Tips for Overcoming Feedback Challenges

Have you ever felt that immediate internal bristle when someone gives you #feedback? That visceral "but, but, but..." response that bubbles up before you've even fully processed what they've said? I had one of those moments just last week. A client mentioned that my explanation of a leadership framework "went a bit into the weeds". My first thought? "But I was just being thorough!" (Complete with an internal eye roll that would make any teenager proud.) #Defensiveness is such a natural human response. Our brains are literally wired to protect our self-image — it's not a character flaw, it's neurobiology! (Thanks, brain.) But here's what I've learned from years of both giving and receiving difficult feedback: how we handle those defensive moments often determines whether we grow from feedback or just barely survive it. Here's my toolkit for when those defensive walls go up (and they will): 1. Notice the feeling without jumping to action. When your chest tightens or your thoughts race toward justification, just label it: "This is defensiveness showing up." That tiny pause creates space between feeling and reacting. 2. Remember that impact beats intent every time. My intentions for that workshop were excellent (thoroughness!), but if the impact was confusion, that's what matters. My good intentions don't erase someone else's experience. 3. Reframe feedback as a catalyst for improvement and growth. The people who tell us uncomfortable truths are offering us something valuable. Sometimes the feedback that stings most contains the exact insight we need. (I have found that the truer the feedback is, the more it hurts.) 4. Focus on specific behaviors rather than your identity. There's a world of difference between "that explanation was confusing" and "you're a confusing person." Separate the action from your sense of self. 5. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. You're allowed to be a work in progress. (I know that I sure am.) Developing this #mindset transforms defensiveness from a threat to your worth into a normal part of your growth journey. What are your go-to strategies when defensiveness strikes? I'd love to hear what works for you. And yes, I'll shorten my explanation for the next time. Sometimes, the feedback that makes us squirm today often becomes the #wisdom we're grateful for tomorrow. #Professionaldevelopment #leadership #emotionalIntelligence #Feedbackculture

"You completely missed the mark." Getting constructive feedback can feel like a career crisis. Often followed by the knee-jerk reaction to defend yourself. So, as I prepared to deliver feedback to a great staff member, I was bracing myself. Instead, I got a master class in how to receive constructive criticism. As I shared my thoughts with her, she was nodding, and taking notes. And then she said, "Thank you." Compared to the normal defensive body language and "yes, buts" I was used to, she was a model of grace under pressure. Here are 7 strategies that set her apart: 1️⃣ The Shhh... Rule ❌ Immediate emotional reactions ✅ Say "thank you," and sit on it for now 💡Why? ↳ It gives your emotions time to cool down ↳ Once calm, you can objectively process the info 2️⃣ Take Careful Notes ❌ Relying on memory ✅ Write down what you heard word for word 💡Why? ↳ Shows you're taking it seriously ↳ Helps you spot patterns over time 3️⃣ Ask the Right Question ❌ "Why are you criticizing me?" ✅ "What would you like to see instead?" 💡Why? ↳ Clarifies feedback and creates action items ↳ Shows you're solution-focused 4️⃣The Mirror Technique ❌ Guessing their meaning ✅ Reflect back: "What I'm hearing is..." 💡Why? ↳ Catches misunderstandings early ↳ Shows you're actively listening 5️⃣ The Thoughtful Follow-Up ❌ Avoidance ✅ Schedule a check-in 2-3 weeks later 💡Why? ↳ Demonstrates accountability ↳ Builds trust and strengthens the relationship 6️⃣ The Documentation Log ❌ Treat each feedback session as isolated ✅ Keep a feedback journal 💡Why? ↳ Spot recurring themes ↳ Some bosses say they gave feedback and didn't 7️⃣ The Reframe ❌ Taking feedback as personal attacks ✅ Ask yourself: "If my best friend got this feedback..." 💡Why? ↳ Creates emotional distance ↳ Leads to better solutions Most managers want to give feedback because they want you to do better. They're investing their time in your growth. Do you have a tip for handling tough feedback? Share it in the comments👇 🎉You've got this and I've got you!🎉 ♻️ Share to help people with their professional growth 🔔 Follow Sarah Baker Andrus for more career strategies 📌Want job search support? DM me to chat!

“𝐇𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐈 𝐠𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤… …and changed absolutely nothing. 😐”** Ever felt that? You invest time in a coaching conversation. You keep it calm. Clear. You even ask questions like: ✨ “How do you think that call went?” ✨ “What could you do differently next time?” ✨ “What’s the goal for your next prospecting block?” They nod 🤔 They smile 🙂 They thank you 🙏 ↳ But when the next opportunity rolls around... nothing changes. Welcome to the world of the feedback-resistant salesperson. 😩 Now here’s the kicker: 📌 It’s not always about ego. 📌 It’s not always about laziness. 📌 And no — it’s not about being uncoachable. Sometimes, it’s simply this: ➡️ They don’t know how to take in feedback. ➡️ Or worse — they don’t know why they should. So what do you do when feedback is falling on deaf ears? ✘ You don’t talk louder. ✘ You don’t talk longer. ✘ You don’t shame them with data. ✅ You personalize the coaching approach. Here’s how 👇 🔹 1. Discover their “why not.” Ask directly: “What’s your process for applying feedback?” They may not have one. Or they’ve had bad coaching before and built a wall. 🧱 ↳ X-Ray the resistance before you prescribe the fix. 🔹 2. Coach through curiosity. Instead of giving answers, try: ⇢ “What are you hoping will happen if you keep doing it this way?” ⇢ “What would success look like if you did it differently?” You’re helping them sell themselves on the change. 💡 🔹 3. Speak in their style. Is your rep an analytical processor? 🎯 Bring them numbers. Is your rep emotionally driven? 🎯 Bring them stories. Is your rep competitive? 🎯 Show them what top performers are doing. ↳ Mirror their decision language to spark motion. 🔹 4. Shift the scoreboard. If you’re only tracking output (calls made, deals closed), You’re missing the coachable moments. Instead: ⇢ Track how often they try something new. ⇢ Celebrate progress, not perfection. This builds psychological safety + momentum. 🧠💥 💬 Final thought: Not every salesperson needs to be “taught.” Many just need to be understood first. Once they feel seen, They’ll start to hear you. Once they start to hear you, They’ll be ready to grow with you. 👀 Got someone on your team who resists feedback? Try switching the approach, not just the advice. 💬 Drop a comment if you’ve cracked the code with a resistant rep. Let’s build better teams — together.

You’ve Got Feedback—Now What? Feedback can be challenging, especially in a season where performance reviews can feel like a weapon. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. With the right approach, you can harness feedback as a powerful tool to elevate your leadership skills. Here’s a framework I recommend: 1. Pause and Reflect: Resist the urge to react immediately. Feedback often triggers emotional responses—good or bad. Taking a moment to step back ensures your reaction is measured and thoughtful. 2. Dissect the Message: What is the core of the feedback? Does it highlight a skill gap, a misstep, or a blind spot? Sometimes, it’s more about perception than performance— although both matter. 3. Seek Clarification: Not all feedback is crystal clear. Ask questions to understand the perspective behind it. This shows you value the input and are committed to improvement. 4. Strategize for Growth: Once you’ve digested the feedback, the question becomes, "What’s next?" Create an actionable plan. Whether it’s adjusting your approach, or doubling down on your strengths, the goal is progress. 5. Close the Loop: Circle back to the person who provided the feedback. Share what you’ve taken away and how you plan to act on it. This fosters trust and encourages open communication. Great leaders aren’t just great at giving feedback— they excel at receiving it well and transforming it into fuel for personal and professional growth. ******* Hi, I'm Love! I help leaders and organisations create impactful, resilient teams through: ➡️ Leadership training tailored for onsite, hybrid and remote teams ➡️ Strategic consultancy to bridge gaps in management and staff relations ➡️ Courses that empower leaders to adapt, engage, and thrive To explore how to take your leadership and team to the next level, use the link in my featured section to schedule a call. #LeadWithLOVE #Unsiloed #Leadership #Feedback #GrowthMindset #Unsiloed