Gender Communication Patterns

Most women aren’t struggling with ambition. They’re struggling with permission. To want more. To ask for more. To be more. And it’s not because we don’t have the drive, It’s because we’ve been taught that asking for what we want comes at a cost. “Women don’t advocate for themselves.” That’s the diagnosis. But let’s talk about the conditioning that created this symptom. 🧠 From a young age, we were trained to betray our own instincts in the name of likability. When we spoke up, we were told to be polite. When we led, we were labeled bossy. When we stood our ground, we were deemed difficult. Then we entered the workplace. And suddenly, those same qualities - assertiveness, clarity, ambition - became the ticket to success. Except now, they came with a cost: ⚡️ The likability backlash ⚡️ The ambition tax ⚡️ The invisible double standard So when people ask, “Why don’t women advocate for themselves?” I always ask back: “Why would they - when the price has always been higher than the reward?” During the group coaching session of our "Transform from Hidden Talent to Visible Leader" online program, one pattern showed up across the board: 👉 A hesitation to own their success. 👉 A discomfort with visibility. 👉 A learned fear of being “too much.” Not because they lacked value. But because no one taught them how to advocate without guilt or backlash. Here are 3 truths no one puts in leadership books: 💥 1. Self-advocacy is a continuous act of honoring your future self. Self-advocacy isn’t just about today, it’s about shaping the future you want. Every decision you make should align with where you want to be, not just where you are. • Say no to distractions that pull you away from your long-term goals. • Prioritize yourself by making decisions that build your future, not just serve immediate needs. Your future self will thank you. 💥 2. Stop asking for permission through politeness. How often do you hear: “Sorry to interrupt…” “This might not make sense, but…” “Just a thought…” Delete the disclaimer. Start with your point. You’re not a guest in the room. 💥 3. Your work will not speak for itself. It never has. And that’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to make it visible. Strategically. Boldly. Without apology. If this resonates, and you’re in a season of wanting to be seen -  not just for what you do, but for who you are when you lead Join the waitlist for our next cohort of From Hidden Talent to Visible Leader - a 4-week online experience for women who are ready to advocate for themselves with clarity, strategy, and quiet power. It’s not about becoming louder. It’s about becoming more you. ✨ Link in comments #HiddenTalentToVisibleLeader #WomenInLeadership #TheElevateGroup #PowerfullyYou #UnlearnToRise

When we think about women's safety at work, when was the last time we thought beyond physical security measures? We often limit the conversation to CCTV, security personnel, or late-night cabs. But safety extends far beyond these physical aspects. Emotional and psychological safety are just as crucial. Many women are silently forced to step back from pursuing their careers—not because they lack ambition or due to safety concerns, but because of the perceived threat of an unsafe work environment. This withdrawal isn't just a personal loss; it's a loss for the workforce and for our country's economic growth. But there's more to consider than just physical safety. Casual objectification, often disguised as "harmless" jokes or offhand comments about appearance, can erode a woman's confidence over time. These seemingly insignificant remarks send a clear message about how we value people. And it's not only men who contribute to this culture. Women can sometimes undermine each other too—through competition, exclusion, bad-mouthing, or silence. When women pull each other down, it reinforces the very barriers we should be breaking. So, what can organizations do differently? - Create a zero-tolerance policy for objectification: Strong policies against inappropriate comments must be backed by training and real consequences, ensuring that everyone understands that respect is non-negotiable.  - Empower employees to call out "harmless" behavior: Create safe channels where everyone can challenge casual sexism and disrespect without fear of retaliation. A silent workplace is a complicit one.  - Foster collaboration, not competition: Introduce mentoring and peer-support programs where women can lift each other up rather than feeling the need to compete in male-dominated environments.  - Hold leadership accountable: It's essential for leaders, both male and female, to set the tone and call out behavior in real-time. Culture change starts at the top.  - Change the culture, not just policies: A workplace free from bias is a place where women will feel empowered to rise into leadership roles, shaping the future of the organization. A company with gender balance at every level performs better, innovates more, and builds trust. Safety isn't just about protection—it's about creating a workplace where everyone can focus on their work, free from distractions, discomfort, or fear. When we address the full scope of safety—emotional, psychological, and professional—we create environments where people can truly thrive. In the end, it's not just about protecting women—it's about ensuring that the best ideas, the most innovative minds, and the fullest potential can come forward. A balanced, respectful workplace benefits us all. #WorkplaceSafety #GenderEquality #InclusiveCulture

One in five British men have no problem using sexist language. Only 14% feel comfortable calling it out when they hear it. Yet over 50% agree that sexist language can be hurtful. The math doesn't add up, does it? CPB London's "Double Standards" campaign exposes something we all know but rarely discuss: the casual sexism hiding in everyday language. The campaign's effectiveness is its simplicity: it shows the stark visual contrast between how we describe the same behavior in men versus women. Their research, conducted by Locaria, revealed the uncomfortable truth about why men use sexist language: → To "be funny" → To show camaraderie and bond with others → To fit in with group dynamics This isn't just about hurt feelings. Language shapes reality. When we casually use words that diminish women, we're not just being "harmlessly" inappropriate. We're reinforcing the very barriers that keep women from reaching their potential. Every "bossy" instead of "decisive." Every "emotional" instead of "passionate." Every piece of casual sexist banter that gets laughed off. It adds up to create environments where women have to work twice as hard to be taken seriously. This isn't just an English-speaking problem. Locaria confirmed that similar double standards exist across French, Arabic, German, Mandarin, Japanese, Italian, and Spanish. This is global. Systemic. Embedded in how we communicate across cultures. Their "Pledge for Positivity" asks people to: → Watch out for hidden sexism in everyday language → Create safe spaces for discussion without finger-pointing → Research the sexist phrases people around them use most → Call out sexist language with sensitivity → Recognize that "harmless banter" isn't harmless What I love about this approach: it's not about shame or blame. It's about awareness and action. Because most sexist language is used unconsciously. People genuinely don't realise the impact of their words. But once you see it, you can't unsee it. The question becomes: what are you going to do about it? Have you noticed double standards in the language used around you? What examples stand out? ♻️ Found this helpful? Repost to share with your network. ⚡ Want more content like this? Hit follow Maya Moufarek.

Since Trump’s return to office, a subtle but significant cultural shift has emerged among young people. At many American high schools one can see the rise of the “new chill girl”: progressive-leaning girls who choose silence over confrontation when peers make racist, sexist, or homophobic jokes. Speaking up risks being labeled “annoying” or “too woke,” while staying quiet preserves social inclusion. This silence is not limited to teenagers. Nationally, conservative policies and cultural signals – from Disney removing a transgender character to restrictions on pronouns in government email bios – reinforce a rollback of diversity and inclusion. Simultaneously, figures like “trad wife” influencer Hannah Neeleman glamorize pre-feminist ideals of domesticity, gaining massive followings. The result: progressive girls feel increasing pressure to suppress their views, not because they’re turning rightwing, but because the social cost of dissent has risen. Pew Research finds nearly half of teen girls already feel strong pressure to fit in, and today “fitting in” often means tolerating casual bigotry. This normalization of silence creates long-term risks: embedding sexist and racist behavior into peer culture, weakening women’s voices in professional life, and widening the gender divide. Trump’s impact here is less about explicit policy and more about reshaping cultural norms—distorting how a generation learns to navigate power, gender, and resistance. #GenderPolitics #GenZ #SocialPressure #ChillGirl #CulturalShift #TrumpEra #TeenVoices #Illiberalism https://lnkd.in/eC2_AK9K

Great discussion of how self-silencing is hurting women's health. Women are supposed to support those around them, be selfless, and deal with everyone's issues and BS while never getting upset. In fact, women are celebrated for composure and punished for raising their voice. But it turns out that women who self-silence, such as not expressing anger to those close to them, are at greater risk of negative health outcomes, including premature death. I see a lot of this self-silencing dynamic. Women feeling like they need to be the "good wife" or the "good mother", which apparently means never expressing annoyance, frustration, or anger towards their families and then feeling excessively guilty when they "snap". The reality is that family life is not all rosy. You can love your kids and your partner AND still voice your irritation, frustration, and even anger about the stuff that's not ok or makes you mad. In fact, doing so is better for your health. #selfsilencing #health

Black women do not get the same space to make mistakes, speak up or take risks in corporate spaces. It's been a weeeeeeeek on the internet. I've gotten alot of messages about why I haven't said more, done more, been louder. We don't always have the space to yell our thoughts from the rooftops. We are expected to be exceptional at all times, flawless in execution, and tireless in our efforts. One slip-up that would be overlooked, or even forgiven, in others can become a permanent scarlet letter for us. So if you're asking yourself why certain creators aren't as loud as you'd like them to be, remember, we are simply trying to protect ourselves. Every word, every post, every room we walk into has the potential to not only impact us but also ripple out to our peace, our families, and our livelihoods. As a Black woman, you are often held to impossible standards while consistently running up against the last best thing you did, constantly having to outdo and prove yourself, over and over. We're forced to keep receipts just to prove that we aren't imagining it, while leaders try to gaslight us into believing that we are the problem. It doesn’t matter how brilliant, how impactful, or how necessary you were yesterday; today, you’re expected to do it all over again, only bigger, only better. The bar never moves for us; it just gets higher. And yet, we still show up. We still create. We still lead. We still carve out space in systems not designed for us, knowing that every move we make will be dissected under a microscope. You're too much. You're too smart. You're too inquisitive. You're too whatever it is they need to say to help them unpack their own discomfort. So when you don’t hear us screaming from the rooftops, it’s not because we don’t have something to say. It’s because survival sometimes requires silence. Strategy sometimes looks like restraint. Strategy sometimes looks like moving in silence. And protecting our joy, our sanity, and our longevity will always matter more than performing for anyone else’s comfort.

I’ve had hundreds (if not thousands) of conversations with people in leadership—across industries, geographies and generations. Whether I’m facilitating a talk or listening to them share their stories, one theme shows up again and again, especially for women: We are often on the receiving end of advice we didn’t ask for. Advice about how we lead, how we should show up, what’s “too much” or “not enough.” Advice from people who’ve never walked in our shoes or carried our lived experience. And while some of this advice is well-intentioned, the cumulative impact can be exhausting. Chipping away at confidence. Triggering self-doubt. It reinforces the message that we need fixing, when what we really need is space to trust ourselves. So whether you’re navigating boardrooms, building something new or finding your voice again…here are 7 ways to handle unsolicited advice with grace, boundaries, and your power intact: 1️⃣ Pause before responding 2️⃣ Trust your knowing 3️⃣ Say, “I’m not looking for advice  right now.” 4️⃣ Reframe it (but only if you want to) 5️⃣ Notice the patterns 6️⃣ Reflect on what you need instead 7️⃣ Release the need to explain Unsolicited advice can often be more for the advice-giver than it is for the person on the receiving end. Remember: you don’t have to take in what isn’t aligned. #leadership

Strong women in leadership shouldn't have to worry about being labeled b**ches. Yet, it's still a huge concern for powerful, direct women who are passionate about moving the needle and getting things done. As little girls, we're told we can be anything, but with caveats. We also have to be nice, helpful, humble, collaborative, kind, pleasant, and likable. By adulthood, this conditioning translates to less valuable traits: Helpful ➡️ Self-sacrificing Humble ➡️ Self-effacing Collaborative ➡️ Your needs always come last Kind ➡️ Giving to exhaustion Pleasant ➡️ Passive Likable ➡️ Conflict avoidant On the one hand, we keep on being told that we don't need to keep with those old stereotypes, but women who speak plainly, communicate assertively, and eliminate padding are branded as strident, too direct, aggressive, cold, or simply called b**ches. Last week, for example, I met with a C-level finance executive who's worried that her no-nonsense communication style is keeping her from accessing new opportunities. FACT - Effective leadership requires conviction, strength, assertiveness, and confidence. FACT - Women have to embody these qualities in very specific ways to benefit from them. I get to work with powerful, assertive, driven executive women. They've worked their way to the top because they have a mission and a legacy to build. They're all too used to double standards, but they know what they want and how to unlock success. All they want is to use that power and privilege to make a meaningful impact, challenge the status quo (and rid us of double standards), and unlock more freedom to enjoy life outside the office. There are simple strategies we can use to lead with authority and stand in our power as women. I shared three in my 2024 San Diego Women's Week Keynote. Watch the replay below, then tell me, which is your favorite? #executivewomen #doublestandard #executivecoach #authority #CXOwomen #keynotespeaker #csuitewomen

Being told you’re “easy to work with” is the worst compliment you could receive. Here’s why: Nine times out of ten, that “compliment” isn’t about your skills or leadership potential. It’s about your ability to shrink so that everyone else can be comfortable. How smoothly you silence your preferences, your truth, your self. How quietly you take on extra work and stay in line (whatever that means). If you're not careful, you'll mistake it for a badge of honor when in reality it's a receipt & proof that you've been paying the likability tax. The likability tax is the unspoken toll women—especially Black women and women of color—pay to be seen as non-threatening, agreeable, and palatable in the workplace. It’s the cost of downplaying your voice and muting your truth in exchange for being “liked.” And it’s expensive. It’s when you smile and nod, even when you disagree. It’s when you say “I’m good either way” when you're actually not. It’s when you edit the deck, run the meeting, take the notes, follow up, and still don't ask for credit because somewhere deep down, you've learned that being liked is safer than being loud. And don’t get it twisted—this isn’t about being a team player. This is about self-erasure dressed up as professionalism. Because we know on some teams, when a woman has a strong opinion, a clear boundary, or ambitious ask she's labeled. Either she's too much, too difficult, too assertive, too entitled, too ______. So instead of speaking up, she's always agreeable, pleasant, and quiet - trading her voice for job security. And what does she get in return? Praise but no promotion. Thanks but no pay increase. Titled "low maintenance" and applauded for her invisible labor. This is how women, especially Black women and women of color—get underpaid, underestimated, and overlooked while being told how “nice” they are to work with. But let’s be clear: Nice doesn’t build equity. Agreeable doesn’t close pay gaps. Being “easy” to work with won’t get you in the rooms where decisions are made. It just ensures you won’t be seen as a threat. So no, you're not thriving sis. You're surviving. And you're tired of downplaying your contributions so that others feel comfortable. Tired of working twice as hard and getting half the credit. Tired of claiming it's “teamwork” when it’s really just a masterclass in self-sacrifice. When you're as good as you are, certain people benefit from you being quiet than they do from you speaking up. You don't need to be easier to work with. They need to be better at working with women like you. The next time someone says, “You’re so easy to work with,” ask yourself why. You just may be paying the likability tax. — Found this valuable? Make sure to ♻️ repost because friends don’t let friends miss out on helpful content! Want to work with us? Book your Fulfilled Career Clarity Call here - isimemen.com/start

Sexual harassment in the workplace isn’t always blatant. It often lurks in the shadows of subtle remarks and sly comments that many women endure daily. These aren’t the headline-grabbing incidents, but they leave a mark just the same—reminding us–women that their bodies and choices are up for public scrutiny, whether they like it or not. Let's picture this as I narrate You walk into work, ready to tackle the day, when a colleague comments on your outfit. It’s framed as a compliment, but there’s a tone that makes your stomach turn—a tacky, suggestive undertone that’s impossible to ignore. You force a smile, maybe let out a strained laugh, because what else can you do? The power dynamics are clear, and the fear of being labeled as "too sensitive" keeps you silent. After all, it’s just a joke, right? But these comments aren’t harmless. They’re not about your outfit or your smile; they’re about exerting control and making you feel small. They’re about reminding you that, to some, you’re not just a professional—you’re a body to be appraised, commented on, and objectified. And do you know what's the worst part? These remarks are often brushed off as banter, leaving you to wonder if you’re overreacting, if this battle is even worth fighting. Against the recent Calcutta Doctor's Rape-Murder case, the gravity of these everyday interactions becomes even clearer. It’s a sobering reminder of how a culture of objectification and entitlement can escalate into violence. The casual remarks at work may seem worlds apart from such a horrific crime, but they’re part of the same toxic narrative—a narrative that reduces women to their physical attributes and erodes their autonomy and safety. It’s time to stop pretending these interactions are harmless. No more forced laughter, no more brushing it off. Women deserve to work in spaces where their skills and intellect are valued—not undermined by unwanted comments on their appearance. The fight against sexual harassment, in all its forms, is a fight for every woman’s right to walk into work with her head held high, knowing she is respected for who she is and what she brings to the table—not just how she looks. Let’s call it what it is. Let’s refuse to stay silent. #letsrefusetostaysilent #happyindependenceday