Confidence as a Trainable Skill for Women

It's fascinating how often the topic of confidence arises in my coaching sessions, no matter who I'm working with. Lawyers, executives, powerful women leaders, it still comes up. I have always defaulted to "The Confidence Code" by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman on this topic, and their findings on the gender confidence gap are just as much true now as ever. The tendency for women to underestimate their abilities while men often overestimate theirs, coupled with workplace evaluation biases, has a significant impact. We see these actions and internalize the differences. So then, it becomes hard to believe confidence is a 𝗦𝗞𝗜𝗟𝗟, not a born feature, cultivated through practice – by acting your way into feeling more confident. This week, I'm sharing a few "Confidence Boosters" inspired by these insights:  𝟭. 𝗘𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: The Confidence Code emphasizes that confident individuals aren't necessarily perfect, but they are willing to act despite their fears and potential for mistakes. They understand that action often precedes confidence. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗧𝗶𝗽: Stop waiting for the "perfect" moment or feeling completely ready. Identify one small step you can take towards a goal you've been putting off. Even imperfect action builds momentum because you are being intentional about what you want to do and why.      𝟮. 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗜𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗖𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰: Our internal dialogue plays a significant role in shaping our confidence. Negative self-talk can be a major confidence killer. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗧𝗶𝗽: Pay attention to your thoughts. When you notice negative or self-deprecating statements, challenge them. Ask yourself: Is this thought 100% true? Can you be absolutely certain that it is? Recognize and acknowledge your feelings, but instead of agreeing with them or fighting with them, get curious about where they might have come from and nurture yourself onwards.     𝟯. 𝗙𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: The pursuit of unattainable perfection can lead to paralysis and self-criticism. Confidence grows from acknowledging and celebrating small victories and learning from setbacks. 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗧𝗶𝗽: Shift your focus from achieving a flawless outcome to recognizing the effort you put in and the progress you make. Celebrate your small wins and view mistakes as learning opportunities. My first question when I've tried something that didn't go to plan, what did I learn? We are always learning.    Do you have any other practices to embody and embrace confidence? I would love to hear them!

Most people think confidence is a personality trait - you have it, or you don't. But the truth is, confidence is a skill. It can be developed and strengthened like a muscle. Unfortunately, society tells us to "fake it 'til you make it." But that is bad advice (I learned this the hard way). Trying to be someone you're not leads to self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and, even worse, burnout. The key is to build it brick by brick through consistent action. Here's how: 💡Start before you feel ready. Successful people understand that skills and confidence are built by doing, not waiting. 💡Make one small, bold choice at a time. With repetition, being brave becomes a habit - who you are. 💡Reframe challenges as opportunities. When you feel uncertain, choose to fail forward and learn. 💡Find your "zone" - note when you feel most energized and in control. Recreate those conditions. 💡Reconnect to your "why." Ground yourself in your deeper purpose to ignite motivation and resilience. By practicing these steps, you develop real confidence from the inside out. It becomes part of your identity. That's how you cultivate the unshakeable confidence to go after your dreams. One brick at a time. Hope this is helpful. ✌️ ------------------------ Hi, I'm Michelle. I'm a former fighter pilot turned speaker, author, and coach. If you found this helpful, consider reposting ♻️ and follow me for more content like this.

“I just need to feel more confident before I go for it.” That’s what a senior leader told me last week. $200K+ in comp. 15+ years of experience. Still questioning her worth in the room. And I get it. We’ve been taught that confidence is something you have not something you build. But here’s the truth: ✅ Confidence isn’t a personality trait. ✅ It’s a skill one you can strengthen daily. ✅ And most people are waiting for it to “kick in” instead of practicing it on purpose. If you’ve been holding back… Waiting for the title, the win, the external validation That’s not confidence. That’s permission. Here’s a better way: ✔️ Rewire your self-talk ✔️ Track your proof (yes, you have plenty) ✔️ Take 30 seconds of courage when it counts ✔️ Practice being seen especially when it’s messy ✔️ Visualize and embody leadership energy ✔️ Reflect daily so the habit becomes identity This is how high-performing professionals shift from doubt to momentum. From hesitation to presence. You don’t need to “feel ready.” You need to take the next small, brave step. Confidence is built one rep at a time. What would shift for you if you practiced it like a skill? ✔️ Follow Anna Belyaeva for mindset strategies and career tools to land the 6-figure roles you actually want.

You cannot wait on confidence to arrive. You have to built it —one bold move at a time. Here’s the truth: Most of the women I coach aren’t walking into new roles, new industries, or promotions already confident. They’re unsure. They have self-doubt, too. They’ve read the job description 17 times and still think they’re missing something. I've been there. In meeting rooms I didn't belong, and should have been quiet. I had less experience and industry knowledge, but found moments to speak up, share a small idea, stay persistent when I believed in something, and slowly possibilities started to unravel. What separates professionals who stay stuck from the ones who step forward: 💡 They shift from “I'm not good enough to “I believe in my potential” That one tiny mindset tweak? It changes everything. → “I am not good enough" shuts down the opportunity for you to tap into your strongest capabilities. → But "I believe in my potential" opens up space. It says: “Maybe I’ve never done it before. But I’m capable. I’m resourceful. And I’m willing to try. And I deserve to try" Confidence isn’t a requirement for your career. It’s a result. You don’t build it by waiting. You build it by doing. By trying. Failing. Trying again. And saying yes before you feel 100% “ready.” So next time your inner critic says you're not good enough. You get to answer back.

A client once told me: “Sneha, I do the work, but nobody notices me.” The truth? She didn’t have a performance issue, she had a confidence issue. And she’s not alone. I’ve coached hundreds of professionals who are talented, hardworking, and committed, but invisible at work. Because here’s the hard truth: 👉 Doing good work is not enough. 👉 You need confidence to make your work visible. 🟢 The Confidence Blueprint I Shared With Her 1️⃣ Body Language Mastery Stand tall, shoulders back, own your space. (Pro tip: practice a power pose before meetings.) 2️⃣ Voice Control Speak with clear, measured tones. No rushing. No mumbling. Record yourself to improve delivery. 3️⃣ Preparation Overdrive Confidence grows when you’re over-prepared. Research twice, anticipate questions, and know your stuff better than anyone else. 4️⃣ Strategic Visibility Speak up in every meeting. Don’t wait to be called on, contribute insights that add value. 5️⃣ Dress Code Excellence What you wear affects how you feel. Invest in clothes that make you feel sharp and powerful. 6️⃣ Network Building Schedule coffee chats. Build relationships across teams. Confidence multiplies when people know you beyond your desk. 7️⃣ Skills Showcase Document and share your wins. A running list of contributions makes imposter syndrome disappear. 8️⃣ Emotional Control Stay calm under pressure. Deep breaths before you respond. Never let them see you sweat. 9️⃣ Feedback Mastery Ask for feedback and implement it. It shows growth, resilience, and leadership potential. ➡ Checkout the carousel for more information! Here’s the result my client saw in just 90 days: ✨ She spoke up in leadership meetings. ✨ Her contributions got recognized. ✨ She was invited into bigger projects. ✨ And yes, she got noticed. 👉 The lesson? Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill and it can be learned. P.S. If you’re tired of being overlooked despite doing the work, DM me. I’ll share strategies to help you get visible, get noticed, and step into your spotlight. #Confidence #Leadership #PersonalBranding #SnehaSharmaTheCoach