How To Discuss Performance Standards With Colleagues

For years, I struggled with this: How do you set high expectations while staying approachable and supportive? I thought you had to choose. But you don’t. Here’s the framework I use to balance both: Technique #1: Set CLEAR expectations Ambiguity kills performance. 1.  Be upfront about what’s expected—no guesswork. 2.  Explain why the work matters—context inspires effort. 3.  Make success measurable—what does “good” look like? When people know exactly what’s needed, it’s easier to aim high without feeling lost or pressured. Technique #2: Be CONSISTENT How it works: 1. Hold everyone (including yourself) to the same standard. 2. Lead by example—don’t ask for more than you’re willing to give. 3. Show up the same way, every time—fairness builds trust. Consistency keeps expectations grounded and prevents resentment from creeping in. Technique #3: Focus on GROWTH, Not Just RESULTS Every project is a stepping stone to something bigger—for them and the team. 1. Frame every challenge as a chance to learn. 2. Remind your team how today’s work builds tomorrow’s opportunities. 3. Connect their goals to the bigger picture. This shifts the focus from just delivering to actually growing—and that’s where real motivation happens. Technique #4: Lead with EMPATHY Tough feedback doesn’t have to feel like an attack. 1. Be honest but kind during tough conversations. 2. Show them you believe in their ability to do better. 3. Demonstrate what great execution looks like—they’ll learn by seeing. Empathy doesn’t soften high standards; it makes them achievable. Technique #5: Celebrate WINS A simple “well done” can go a long way. 1. Call out great work—publicly and privately. 2. Celebrate milestones, no matter how small. 3. Show appreciation regularly—it matters. I’m still working on this myself, but I know people perform better when they feel valued. 💡 TL;DR → You don’t have to pick between being “nice” or being “demanding.” → You can set the bar high and lift people up while they climb. → You can be both. And when you get the balance right, your team will surprise you. How do you balance high expectations with support?👇 Drop your thoughts—I’d love to learn from you. #leadership #growthmindset #teammotivation #peoplemanagement #startup

The biggest mistake in performance conversations? Trying to correct before you connect. For years, I believed improvement meant focusing on gaps. So I zeroed in on what wasn’t working. The result? A discouraged team member who left. I learned that recognition outperforms criticism—not just emotionally, but in actual performance outcomes. That shift led me to the B.R.I.D.G.E. Framework for coaching growth: B – Be Intentional ↳ Set aside dedicated time for positive interactions R – Recognize Effort ↳ Notice what’s working—daily, not just during reviews I – Individualize Your Approach ↳ Tailor feedback to what motivates them D – Demonstrate Genuine Interest ↳ Ask, listen, show up with curiosity G – Guide with Positivity ↳ Reframe problems into growth pathways E – Evaluate and Adjust ↳ Learn what works. Repeat. Drop what doesn’t. Want 3 phrases to help build this BRIDGE? "I value your contribution—and I see how it's making a difference." "I believe in you. You'll learn through this." "I'm here to support you. How can I help?" This isn’t about sugarcoating. It’s about creating conditions where people can thrive. _____________________________________________ 💡 Save this framework for your next performance conversation.

You might not want performance conversations to be personal, but trust me, they are very personal to your employees. Their livelihood is at stake. Their capability is in question. The consequences are incredibly high. My job is to stay calm and bring structure to it. Otherwise, it can become a tangled mess. Ideally, I’ve set clear expectations upfront. And they’ve been getting feedback from me at a regular clip. But sometimes, we must step back and ask, “Where are we?” Here's how I structure those conversations: 📌 My first question: "Do they see it?" Do they appreciate what’s needed to meet or beat expectations? Do they understand how and why they’re coming up short? If "No," you need to get them there. How? Asking them to self-assess can give me useful intel. You can also finesse this by getting others to provide feedback. Different words can often break through. If they do see it... 📌 "Do they want to fix it?" If the answer is "No," the path becomes painfully obvious. You can’t have people in the role that don’t want to meet it. And people willingly leaving their role is easiest. How? Finesse it by previewing the severance or exit package. Identify roles they might thrive in. Chances are they're frustrated, too. Or if they’re a great fit in the wrong role, you can discuss a trial elsewhere in the org. Finally, if they see it and want to fix it... 📌 “Do they know how?” If not, this is a great place to coach. Use questions to guide them in the direction you need. If they write the map, they tend to follow it. If they know how and are not improving, there are two possibilities: -> They’re not making the change. -> They’re making it, and it’s not helping. In either case, the fair choice for your team and for them is likely an exit. These conversations are always challenging. But they're nearly impossible when we don't have a plan. You can have conversations, or you can lead them. In moments of high emotion, clear is kind. If you found this post helpful: - Please repost ♻️ to help other leaders - Follow Dave Kline 🔔 for more posts like it - Subscribe to my MGMT Playbook 📕 (in bio) Join 30K leaders and get access to 75 practical playbooks + working templates for every challenging management moment.

Honest performance conversations can feel uncomfortable—but avoiding them is worse. I've made that mistake (more than once) and now do my best not to repeat it. Here's why: When we delay or sugarcoat tough feedback, we miss the chance to help our teams grow. Clarity isn’t cruel; it’s what empowers people to improve. So avoiding these conversations for my own comfort hurt us all in the end. But how do you approach these conversations the right way? → Have them early. This is the mistake I've made too many times. Don’t wait until frustrations pile up or annual reviews roll around. Feedback is most impactful when it’s timely. If you wait too long, what was once likely a correctable behavior becomes a pattern at best, or a habit at worst. → Lead with specifics. Vague comments like, “You need to improve communication” don’t help. That's like saying "There's going to be weather today." Without specifics, there's no clear action to take. → End with a plan. Performance conversations shouldn’t just identify issues—they should spark solutions. Sometimes, the corrective action is clear-cut, other times you'll need to work together on actionable next steps. But no matter what, end with an action plan (one you can reflect on later for accountability). When done well, these conversations strengthen trust, build accountability, and set the stage for long-term success—for individuals and the team. Because the hardest conversations are often the ones that matter most. #teambuilding #leadership

I've worked with hundreds of teams, and the #1 request that team members consistently make of their leaders surprises me every time. No, they don't wish their bosses were more warm toward them. No, they don't wish they gave them more compliments. What they actually want is much simpler: “I really wish my manager was more clear.” They want to know where they actually stand in terms of performance, rather than some weird mind voodoo about “growth opportunities.” They want to know exactly what they could be doing better rather than some vague, passive-aggressive notion of “be more collaborative” or “take more ownership.” They want to know if their ideas are actually being considered and would prefer an outright “no, not this time,” rather than some blanket corporate speak of “we're processing everything...” Above all, what teams crave is CLARITY: “I wish I knew where I stood” “I wish I knew what I could exactly do differently” “I wish I knew where we were going with the overall strategy” “I wish I knew what the rest of the team was working on and what is going on” They want to know what you actually mean, rather than what you think they want to hear. How do you create this clarity? One of the best ways to do this is to SET UP A TOPIC MARKER. That is, signal that something important is coming -- so they don't mistake your significant message for “just another thing I should be roughly aware of.” For example, when you want to be clear about a person's performance: 🔴 Don’t just say this: “It'd be great if you could try this next time.” 🟢 Try saying this: “Let’s take a moment to check in and get on the same page about your performance.” Or, when you want to be clear about team direction: 🔴 Don’t just say this: “Here's what we're working on.” 🟢 Try saying this: “I want to emphasize what our overall direction is and why.” You'll notice in the ineffective examples, you're rushing into talking about the topic without first signaling its importance. Set the stage. Flag their attention. Mark the topic. -- I wrote more in-depth about how to create this clarity in last week's newsletter. Link to the piece is in the comments below.