Improving Feedback with Feminist Concepts

I once sat in a performance review where a female colleague received feedback like, "You need to soften your tone in meetings." Meanwhile, her male counterpart got advice about honing his skills in digital marketing to drive better results. This wasn't an isolated incident. Women are often given feedback on their style—how they speak, how they present themselves—while men are given feedback on their skills and performance. This difference is subtle but significant. When we tell women to adjust their style but don’t offer specific, actionable guidance on improving their roles, we hold them back from real growth. It sends the message that success is about fitting in rather than developing the skills that actually move the needle. The impact? Women miss out on critical opportunities for advancement. They don't get the feedback they need to improve in measurable ways while men are groomed for the next significant role. We need to change this if we want to see more women in leadership. It starts with giving women the same actionable, skill-based feedback we offer men. Instead of vague critiques, we need to focus on growth areas tied to business outcomes. For example, rather than saying, "You need to be less direct," say, "Deepen your analytics knowledge so we can optimize our strategy." Clear, actionable feedback empowers women to build the expertise they need to move forward. It’s how we help them close performance gaps, earn promotions, and contribute to the organization's growth. We all have a role to play in this. Giving women the feedback they need isn’t just about helping them—it’s about strengthening the entire team and creating a more equitable workplace. What’s one way you can provide actionable feedback today? Tired of watching women get vague feedback that holds them back? Subscribe to the ELEVATE newsletter for no-nonsense advice on giving women the feedback they need to grow, thrive, and lead—because it's time we start getting real about progress. https://elevateasia.org/

76% of high-performing women receive negative feedback. Only 2% of high-performing men face the same. These were the figures of the most stunning research I have seen this year. Feedback isn’t fair and it’s not accidental. The feedback gap is how gender dynamics create leadership blind spots (and what research reveals about fixing it) Last month, a tech VP pulled me aside after a workshop: "I've been told I'm too direct for six years straight. My male peer uses identical language. He's been promoted twice." This isn't just unfair. It's costing companies their best talent. The feedback trap works in four specific ways: 1. The competence/likability trade-off ↳ When you display leadership traits, you're labeled "aggressive" ↳ Research shows women internalize these labels 7X more than men ➤ Action: Record the next five meetings. Note who gets interrupted and whose ideas get credited properly. 2. The personality vs. performance divide ↳ Your reviews focus on "how you make others feel" ↳ Men's reviews focus on "what they accomplished" ➤ Action: Before your next review, submit a one-page accomplishment document with measurable outcomes. 3. The invisible labor penalty ↳ You perform 40% more emotional management work ↳ Yet performance systems rarely measure this contribution ➤ Action: Track your "invisible work" for two weeks. Present it as strategic relationship-building in your next discussion. 4. The confidence interpretation gap ↳ When you express uncertainty, it's seen as "lack of knowledge" ↳ When men do the same, it's viewed as "thoughtful consideration" ➤ Action: Practice the phrase "I've analysed several approaches" before sharing concerns. A CMO I coached discovered this pattern in her team. She implemented structured feedback templates. Within six months, promotion rates for high-performing women increased 34%. Retention improved by 28%. Three moves that work for my highest-performing clients: 1. Request specificity ↳ When given vague feedback, ask "What specific behaviour would you like to see instead?" ↳ 89% of the time, it reveals the bias wasn't even conscious 2. Build your evidence bank ↳ Include specific metrics and outcomes ↳ Share it monthly with decision-makers, not just at review time 3. Form a feedback circle ↳ Create a trusted group of 3-4 peers who exchange honest observations ↳ Focus exclusively on behaviors and outcomes, not personality ↳ Use this as your reality check against biased formal feedback The most successful women I coach don't just absorb feedback. They transform it. What feedback pattern have you experienced? ♻️ Repost to help women leaders navigate the feedback gap ➕ Follow Florence Divet ☀️ for more leadership insights 📌 For more practical tips on leadership, join my free newsletter: https://lnkd.in/ePitBSZv

Have you ever been told you are too quiet? Maybe you don’t speak up enough so, “people worry about your leadership skills.” Or, you don’t advocate enough for yourself so, “you aren’t taking control of your career like a natural born leader.” If so, this article is for you. Maybe you’ve received feedback that there is concern over your analytical skills and “quant chops.” Or, there is some general, yet vague, feedback that leadership worries, “you lack that killer instinct.” Or, maybe it’s the opposite and you are “too bossy” or “too opinionated.” Have you heard any of these things?  I have over my career. Instead of letting them control my path, I got upset, then angry, then curious. I decided that none of these descriptions were really a good read on me, or my leadership potential, and I decided to change the perception. You can too. I’ve interviewed hundreds of women in senior leadership over the years and one thing is clear: we’re navigating a constant push and pull. Be strong, but not too strong. Be likable, but not too soft. Show your ambition, but don’t make anyone uncomfortable. Women aren’t just doing the job, they’re doing the extra work of managing how they’re perceived while they’re doing the job. We wrote this piece for HBR because it’s important for women to know how to not only subvert stereotypes and shape how others see them, but to do it without losing themselves in the process. Too many of us think there is nothing we can do when we hear feedback that doesn’t feel quite right. Sometimes, there are actions we can take. I love this piece so much because it says we don’t have to be victim to the stories about us or around us, we can do something about it.   1️⃣ Craft a counternarrative – Instead of internalizing biased feedback, reshape how people see you by aligning your strengths with what the organization values (on your terms!). 2️⃣ Use positive association – Enthusiasm and future-focused language can subtly shift others’ assumptions  and build trust. 3️⃣ Turn feedback into power – Don’t immediately accept or reject it, investigate it. Use it to understand what success looks like in your environment, and then find authentic ways to express that in your own leadership style. So if you’ve ever felt like your success depends not just on what you do, but how you’re seen…you’re not imagining it. Especially in times of economic uncertainty and shifting priorities, it becomes even more pronounced. And while there are no one-size-fits-all strategies, when women take control of their story, they open doors for themselves AND others. Let’s stop contorting ourselves to fit outdated models. We can rewrite the models themselves. Let me know what you think. https://lnkd.in/gcCSE7XW Colleen Ammerman Harvard Business Review Lakshmi Ramarajan Lisa Sun