewpoints, helping them mediate disputes with empathy and clarity. ✅ 𝗘𝗻𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗲 & 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗱—they want to be heard and understood. A leader who listens creates a culture where employees feel motivated and engaged. This video perfectly illustrates how active listening can change the way we connect with others. Instead of reacting, dismissing, or arguing, we should: ✔️𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻—Not to reply, but to understand. ✔️ 𝗔𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝗻𝘀—Validation doesn’t mean agreement, it means respect. ✔️𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆—When people feel heard, they are more open to dialogue. ✔️𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 – Encourage deeper conversations and better insights by being curious. 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 Speaking less doesn’t mean being silent—it means choosing your words wisely while ensuring every voice is heard. 💬 Have you ever changed someone’s mind simply by listening? #Leadership #ActiveListening #Empathy #TrustBuilding #CommunicationMatters #ActiveListening #BusinessGrowth #TeamSuccess

The Quiet Revolution: Why Great Leaders Close Their Mouths "The most powerful person in the room isn't the loudest. It's the one who listens." I learned this the hard way. Early in my leadership journey, I thought my job was to have all the answers. To speak first. To fill silences. What I didn't realize? Every time I rushed to speak, I shut down possibility. Last year, during a tense strategy meeting at a client organization, I watched a CEO transform her entire team dynamic with one simple phrase: "I need to hear from everyone before I share my thoughts." The ideas that emerged changed their entire product roadmap. When leaders don't listen: 🚫 Innovation dies quietly 🚫 Diverse perspectives remain unshared 🚫 Psychological safety evaporates 🚫 The most vulnerable team members disappear Recent research reveals the business impact: ✅ Teams with high psychological safety are 76% more engaged  ✅ Active listening can increase collaboration by up to 25% ✅ Organizations with psychologically safe environments see 27% lower turnover But here's what nobody tells you about real listening: It's uncomfortable. It requires you to: 👂 Hold space for emotions you didn't expect 👂 Hear feedback you might not like 👂 Sit with silence instead of filling it 👂 Change your mind when the data demands it The most inclusive cultures aren't built with grand announcements or policies. They're built in small moments of genuine attention. For my LGBTQ+ colleagues, being truly heard might be the first time they've ever felt safe bringing their whole selves to work. For your team members from underrepresented groups, your listening might be the first time they've felt their expertise valued over their identity. Try this tomorrow: 1. In your next meeting, ask a question and count to 7 before speaking again 2. When someone shares an idea, respond with "Tell me more" instead of immediate judgment 3. Notice who never speaks, and create space specifically for their voice Real listening isn't passive. It's one of the most active, purposeful things a leader can do. It's not just kindness. It's strategy. 💬 When did someone's listening change the trajectory of your career? Share below. I'm listening. In Community and Conversation, Jim