Feedback Techniques

Have you ever been told you are too quiet? Maybe you don’t speak up enough so, “people worry about your leadership skills.” Or, you don’t advocate enough for yourself so, “you aren’t taking control of your career like a natural born leader.” If so, this article is for you. Maybe you’ve received feedback that there is concern over your analytical skills and “quant chops.” Or, there is some general, yet vague, feedback that leadership worries, “you lack that killer instinct.” Or, maybe it’s the opposite and you are “too bossy” or “too opinionated.” Have you heard any of these things?  I have over my career. Instead of letting them control my path, I got upset, then angry, then curious. I decided that none of these descriptions were really a good read on me, or my leadership potential, and I decided to change the perception. You can too. I’ve interviewed hundreds of women in senior leadership over the years and one thing is clear: we’re navigating a constant push and pull. Be strong, but not too strong. Be likable, but not too soft. Show your ambition, but don’t make anyone uncomfortable. Women aren’t just doing the job, they’re doing the extra work of managing how they’re perceived while they’re doing the job. We wrote this piece for HBR because it’s important for women to know how to not only subvert stereotypes and shape how others see them, but to do it without losing themselves in the process. Too many of us think there is nothing we can do when we hear feedback that doesn’t feel quite right. Sometimes, there are actions we can take. I love this piece so much because it says we don’t have to be victim to the stories about us or around us, we can do something about it.   1️⃣ Craft a counternarrative – Instead of internalizing biased feedback, reshape how people see you by aligning your strengths with what the organization values (on your terms!). 2️⃣ Use positive association – Enthusiasm and future-focused language can subtly shift others’ assumptions  and build trust. 3️⃣ Turn feedback into power – Don’t immediately accept or reject it, investigate it. Use it to understand what success looks like in your environment, and then find authentic ways to express that in your own leadership style. So if you’ve ever felt like your success depends not just on what you do, but how you’re seen…you’re not imagining it. Especially in times of economic uncertainty and shifting priorities, it becomes even more pronounced. And while there are no one-size-fits-all strategies, when women take control of their story, they open doors for themselves AND others. Let’s stop contorting ourselves to fit outdated models. We can rewrite the models themselves. Let me know what you think. https://lnkd.in/gcCSE7XW Colleen Ammerman Harvard Business Review Lakshmi Ramarajan Lisa Sun

Flo Health is the world's first femtech unicorn (yay) but it's also founded and funded by men (hmm) It's great that women's health is gaining more recognition, given the vast inequality in funding, research, and focus... BUT It also exposes a huge problem with the startup ecosystem. → Just 2% of global VC funding goes to women (WEF) → Women's presence on pitches is *neutral at best* and becomes negative when women don't embody typically female traits (Harvard) → Investors prefer pitches presented by men - when presented with two identical pitches, 68% funded the startup pitched by a man and 31% funded the exact same startup pitched by a woman (Harvard) → 83% of investment committees have no female members (British Business Bank) Women are discriminated against at all stages of the investment process. → Women are asked more negative questions around risk and worst-case scenarios, whereas men are asked about opportunity and opportunity (Harvard) → Women have to fight against preconceptions, we are judged more frequently, and held to higher standards (Yale) Ultimately, people with the most privilege raise the most money, and I count myself in that bucket as I am a white, privately educated female. → Just 0.5% of funding goes to black founders (WEF) → 79% of VC Seed funding for diverse founders (which is a tiny amount) goes to white women (BBG Ventures) There is SO much inequality in the startup world, and it's talked about but never taken seriously. Instead, female founders are assumed to be running businesses that aren't VC-backable, or that there just aren't enough of us. This is an uncomfortable topic, but the only way we can improve this system is to educate people about the huge inequality that exists in a sector awash with bonkers amounts of capital. Flexa #Startups #Fundraising #Inequality

I once sat in a performance review where a female colleague received feedback like, "You need to soften your tone in meetings." Meanwhile, her male counterpart got advice about honing his skills in digital marketing to drive better results. This wasn't an isolated incident. Women are often given feedback on their style—how they speak, how they present themselves—while men are given feedback on their skills and performance. This difference is subtle but significant. When we tell women to adjust their style but don’t offer specific, actionable guidance on improving their roles, we hold them back from real growth. It sends the message that success is about fitting in rather than developing the skills that actually move the needle. The impact? Women miss out on critical opportunities for advancement. They don't get the feedback they need to improve in measurable ways while men are groomed for the next significant role. We need to change this if we want to see more women in leadership. It starts with giving women the same actionable, skill-based feedback we offer men. Instead of vague critiques, we need to focus on growth areas tied to business outcomes. For example, rather than saying, "You need to be less direct," say, "Deepen your analytics knowledge so we can optimize our strategy." Clear, actionable feedback empowers women to build the expertise they need to move forward. It’s how we help them close performance gaps, earn promotions, and contribute to the organization's growth. We all have a role to play in this. Giving women the feedback they need isn’t just about helping them—it’s about strengthening the entire team and creating a more equitable workplace. What’s one way you can provide actionable feedback today? Tired of watching women get vague feedback that holds them back? Subscribe to the ELEVATE newsletter for no-nonsense advice on giving women the feedback they need to grow, thrive, and lead—because it's time we start getting real about progress. https://elevateasia.org/

Q. Is a "feedback sandwich" still a best practice? (a word of praise followed by constructive feedback, then more praise)? A. No. When a "feedback sandwich" is effective it's not because of the "sandwich" format. It's because there is already enough trust established between the manager and the employee that the employee can accept the manager's suggestions easily - meaning the "sandwich" wasn't even necessary. The reason so much managerial feedback is badly received by employees is not because of the way it's delivered. It's because the relationship between the manager and the employee isn't strong enough. We easily accept feedback from people we trust - like a family member or good friend. A manager can establish that level of trust by being someone employees look up to and respect. It takes time to build trust but it's absolutely worth it. When your teammates trust and respect you, it's because you trust and respect them too. When you reach that point, they'll not only listen to your feedback, they'll ask for it. For years managers have been taught that certain words or phrases or techniques like the "feedback sandwich" will help their feedback be better received, but this is bad advice. It goes counter to everything we know about people. If the reason you're able to give feedback is because you're the manager and they are not - an unequal power relationship - your feedback is not likely to do any good. It can easily damage your relationships even further. Trust is the key. Someone has a PTO request? Make it your highest priority to approve it. Someone needs you to look at a document? Do it as quickly as you can. There's no mystery about how to build trust on your team. The problem is that in many organizations they don't talk about this topic. They don't give it much importance. They assume that being a manager is enough. You're the manager, so employees must listen to you. But it's not true. If there's too little trust, your feedback will feel like a threat. With trust in the mix, you'll address anything that needs to be shared in the moment, like this: YOU: Sandy, what was the story with that Acme Explosives thing? SANDY: Oh, they have a new Receiving person who didn't see the Priority code on the bill of lading. We got it straightened out. YOU: Great, thanks. Somebody at Acme was hot about it. Leo, I think? He called me. I talked him down but he wasn't thrilled. SANDY: He's the Receiving manager. Thanks for talking to him. YOU: What can we do when that kind of thing happens, to avoid a small problem blowing up? SANDY: I got too worked up. I was trying to help the new Receiving guy but I guess he was nervous about making a mistake, so he was defensive and I was too harsh. That's my bad. Sorry about that. YOU: Okay, no problem, do I need to do anything else? SANDY: No, I'll shoot Leo an email and copy you in. I know what to say. YOU: Tremendous, thanks!

"Are you dating anyone?" “What was your childhood like?" "What is your timeline on kids, do you want them?" A VC asked me these during due diligence. After a month of meetings with this fund, I was promised a term sheet for Wednesday. But Tuesday night, I got a last-minute call—they wanted to “get to know me better.” That's when the personal questions came. Wednesday arrived—no term sheet. By Friday—still nothing. Three weeks later—ghosted. Being promised a term sheet and not receiving one is bad enough. I'm not naïve—I know it's never real until the money's in the account. But this felt different. This felt personal. Weeks later, still ghosted, I kept wondering: What did I say wrong? Should I have lied about wanting kids? Nothing had changed about the business—just their questions about me. At first, I told myself: VCs invest in people, especially pre-seed. There's nothing wrong with getting to know the founders. But let me ask: Male founders—have you EVER been asked about your dating life or future kids during diligence? Not as casual small talk—but with clear intent with several follow-up questions? I never wanted to play the "female founder card." I grew up in a male-dominated household. Worked in finance—mostly men, never minded it. I always played the same game, on the same field. But after years of fundraising as a sole female founder, my perspective changed. Even my male CTO left one of our investor meetings shocked: "I've never been asked those questions in all my years." Here's what I've learned: Male founders get: "How will you grow revenue?" (promotion — assumes success). Female founders get: "How will you avoid losing revenue?" (prevention — assumes failure). The data backs it up: 67% of questions to men are promotion-oriented; only 34% for women. Founders asked promotion questions raise 7× more. Now let me be clear - I don't mind prevention questions. Learning to reframe and get back on offense. I love the challenge. I love the game. BUT the data shows a clear gender difference—and there shouldn't be. 👉 To founders: when prevention questions come, pivot back to offense. 👉 To investors: pause and ask—would I frame this the same way to a male founder - or in this case- would I even ask this type of question? That investor? Never heard from them again. That term sheet? Never came. But what's meant for you will find you. If you stay focused on building a sound business—rooted in value, strong economics, and mission. We eventually raised from partners who saw the vision, believed in our team, and trusted us to execute. And as for the things we can't control—that's why I'm telling this story. Because awareness is the first step to change. Have other founders experienced something similar? I'd love to hear.

"Your AI pitch is impressive... for a woman." 🤢 I heard it in investor meetings. Saw it in term sheets. Felt it in every handshake. The reality about being a woman in AI: They don't just question your company. They question your competence. What they don't tell you: ➡️ Late-night product release reviews ➡️ Explaining basic tech to men who assume you're non-technical ➡️ Being the only woman in rooms full of "visionaries" ➡️ Fighting for legitimacy while others fight for funding The price of female founders: • Double the scrutiny • Half the trust • Triple the preparation • Quarter of the funding My reality check: ❌ Being brilliant isn't enough ❌ Being technical isn't enough ❌ Being successful isn't enough You also have to be: ✅ Twice as prepared ✅ Three times as confident ✅ Four times as resilient Because when you're a woman in AI: Every pitch is a test. Every meeting is a proof point. Every success is "surprising." To every woman building in High Tech: Your battle isn't just about funding. It's about changing the game. Stay technical. Stay fierce. Stay you. Follow Eva Karnaukh for AI, Voice & Dialogue ➕ Subscribe: https://lnkd.in/ewZTxFcE

I'll never forget reading my 360 feedback. "Dora prioritizes harmony and being liked over speaking uncomfortable truths." That hit hard. Because they were right. My team didn't need a cheerleader. They needed a leader. Since then, I've noticed similar patterns with the clients I coach. These habits look helpful,  but they erode trust: 1. Volunteering Your Team Without Asking ↳ You promise to help before checking capacity ↳ "Let me check our team capacity and get back to you tomorrow" 2. Pretending to Love Their Hobbies ↳ CEO mentions wine, you become a fake sommelier ↳ "I don't know much about wine, but I'd love to learn. What got you interested?" 3. Making Every Decision by Consensus ↳ You poll 12 people, still gathering input 6 weeks later ↳ Get input from 2-3 key people, then make the call and own it 4. Avoiding Difficult Conversations ↳ Top performer is rude, you drop hints instead of addressing it ↳ "I've noticed tension with the team. Let's talk about what's happening" 5. Over-Apologizing for Tough Decisions ↳ Your excessive apologies create team panic ↳ "We need to cut 10% from the budget. Here's why and how we'll handle it" 6. Trying to "Save" Struggling Team Members Alone ↳ You quietly redo their work at night ↳ "I've noticed you're struggling with X. What support do you need to succeed?" 7. Hiding Challenges to Keep Everyone Comfortable ↳ Major client threatens to leave, but "everything's great!" ↳ "Our client has some concerns, here's our plan" The fastest-rising leaders I work with all share one trait:  They'd rather be respected than liked. It's uncomfortable. It's also why they rise. ♻️ Repost to help your network ➕ Follow Dora Vanourek for more

🏏 I didn’t expect this to hit so hard with leaders. But the more I share it, the more the CEO's I share it with lean in: The quality of customer feedback is directly proportional to the strength of the relationship - and the amount of time they have invested with your organization. At first, this idea sounds simple. But in practice, it’s anything but easy. Early-stage feedback is often superficial or transactional. >> As trust grows, the feedback gets more thoughtful. >> Once you’ve earned loyalty, it begins to get less selfish and more future oriented. >> And when you reach advocacy? That’s when the gold shows up. 💡It becomes the feedback that challenges you and helps you co-create the future together. Here’s what surprised me: When leaders see this model, they realize why they’ve been getting shallow or scattered feedback. Worse, they realize they have been neglecting a tremendous source of economic value. Surveys are often superficial and lazy. Deep relationships require real feedback and real feedback comes through conversation. It’s transformed how I think about feedback, how I earn it, and how I lean into it. I shared a graph to illustrate how feedback quality occurs with relationship growth. Happy to send you an article I wrote on it if you're interested. I stumbled on this framework while working with some super humans Sarah Kalmeta, Tony Morales, Paula S. White, and Eduardo Villavicencio-Vizcaino whom it has been a gift to work with. I had the great honor of sharing it again today with •Ed Burke's Vistage Worldwide, Inc. CEO group in #Dallas, #Texas (along with a lot of other content) and was deeply humbled by the response of the group. Thank you Ed for the +/- feedback that you gave me throughout the week. It was transformational. #Leadership #Trust #Advocacy #FeedbackLoops #BusinessRelationships #PowerOfVistage

An investor once did 30 reference calls on me, behind my back. And surprise, surprise… not all the feedback was glowing. It was soul-crushing. I kept asking myself, why did it hurt so much? I was proud of my accomplishments, and I valued my relationships. Did being liked really matter? Then I realized: it wasn’t just about trust. It was about bias. Kristen Rae Pucci said something recently that really stuck with me: “Some people simply don’t like you because your existence reinforces that they need to do better.” For male founders, reference calls are a formality. For female founders, they feel like an investigation. “Is she difficult?” “Can she handle pressure?” “Do you like working with her?” We never ask those questions about men. And we know women are 1.5x more likely to receive negative personality feedback in performance reviews with words like abrasive, emotional, intense. Men get decisive, visionary, strategic. Or in investor terms = founder material. So I can’t help but wonder, if we’re still doing unsolicited “character” reference calls on female founders… are we just institutionalizing the same bias? Because here’s the reality: Women-founded startups still receive less than 2% of venture funding. Maybe the problem isn’t the pipeline. Maybe we need to find new ways to evaluate.

One of the hardest things in any workplace is providing constructive feedback. The internet is flooded with articles about "how to give feedback without offending", but in my experience, most of these tactical approaches fall flat when it comes to real human interactions. Why? Because we forget a crucial element: Trust. Here are some key points to consider: 1️⃣ Building Trust and Solid Relationships Instead of focusing exclusively on the "right way" to deliver feedback, invest time in building a strong, trust-based relationship with your colleagues. When you've developed mutual respect, even the most challenging conversations become easier. 2️⃣ We're Not Machines, We're People Sometimes, in the hustle of deadlines and targets, we start treating colleagues like cogs in a machine. It's only when conversations become difficult that we're jolted back to reality: we're dealing with human beings, not robots. People come with complexities, emotions, and unique circumstances. Recognize that. 3️⃣ Tactical Isn't Always Practical Before you Google "how to give constructive feedback without triggering a fight", STOP. Ask yourself, have you built a reputation that makes people trust your intentions? Every interaction you have at work is an opportunity—not just to transact business, but also to understand someone’s cause, offer support, and build credibility. 4️⃣ Time, Goals, and Emotions Matter Remember, your colleagues have their own goals and time constraints, just like you do. Ignoring the emotional part of your interactions isn't just unfair; it's unrealistic. And while we're on the subject, stop pretending you're devoid of emotions; it makes you less relatable, and therefore, less trustworthy. 5️⃣ The Cake Walk When you've made it a point to cultivate trust and mutual respect, offering constructive feedback becomes a piece of cake. You won't need a script or a 10-step guide. You'll simply speak your mind, as you would in any honest relationship. To sum up, if you find giving feedback hard, perhaps the real issue lies not in your delivery, but in the foundation of your work relationships. Build that trust and watch how the dynamic changes. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you found that trust makes your workplace relations easier? 🙏 Thanks for reading! #leadership #culture #feedback #workplacerelations