How to build trust while staying strong

Leaders want trust. But few know how to build it. Through decades of working with leaders and running my own company, I’ve discovered 5 essential elements that create unshakeable trust: 1. 𝗛𝘂𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆: Start with looking for your own responsibility in any given interaction that doesn’t end well. When ruptures occur, our defensive instinct is to focus on what others did wrong. Asking “What’s my responsibility in this?” helps move us out of victim mode and gives us back the power to repair and build back trust. 2. 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁: Check in with how open or closed your heart is. When it feels shut down—which often happens after conflict—real repair becomes almost impossible. Simply noticing how you’re feeling and naming it can begin to create an opening. When people can feel your heart and your openness, everything tends to go better. 3. 𝗖𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘆: Instead of trying to prove your case, seek genuine understanding. “I’m wondering why…” opens more doors than “Here’s why you’re wrong.” 4. 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲: Trust emerges gradually. You can’t force it or legislate it into existence. Since no two humans see the world the same way, ruptures are inevitable. The key is staying open through difficulties. 5. 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲: Extend trust before it’s fully “earned.” This might seem risky, but when we trust our instincts about someone’s fundamental character, we create space for deeper connection. When genuine trust exists, something extraordinary becomes possible: We can share ideas without fear, be wrong without shame, and create possibilities none of us could reach alone. I wrote about building unshakeable trust in a recent newsletter (linked in the comments). If you found this interesting, subscribe using the link in my profile to receive future insights on becoming the leader—and human—you’re capable of being.

Stand firm in your beliefs AND be willing to consider different perspectives. This is Assertiveness. When you are assertive, you state your needs and opinions without dismissing or belittling others. An assertive person is not aggressive. They are clear, honest, and respectful in their communication in all aspects of their life- personally and professionally. An assertive person doesn't back down from their values, but neither do they force their beliefs on others. Instead, they engage in a respectful dialogue where different viewpoints can coexist. To some, this might seem like a contradiction...but it's not. Not when you understand the role of listening. Listening plays a crucial role in resolving the apparent contradiction. When you genuinely listen to others, you show that you value their perspective, even if it differs from your own. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it does mean you acknowledge their right to their own beliefs. If you decide to go with your own beliefs instead of adopting the ideas of those around you, you won't damage your relationships as long as you demonstrate effectiveness assertiveness skills. Many of my leadership coaching clients choose to work on their assertiveness. It is important for them because assertiveness is strongly linked to trust and respect and a leader who is not trusted or respected cannot lead effectively. Trust is built when people see that you are consistent and fair in your communication. If you only push your agenda without considering others, you might be seen as aggressive or domineering. Conversely, if you never stand up for your beliefs, you might be perceived as weak or indecisive. Showing assertiveness with respect for others builds trust, showing that you are confident yet considerate. The first steps with my clients always involve working on self-awareness as it is the foundation of assertiveness (and emotional intelligence). It's difficult to be assertive if you don't know what you truly believe in and what you really need. It's also challenging if you not in touch with or in control of your emotions. For this reason, there are three actions I recommend starting with: ✴ Reflect on your emotions ✴ Understand your needs and values ✴ Recognize your triggers Moving on from this, we use a cycle of practice, reflection and feedback to develop over time. Assertiveness is a skill that CAN be fully developed with time and effort. While it's entirely possible to improve on your own, working with a coach can significantly accelerate your progress and effectiveness. Let me know if you need any help. Always happy to chat ☕ #assertiveness #personaldevelopment #professionaldevelopment #leadershipskills #communicationskills

Trust builds businesses. Lack of it? Kills them quietly. I’ve seen it firsthand in the businesses I coach: You don’t need to shout louder. You need to build deeper trust. Because trust is what transforms: → Visibility into credibility → Content into clients → Buzz into business that lasts And it’s built on what I call the 4 Cs: 1/ Competence → Share insight that moves people, not just fills space. → Give them the how, not just pretty frameworks. → It’s not about being impressive. It’s about being impactful. → Let them feel your expertise before they ever buy. Your clients don’t want more information. They want someone who helps them act. 2/ Conviction → Say what you actually believe. → It’s not about being louder. It’s about being clearer. → People don’t trust experts who play it safe. → Speak to what matters, not just what’s trending. The more grounded I am in what I stand for, the more naturally the right people show up. 3/ Credibility → Story over spotlight. → Teach through what you’ve lived, not just learned. → Share the scars and the solutions. → Position yourself as the guide, not the hero. Your story isn’t baggage. It’s your best trust-building asset, when you own it. 4/ Consistency → Show up even when it’s quiet. → Let your presence build predictability. → Brands are built in patterns, not one-off posts. → Create a rhythm that makes people say: “I knew you’d say that and I trust it.” It’s not about going viral. It’s about becoming recognisable. Reliable. Respected. Because trust isn’t built by chance. It’s built by design and by choice. PS: What’s your focus this quarter? -More reach -Or more resonance? I’d love to hear where you’re at. ♻️Repost to help others build trust