How to Apologize as a Team Leader

As leaders, we strive for excellence, but mistakes are inevitable. How we handle them defines us. One of the most powerful phrases a leader can say is "mea culpa" – my fault. This lesson has held true many times throughout my career. In one instance, my boss informed me of a very public and embarrassing error my team made on a project. I immediately sent an email to the responsible team member and copied the whole team to communicate that we needed to do better. Another team member courageously told me privately that being copied on the email made everyone uncomfortable. Recognizing the impact, I called a team meeting. I openly acknowledged my error, apologized, and took full responsibility. Then we collaborated to identify how we could mitigate the original project error from happening again in the future. Admitting mistakes shows vulnerability and a commitment to improvement. It also strengthens team cohesion and communication. Research by Amy Edmondson at Harvard Business School supports this approach. She found that leaders who admit their mistakes create a culture of psychological safety, where team members feel safe to speak up and learn from failures without fear of blame. In leadership, saying "mea culpa" isn't a sign of weakness. It's a commitment to integrity and growth. It shows we value honesty over ego and learning over perfection. How have you handled mistakes?

Earlier this week, I watched as a group made a dumb mistake, and yesterday they came out with an "apology" that sounded like one that my 12 year old would make. Basically: "I'm sorry I got caught, but really it's kind of your fault anyway, and I'll learn from this how not to get caught next time." Look, you will get stuff wrong, all the time, particularly if you're pushing hard. That's not only ok, it is actually a good thing, if you get good at apologizing the right way. It isn't hard, and the bonus is that it can make you feel a whole lot better about the mistake when you do it right. The basics: * Take responsibility without equivocation ("I screwed up") * Provide a genuine expression of remorse ("I'm really sorry") * Give an accounting of what happened-- or at least what you think happened-- without excuses ("I didn't follow our established processes because I was rushed and thought I could just wing it") * Tell them how you'll avoid a similar mistake going forward ("We've implemented an automated checklist to make sure we don't skip steps going forward") * Tell them how you're going to make it right ("Obviously, we'll discount our invoice for this month to make up for the inconvenience") And then, as in anything in leadership (and, really, life overall) be prepared to listen with open ears and an open mind. Your mistake could easily lead to great learning and growth, IF you do it right.

Saying your sorry isn't a sign of weakness. In working with a leader a few years back, I remember them saying, "I don't apologize to the team, even if what I did was wrong. It shows them I'm weak and I make mistakes. It allows them to question other decisions." What they didn't know what that the team already KNEW they made mistakes, because we all do. Plus they could see the mistakes for themselves. The fall out from that stance was a team that fought and placed blame on others when mistakes were inevitablly made. Their leadership was also underminded due to a lack of transparency and trust. Maybe the mistake was further down in the team. As a leader, you may not be the person directly reponsible, but as the leader the situation is yours. Even in this case, it's ok to take responsiblity and apologize to the team. Let them know you see it too and what you're doing to address it going forward. That is leadership. Saying your sorry isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign you are a leader and you will make sure to take care of your team.