Approaches To Public Speaking Anxiety

When I started sharing my speaking journey publicly, everything changed. The traditional business advice says "fake it till you make it." But after working with hundreds of entrepreneurs, I've learned something counterintuitive: your biggest breakthrough comes from being transparently vulnerable about your struggles. I was on a call with a successful founder last week. When I asked if he'd spoken at conferences, he froze. "I can't even handle team meetings without sweating." When I shared my own speaking disaster story, forgetting my entire opening at a 500-person conference, something beautiful happened. He realized everyone wanted him to succeed, not fail. Here's what I learned about building in public through transparent speaking: 1. Vulnerability Broadcasting  Share your panic attacks, forgotten openings, and sweaty moments openly. Building your confidence journey in public permits others to be human. Your struggles become someone else's breakthrough story. Speaking fears are universal, your transparency breaks the shame cycle. Others see that success isn't about perfection, it's about persistence. 2. Story Stack Development  Document your 5 go-to stories for any situation and share them. Building your narrative library in public creates accountability for authenticity. Your stories become templates for other entrepreneurs to adapt. Transparency about your frameworks helps others structure their own experiences. 3. Confidence Protocol Sharing  Show your exact pre-speech routine and why it works. Building your confidence systems in public creates replicable frameworks. Your meditation, breathing, and preparation become roadmaps for others. 4. Authority Multiplier Transparency Document how one speech creates 50+ opportunities. Building your authority systems in public shows the compound effect. Your podcast invitations and connection requests become proof of concept. Transparency about speaking ROI motivates others to overcome their fears. 5. Failure Reframe Strategy Share how disasters become your best teaching moments. Building your resilience story in public transforms setbacks into comebacks. Your 15 seconds of silence become someone else's courage catalyst. Transparency about recovery shows that perfection isn't the goal. Others learn that audiences want value, not flawless delivery. This isn't just about becoming a better speaker, it's about creating beautiful, systemized, and impactful ways to share your expertise with the world. When you build your speaking journey in public, you're not just overcoming fears. You're showing other entrepreneurs that their voice matters and their message deserves to be heard. __ Enjoy this? ♻️ Repost it to your network and follow Matt Gray for more. Curious how this could look inside your business? DM me ‘System’ and I’ll walk you through how we help clients make it happen. This is for high-commitment founders only.

After seeing me give a keynote last week in Seattle, a client asked me for my go-to stage prep tips—a question I get asked often this time of year. (Yes, even the most practiced public speakers still actively prepare for getting on stage. There’s no autopilot button for this!) Here’s what I shared with her: Physical Prep— >> Breathe: Diaphragmatic breathing. In through your nose, fill your belly, exhale slowly. It centers your body and gets your mind focused. (Also calms jitters). >> Posture: Stand tall. Feet shoulder-width apart. Chest open. Shoulders relaxed. Helps project confidence… and helps you physically own the space (think Executive Presence). >>Chew gum: Yes, really. Chew gum before you get up there. Releases tension, reduces dry mouth. (Just be sure to spit it out before you start speaking!). Mental Prep— >> Reframe nerves: Instead of “I’m nervous,” tell yourself “I’m excited.” That adrenaline? Let it FUEL you. >> Visualize success: Picture yourself delivering your message with confidence. Imagine the audience responding positively. Set the tone before you even start. >> It’s not about you: The key. Focus on them, not you. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about making a connection with the audience. Shift the spotlight to them in the first 20 seconds by asking a question or inviting them to move their body. You’ll get a second to catch your breath and actually take in the stage, lights, and audience at hand. One last thing? Thank the backstage crew for all their help. Because having a working mic and flattering lighting really matters—and you most definitely couldn't do that part without them.

I was terrified of public speaking and had embarrassing verbal tics. So what did I do? I joined the speech and debate team. I’ve turned my kryptonite into my superpower & given speeches in front of large crowds, including 60,000 on the lawn of Central Park. 5 tips to help you crush your next talk: 1️⃣ Do not pace. It distracts the listener and projects disorganized structure. Instead - only during major transitions in the speech - move to a fixed point on the stage 3 or 4 steps away, stop and square your shoulders to the audience. Take the listener on a journey with you. 2️⃣ Keep it on the up and up. Always gesture with your hands above the waist. Science shows you command respect when you use your hands to accentuate key points. 3️⃣ Hold space. Early on, project confidence and comfort with tension by pausing so long that it’s almost uncomfortable. But don’t do this too much or else it’s annoying and overly emphatic/preachy. 4️⃣ Be spontaneous. Say something up top that keys off the room, the day, ideally funny or ironic or self deprecating - anything that makes you appear unscripted and more natural. When you show you’re present, the audience mirrors you. 5️⃣ Never read. Sure, write out prepared remarks. Read them as many times as you want in front of a mirror. Then, burn them. Learn how to speak from the heart with simple notes that remind you of the key points. The audience came to hear you SPEAK - not listen to you read. Public speaking can set you apart. You probably are great at it and just don’t know it yet. With these tips, all the world’s a stage.

You don’t need more time. You need more reps. I used to over-prepare for big meetings and speeches. Slide decks, talking points, mental run-throughs. But despite being ready, I would still stumble. Then, I received valuable advice: ❌ Stop practicing like it’s a rehearsal. ✅ Start practicing like it's the real deal. Now, before any significant presentation, here's what I do: 1️⃣ I take a walk and deliver my talk out loud while in motion. 2️⃣ No script, no notes - just my voice, breath, and the rhythm of the sidewalk. This technique is known as Level 2 training. You move enough to elevate your heart rate, but not so much that you can't hold a conversation. It's the perfect balance where nerves meet practice. When the spotlight is on and the room falls silent, you're not in a calm space; You're in a performance state. Your body senses it - heightened heart rate, shorter breath, increased pressure. So, train as if you're in the actual game. Teach your body to remain composed even when your heart is racing. That's when your words flow effortlessly, and your mind stays focused. While most people rehearse for clarity, the best rehearse for pressure. What's one method you've adopted to keep yourself sharp under stress?

I’ve been a professional speaker and presentation skills coach for more than 20 years. And yes, sometimes my advice is “stand here” or “put your hands here” or “you need a better transition here.” But far more often, my work with clients is “put a more empowering mindset here” or “remember the skilled and seasoned professional you are here” or even “stop making up a terrible story about what could happen here”. That’s right: getting better at presenting your ideas is as much an inner game as outward. And if you have presentation anxiety — or even want to take your speaking skills from good to great — doing the inner work is the game changer. Here’s my new article in Harvard Business Review. #publicspeaking #presentationskills #anxiety #immunitytochange #mindset https://lnkd.in/ehaamuna

I never set out to be a public speaker but somewhere along the way it became a big part of my work. In that time, I've found a four-part framework that is effective for teaching in a memorable way. I call it the four S's. Most public talks start with some version of “It’s great to be here.” That’s exactly when people start checking out. If you want to speak in a way that actually sticks, try this instead. 1. Surprise Start strong. Say something unexpected, provocative, or even a little weird. The brain is wired to notice novelty—don’t waste the first 30 seconds on pleasantries. 2. Story Once you’ve got their attention, don’t give them a thesis—give them a tale. People think in narrative. Stories are how we’ve made sense of the world for thousands of years. 3. Stats Now that they’re leaning in, show them the receipts. Back your claims with data, studies, or vivid real-world examples. Credibility matters—but only after curiosity. 4. “So what?” Inspiration is nice, but application is better. End with a clear, compelling takeaway that answers the question: What should I do with this information today? Hope this framework helps a bit the next time you're asked to get in front of a crowd!

Is public speaking your worst nightmare? For many, the fear of public speaking ranks above the fear of death. Sounds dramatic, right? A couple of weeks ago, an employee asked for my advice on being less anxious and more confident on stage. There is no perfect formula that works for everyone, but I shared what helps me get more present and confident on stage. 1. Remember that the audience is rooting for you. People don’t go to talks hoping to be bored, they go hoping to learn something or to be entertained. If you see people who look like they are not paying attention, often that has more to do with them than with you. 2. Find happy faces and focus on them. There are usually some people in the crowd who are vibing with the talk. When you find them, focus on and deliver the talk to them. As an audience member, it’s hard to know who the speaker is talking to, and it can look weird if the speaker’s gaze is constantly darting around the room. 3. Stand confidently. The audience can sense your energy during the talk. If you are constantly pacing or shuffling, you can look uneasy, which can make you uneasy. Find a position that you feel confident in and own it. How you show up is who they will read your energy. 4. Make clarity your number one goal. It’s easy to set the expectations for yourself out of whack if you compare yourself to an entertainer. An audience can learn a lot from someone who might be nervous but who focuses on making their message as clear as possible. But if you go too far in the direction of entertaining and you don’t have a clear message, nerves can kill the whole talk. The more you build confidence in the clarity of your message, you will be more confident and able to add more jokes and personality. 5. Anxiety is a signal you care. It is normal to feel some nerves before a talk. It signals that you care about the audience and how the message will be received. When you harness that anxiety, it can ultimately drive you to do better and be more prepared, so try it use it that way instead of letting it shut you down. 6. Pick topics you care about. When picking the topic for your talk, find something you genuinely care about. It is very hard to give a great talk about something you don’t genuinely care about. When structuring a talk, focus on putting yourself in a position to speak genuinely about the topic. Bonus: If you are feeling confident and want to take your talk to the next level, you should think about the emotional arcs throughout your presentation. It’s more interesting to watch someone talk through the highs and the lows, than it is to hear only about the highs. Bring us on the journey of your story, or how you found your insights. This is just a start of how to up your presentation game. To my pros out there, what other advice have I missed? What would you say to someone who is starting to hit the talk circuit?

19 years ago, I used to get incredibly nervous before speaking on stage. Racing heart. Tunnel vision. Dry mouth. Today, half of my job is being on stage. Here’s my 7-step pre-stage checklist for how I conquered stage fright: (Before you step on the stage) Step 1: Set One Clear Intention Nerves often come from scattered thoughts.  So anchor your mind with a single, positive goal: • For a pitch: “Get the buyer to sign and stay firm on numbers.” • For a presentation: “Connect with the audience and deliver value.” Avoid negatives like “don’t mess up.” Your brain clings to “mess up.” — Step 2: Pick a Focal Point Choose a random spot in the back of the room (or bring a grounding object, like a pen). Right before you begin, mentally send all your nervous energy there. It gives your brain somewhere to “put” the anxiety - and frees you up to focus. — Step 3: Breathe Mindfully Most people shallow-breathe when they’re nervous. This just worsens anxiety. Do this instead: • Close your eyes • Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth • Push your belly out with each inhale (deep belly breathing) — Step 4: Release Muscle Tension Anxiety makes us clench everything - jaw, shoulders, stomach. This kills blood flow and increases anxiety. Instead, start at your head or toes and relax each muscle group with one breath: • Relax your face and eyes • Relax your jaw and neck • Loosen shoulders and chest • Relax arms and hands • Relax your stomach and abs • Continue down to your toes You’ll feel calmer and more grounded instantly. — Step 5: Find Your Center Before going on stage, shift your focus to a spot 2 inches below your belly button. This is your physical center - used by athletes and performers to stay grounded. As you breathe, imagine calm radiating from that point. During your talk, return to it anytime nerves creep in. It’s your internal anchor. — (While you’re on stage) Step 6: Repeat Your Process Cue This is your personal “how” mantra. • Interviewer: “Smile and ask great questions.” • Speaker: “Keep it warm and engaging.” • Performer: “Smooth and steady.” Keep repeating it silently throughout to stay focused and intentional. — Step 7: Direct Your Energy Feel the nerves rising? Don’t fight them - redirect them. Use your focal point from Step 2. Mentally “throw” your anxious energy toward it. It’s like dropping a heavy backpack: instant relief. __ Save this post and come back to it before your next big moment. Whether it's a presentation, interview, or performance, these steps will help you show up as your most confident, centered self.

"Stop calling meetings so you can simply organize your own thoughts with witnesses." - Amber Naslund 😂 Facilitators need to organize and create purposeful meetings, but it's equally important that you speak up! I know this can be intimidating for many of you. (it was for me as well) Here are 10 ways to speak up in your next meeting: (progressive steps to build your confidence) 1. Know the agenda: "I've reviewed the meeting topics..."   → Familiarize yourself with the meeting structure beforehand. 2. Prepare one talking point: "I have a thought on the second item..."   → Jot down a single idea you feel comfortable sharing. 3. Acknowledge others: "Thank you, [Name], for bringing that up."   → Start by simply showing you're engaged and listening. 4. Ask a clarifying question: "Could you elaborate on...?"   → Seek more information on a point someone else made. 5. Piggyback on ideas: "To add to [Name]'s point..."   → Build upon a colleague's contribution with a short comment. 6. Offer a brief experience: "I encountered something similar when..."   → Share a quick, relevant personal anecdote. 7. Summarize a discussion: "If I understand correctly, we're saying..."   → Recap a part of the conversation to ensure understanding. 8. Present prepared research: "I found some data on this topic..."   → Share a fact or statistic you've looked up in advance. 9. Suggest a small action item: "I could look into that for next time."   → Volunteer for a manageable task related to the discussion. 10. Express a thoughtful opinion: "From my perspective..."   → Share your own viewpoint on a topic, backing it with reasoning. TL;DR (try to speak up in the first 30 mins) 1. First meeting: Learn the agenda beforehand.    → Simply knowing what to expect can boost your comfort level. 2. Next meeting: Expand on someone else's thought.   → Try the "piggyback" technique: "Building on [Name]'s point..." 3. Following meeting: Introduce your own idea.   → Start small: "I had a thought about..." 4. Keep growing: Each meeting, challenge yourself to contribute a bit more.   → Progress from asking questions to sharing insights to leading discussions. For those who need to speak up, remember that confidence grows with practice. For those who facilitate meetings, I'll leave you with this: #aLITTLEadvice

Two things I do to get over nerves of a big presentation or a talk (like my first TEDx coming up) is to rehearse with photos of a crowd in front of me and to power through the entire presentation no matter what distractions happen. Before I had this little multi-monitor set up, I’d actually print photos of crowds and pin them up. There’s a strange but pretty realistic thing that happens when you do this. Like exposure therapy, this brings up very real emotions of what it actually feels like on stage. I’ve learned that I need a mix of photos: ✅ Central image of a crowd being a normal crowd right before you get started. It makes me take stock of the moment right before I start and my energy in the first 30 seconds. This makes or breaks whether people will engage with you. ✅ A side image of an engaged crowd. When I feel like I’m in rhythm, my eyes tend to go to this one more to simulate flow. ✅ A side image of a bored crowd. This one I glance at for two occasions. If I’m feeling lost or nervous, I’ll look at this image to practice getting back on track and back to the engaged audience. Or, if I’m still in a state of flow, I’ll practice NOT getting thrown off by people who appear disengaged. The second thing I do to improve my practice is that I complete my run through no matter what. 🟢 Kids knocking on my office door 🟢 Text message or phone going off 🟢 Dog barking at the Amazon delivery In every real presentation I’ve done, there is ALWAYS some unplanned distraction that comes up. You have to practice getting back on rhythm when sounds and movement distract you. A bonus tip: record yourself and then watch it back as if you were an audience member. Adopt the mindset of someone sitting in the audience and cue up their “What’s In It For Me?” moment. ➡️ I hope this is good ➡️ I need inspiration for ______ ➡️ The last speaker was great/not so great ➡️ A “dementia advocate” is speaking about the future and innovation? Why? The audience isn’t there for you. They are there for them (even when they’re there for you). Serve them. Speakers, what advice would you add for the week prior to your big engagement? Assuming you’ve got the rehearsal of content down, what’s your next focus and why? 👇🏼