Best Practices For Handling Audience Anxiety

19 years ago, I used to get incredibly nervous before speaking on stage. Racing heart. Tunnel vision. Dry mouth. Today, half of my job is being on stage. Here’s my 7-step pre-stage checklist for how I conquered stage fright: (Before you step on the stage) Step 1: Set One Clear Intention Nerves often come from scattered thoughts.  So anchor your mind with a single, positive goal: • For a pitch: “Get the buyer to sign and stay firm on numbers.” • For a presentation: “Connect with the audience and deliver value.” Avoid negatives like “don’t mess up.” Your brain clings to “mess up.” — Step 2: Pick a Focal Point Choose a random spot in the back of the room (or bring a grounding object, like a pen). Right before you begin, mentally send all your nervous energy there. It gives your brain somewhere to “put” the anxiety - and frees you up to focus. — Step 3: Breathe Mindfully Most people shallow-breathe when they’re nervous. This just worsens anxiety. Do this instead: • Close your eyes • Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth • Push your belly out with each inhale (deep belly breathing) — Step 4: Release Muscle Tension Anxiety makes us clench everything - jaw, shoulders, stomach. This kills blood flow and increases anxiety. Instead, start at your head or toes and relax each muscle group with one breath: • Relax your face and eyes • Relax your jaw and neck • Loosen shoulders and chest • Relax arms and hands • Relax your stomach and abs • Continue down to your toes You’ll feel calmer and more grounded instantly. — Step 5: Find Your Center Before going on stage, shift your focus to a spot 2 inches below your belly button. This is your physical center - used by athletes and performers to stay grounded. As you breathe, imagine calm radiating from that point. During your talk, return to it anytime nerves creep in. It’s your internal anchor. — (While you’re on stage) Step 6: Repeat Your Process Cue This is your personal “how” mantra. • Interviewer: “Smile and ask great questions.” • Speaker: “Keep it warm and engaging.” • Performer: “Smooth and steady.” Keep repeating it silently throughout to stay focused and intentional. — Step 7: Direct Your Energy Feel the nerves rising? Don’t fight them - redirect them. Use your focal point from Step 2. Mentally “throw” your anxious energy toward it. It’s like dropping a heavy backpack: instant relief. __ Save this post and come back to it before your next big moment. Whether it's a presentation, interview, or performance, these steps will help you show up as your most confident, centered self.

After seeing me give a keynote last week in Seattle, a client asked me for my go-to stage prep tips—a question I get asked often this time of year. (Yes, even the most practiced public speakers still actively prepare for getting on stage. There’s no autopilot button for this!) Here’s what I shared with her: Physical Prep— >> Breathe: Diaphragmatic breathing. In through your nose, fill your belly, exhale slowly. It centers your body and gets your mind focused. (Also calms jitters). >> Posture: Stand tall. Feet shoulder-width apart. Chest open. Shoulders relaxed. Helps project confidence… and helps you physically own the space (think Executive Presence). >>Chew gum: Yes, really. Chew gum before you get up there. Releases tension, reduces dry mouth. (Just be sure to spit it out before you start speaking!). Mental Prep— >> Reframe nerves: Instead of “I’m nervous,” tell yourself “I’m excited.” That adrenaline? Let it FUEL you. >> Visualize success: Picture yourself delivering your message with confidence. Imagine the audience responding positively. Set the tone before you even start. >> It’s not about you: The key. Focus on them, not you. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about making a connection with the audience. Shift the spotlight to them in the first 20 seconds by asking a question or inviting them to move their body. You’ll get a second to catch your breath and actually take in the stage, lights, and audience at hand. One last thing? Thank the backstage crew for all their help. Because having a working mic and flattering lighting really matters—and you most definitely couldn't do that part without them.

Is public speaking your worst nightmare? For many, the fear of public speaking ranks above the fear of death. Sounds dramatic, right? A couple of weeks ago, an employee asked for my advice on being less anxious and more confident on stage. There is no perfect formula that works for everyone, but I shared what helps me get more present and confident on stage. 1. Remember that the audience is rooting for you. People don’t go to talks hoping to be bored, they go hoping to learn something or to be entertained. If you see people who look like they are not paying attention, often that has more to do with them than with you. 2. Find happy faces and focus on them. There are usually some people in the crowd who are vibing with the talk. When you find them, focus on and deliver the talk to them. As an audience member, it’s hard to know who the speaker is talking to, and it can look weird if the speaker’s gaze is constantly darting around the room. 3. Stand confidently. The audience can sense your energy during the talk. If you are constantly pacing or shuffling, you can look uneasy, which can make you uneasy. Find a position that you feel confident in and own it. How you show up is who they will read your energy. 4. Make clarity your number one goal. It’s easy to set the expectations for yourself out of whack if you compare yourself to an entertainer. An audience can learn a lot from someone who might be nervous but who focuses on making their message as clear as possible. But if you go too far in the direction of entertaining and you don’t have a clear message, nerves can kill the whole talk. The more you build confidence in the clarity of your message, you will be more confident and able to add more jokes and personality. 5. Anxiety is a signal you care. It is normal to feel some nerves before a talk. It signals that you care about the audience and how the message will be received. When you harness that anxiety, it can ultimately drive you to do better and be more prepared, so try it use it that way instead of letting it shut you down. 6. Pick topics you care about. When picking the topic for your talk, find something you genuinely care about. It is very hard to give a great talk about something you don’t genuinely care about. When structuring a talk, focus on putting yourself in a position to speak genuinely about the topic. Bonus: If you are feeling confident and want to take your talk to the next level, you should think about the emotional arcs throughout your presentation. It’s more interesting to watch someone talk through the highs and the lows, than it is to hear only about the highs. Bring us on the journey of your story, or how you found your insights. This is just a start of how to up your presentation game. To my pros out there, what other advice have I missed? What would you say to someone who is starting to hit the talk circuit?

When I first started speaking publicly, my biggest struggles were: 1️⃣ Physical fear (How do I stop shaking and sweating?) 2️⃣ Mental fear (How can I do something so scary?) 3️⃣ Imposter syndrome (Who am I to do something like this?) 4️⃣ Lack of confidence (How do I find the confidence to show up as my best self?) Sound familiar? 🙋♀️ Here’s my advice: 🧠 Understand what’s happening in your body. When you step up to do something risky (like risking judgment, rejection, or looking silly), your body sounds the alarm. You shake. You sweat. You feel like you might throw up. But guess what? You can override that automatic response. Your body is just trying to keep you safe, but your mind knows better. Take a few deep breaths, calm yourself, and get on with it. 🌬️ 💭 Reframe your thoughts around public speaking. Nothing has meaning beyond the meaning you give it. So you get to decide—Is it scary? Or is it exciting? Is it a huge deal? Or is it a way to serve? Choose to see speaking as a conversation, an opportunity, an act of generosity. Shift your mindset, shift your experience. 🌟 📚 Your story is your authority. Think you’re not qualified to share? What could you possibly be MORE qualified to share than your own experience? Sharing the stories you’ve lived, the challenges you’ve overcome, the lessons you’ve learned and earned along the way—that’s your superpower. And no one is more qualified than you. 🦸♀️ 💪 Confidence comes from competence. You’ve got to get your reps in. Take one small step into discomfort, then another, and another. Build a track record of success and let it fuel your confidence. Confidence also comes from commitment—remind yourself why your message matters, who you want to help, and why it’s important. Lean into your commitment to serve, and let it fuel your confidence. 🔥 ✨ Confidence comes from clarity. A confused mind says no. We don’t like to move into the fog. Get clear on your message—WHAT you’ll share to make the impact you’re here to make. Clarity on your message fuels your confidence. 🌈 What’s holding you back? 🤔 Let me know, and I’ll share anything I’ve learned along the way that can help.

Your audience isn't always judging you.. (Psychology of why what YOU think they want is WRONG) As an introvert from Pakistan who once stuttered through his own name... I discovered a shocking gap when training high-achievers: What anxious speakers THINK audiences want versus what audiences ACTUALLY value. This insight transformed my clients' speaking impact. Here's what research reveals: 1/ Speakers obsess over: How do I LOOK? ↳ Appearance, posture, gestures ↳ "Do I seem confident enough?" ↳ "Is my outfit right?" Audiences focus on: What can I USE? → They want actionable insights without being sold to → Value substance over style → Care about relevance to THEIR problems DO THIS: Solve their problems with actionable insights. 2/ Speakers panic about: Will I FORGET? ↳ Memorizing word-for-word ↳ Fear of "going blank" on stage ↳ Obsess over perfect delivery Audiences crave: Can I TRUST you? → Authenticity signals expertise → Want speakers who are present, not perfect → Value genuine connection over polish DO THIS: Focus on connection over perfection. I learned this after bombing my talk trying to recite a memorized script. 3/ Speakers worry about: Am I GOOD ENOUGH? ↳ Compare themselves to "polished" speakers ↳ Fear not meeting expectations ↳ Believe expertise must be flawless Audiences want: Do you UNDERSTAND me? → Empathy with their specific challenges → Recognition of their situation → Real solutions to their problems DO THIS: Know your audience to solve their painpoints. 4/ Speakers stress about: Will they JUDGE me? ↳ Fear criticism and rejection ↳ Imagine audience looking for flaws ↳ Believe mistakes equal failure Audiences actually think: Is this RELEVANT? → They're self-focused, not speaker-focused → Care if content solves their problems → Some will always judge you and that's OKAY. DO THIS: Serve those who are silently asking: What's In It For Me? 5/ Speakers get stuck on: Did I say it RIGHT? ↳ Overthinking every word choice ↳ Replaying awkward phrasing in their head ↳ Trying to sound "smart" instead of clear Audiences ask: Did I GET it? → Clarity makes you memorable → They want simplicity, not jargon → Confused brains disengage to save energy DO THIS: Ditch the clever. Be clear. → Use plain language, short sentences → Speak like you're talking to one person, not impressing a panel REMEMBER: Audiences remember how you made them FEEL long after they forget what you SAID. ♻ REPOST to help others speak without fear. 📌 What's the biggest misconception you've had about what audiences want from speakers?

Resumes get you hired. But presentation skills get you promoted. And if you suffer from the following when presenting: - Dry mouth - Racing heart - Blotchy red skin Know this: You have the ability to pull yourself out of this death spiral. Here are 7 cheat codes for managing the fear of presenting to advance your career: —— 1. Simply Pause It might seem awkward, but there is nothing more powerful than a well-timed pause… • Make a strong point • Count to 5 in your head • Give your audience time to absorb —— 2. Hold Something Grab a water bottle, pen, slide advancer - whatever. This keeps you from collapsing (that means going inwards) You want your body to be open. Holding something keeps your arms away from you. —— 3. Avoid Memorizing You don’t want to sound scripted - and missing a line can cause you to panic... Instead, riff off an outline: • The opening line • The transition • The closing line —— 4. Slow Down We tend to rush things when we’re nervous. But it backfires. Take a breath. Slow down… • Speak slowly • It calms your nerves • Ensures everyone hears you —— 5. Move Around Staying still only enhances your nerves. Unlock yourself with movement to: • Reduce nervous energy • Keep your audience engaged • Use your space and body language —— 6. Embrace Nerves Feeling nervous before and during a presentation is normal. Remember: • It’s just energy • Embrace it, don’t fight it • Use it to fuel your passion —— 7. "...And It's OK Bud!" Our adrenaline can get the best of us. And you know what? It’s ok, bud! Try acknowledging it internally: ‘My mouth is dry, and it’s ok bud!’ ‘My heart is racing, and it’s ok, bud!’ Acknowledging what you're feeling lessens its power over you. —— If you found this useful, repost ♻️ this to your network and follow me (Nick Maciag) 🙌

I was terrified of public speaking and had embarrassing verbal tics. So what did I do? I joined the speech and debate team. I’ve turned my kryptonite into my superpower & given speeches in front of large crowds, including 60,000 on the lawn of Central Park. 5 tips to help you crush your next talk: 1️⃣ Do not pace. It distracts the listener and projects disorganized structure. Instead - only during major transitions in the speech - move to a fixed point on the stage 3 or 4 steps away, stop and square your shoulders to the audience. Take the listener on a journey with you. 2️⃣ Keep it on the up and up. Always gesture with your hands above the waist. Science shows you command respect when you use your hands to accentuate key points. 3️⃣ Hold space. Early on, project confidence and comfort with tension by pausing so long that it’s almost uncomfortable. But don’t do this too much or else it’s annoying and overly emphatic/preachy. 4️⃣ Be spontaneous. Say something up top that keys off the room, the day, ideally funny or ironic or self deprecating - anything that makes you appear unscripted and more natural. When you show you’re present, the audience mirrors you. 5️⃣ Never read. Sure, write out prepared remarks. Read them as many times as you want in front of a mirror. Then, burn them. Learn how to speak from the heart with simple notes that remind you of the key points. The audience came to hear you SPEAK - not listen to you read. Public speaking can set you apart. You probably are great at it and just don’t know it yet. With these tips, all the world’s a stage.

Two things I do to get over nerves of a big presentation or a talk (like my first TEDx coming up) is to rehearse with photos of a crowd in front of me and to power through the entire presentation no matter what distractions happen. Before I had this little multi-monitor set up, I’d actually print photos of crowds and pin them up. There’s a strange but pretty realistic thing that happens when you do this. Like exposure therapy, this brings up very real emotions of what it actually feels like on stage. I’ve learned that I need a mix of photos: ✅ Central image of a crowd being a normal crowd right before you get started. It makes me take stock of the moment right before I start and my energy in the first 30 seconds. This makes or breaks whether people will engage with you. ✅ A side image of an engaged crowd. When I feel like I’m in rhythm, my eyes tend to go to this one more to simulate flow. ✅ A side image of a bored crowd. This one I glance at for two occasions. If I’m feeling lost or nervous, I’ll look at this image to practice getting back on track and back to the engaged audience. Or, if I’m still in a state of flow, I’ll practice NOT getting thrown off by people who appear disengaged. The second thing I do to improve my practice is that I complete my run through no matter what. 🟢 Kids knocking on my office door 🟢 Text message or phone going off 🟢 Dog barking at the Amazon delivery In every real presentation I’ve done, there is ALWAYS some unplanned distraction that comes up. You have to practice getting back on rhythm when sounds and movement distract you. A bonus tip: record yourself and then watch it back as if you were an audience member. Adopt the mindset of someone sitting in the audience and cue up their “What’s In It For Me?” moment. ➡️ I hope this is good ➡️ I need inspiration for ______ ➡️ The last speaker was great/not so great ➡️ A “dementia advocate” is speaking about the future and innovation? Why? The audience isn’t there for you. They are there for them (even when they’re there for you). Serve them. Speakers, what advice would you add for the week prior to your big engagement? Assuming you’ve got the rehearsal of content down, what’s your next focus and why? 👇🏼

Does the thought of public speaking make you sick to your stomach? The sweaty palms. The shaky voice. The full-body urge to run. Getting from “I might throw up” to “I’ve got this” doesn’t require a miracle—just practice and a few tried-and-true tricks. After a decade of speaking (including pitching on Shark Tank!), here are 3 things that changed the game for me—and that you can start doing today: 🎯 Swap panic for presence: Ground yourself with a simple 4-4-4 breath before stepping on stage or hitting “record.” It calms your nervous system and clears your head. 🧠 Practice smarter—not longer: Rehearse your open and close 3x more than your middle. Why? Nailing the start and finish builds confidence—and makes the audience remember you. 🎤 Make it a conversation: Whether it’s a Zoom call or a conference stage, speak to someone, not at everyone. Eye contact + a story = instant engagement. Public speaking is a skill, not a personality trait. And the good news? Skills can be learned. 📅 Join live to ask questions, get coaching and build your confidence on the mic. 🎧 Prefer audio? Subscribe to Coffee With Kim wherever you get your podcasts What’s one thing that makes you most nervous about public speaking? Drop it in the comments—we’ll tackle it live!

We’ve all been there (and that includes ME): that moment when your carefully rehearsed presentation goes sideways because you called your client by the wrong name or your supposedly fail-proof demo crashes spectacularly. Research shows about 75% of us stumble during presentations, which means if you haven't yet, mazel tov—and your time is coming! But here's the good news: how you handle that fumble often makes a more lasting impression than whatever brilliant points you had prepared. I’ve been a professional speaker and speaking coach for more than two decades. And the number of times I’ve forgotten what I was going to say, said the wrong thing and had to correct myself, or stumbled over my words is probably in the thousands. Here’s what I keep in mind: The audience isn't sitting there with scorecards waiting to deduct points for imperfection. When you recover with confidence after calling the CEO "Jen” (her name is Jane), you're showing everyone you're human—arguably your most relatable quality in that moment. Remember that time you watched someone else's presentation meltdown and felt that full-body cringe of secondhand embarrassment? Then remember how impressed you were when they laughed it off and kept going? That's exactly what your audience experiences when you handle a blooper with grace instead of visibly unraveling and apologizing profusely and repeatedly. The irony is that our desperation to appear flawless actually creates the tension that makes mistakes more likely. When you give yourself permission to be imperfectly excellent, you'll actually connect more authentically with your audience than any robot-perfect, overly rehearsed delivery ever could. Here’s how to handle presentation mistakes like a pro: 1. Own it (briefly). Skip the dramatic apology tour—nobody needs to hear "I'm so sorry" seventeen times. A quick "Well, that wasn't in the rehearsal!" acknowledges the moment without turning it into your presentation's main event. 2. Keep your poker face. Your body language is screaming while your mouth is still talking. Take a breath, plant your feet, and resist the urge to physically collapse or frantically tap dance—your audience will follow your emotional lead. 3. Find the funny (when appropriate). Self-deprecating humor works wonders—"And this is why I wasn't hired as a tech support specialist!"—just make sure your joke doesn't undermine crucial content or throw someone else under the bus. 4. Flip the script. Turn your mistake into an intentional teaching moment: "Actually, this error perfectly illustrates why we need the new protocol I'm proposing!" 5. Have a recovery toolkit ready. Prepare your safety nets before you need them—backup slides for when technology betrays you, transition phrases for when your mind goes blank, and perhaps most importantly, a water bottle for when you need a break to gather your thoughts. #presentations #publicspeaking #communication