Shifting narrative on women in professional spaces

When they call you a bitch, say thank you—thank you very much. This line from Olivia Gatwood’s poem Ode to the Women on Long Island has been my go-to mantra since I started my career in academia. I’d read my early teaching evaluations and feel awful. I was either not qualified to teach or too arrogant about my expertise. One student even set up a meeting to tell me this in person! Women faculty—especially in business schools—tend to get lower teaching ratings. Not because they’re worse teachers (plenty of research debunks that myth), but because of a very common form of gender bias: 👉 We don’t like women who are experts. Especially when they know they are experts. Women constantly face stereotypes that suggest they’re incompetent. Maybe you’ve heard these before: ·       Women are too emotional to be effective leaders. ·       Women lack the aptitude for STEM. ·       Women are too soft for the tough worlds of finance or law. This presumed incompetence means women often have to outperform men just to be seen as equally competent. But here’s the catch: When a woman is so good they can’t ignore her, she breaks that stereotype. And that makes people uncomfortable. Instead of admitting they were wrong, they shift the goalposts. That’s when the narrative changes: “She’s difficult to work with.” “She has an ego.” “She’s just not a team player.” The message is clear: Be competent, but not too competent. So what can women do about this? (With the caveat that I am loathe to tell women it is their responsibility to fix gender bias!) 💡 Find your allies—people who recognize your expertise and amplify your voice.  💡 Keep receipts—document your successes so you can push back when bias creeps in.  💡 But most importantly, stop softening your competence—own it. If someone calls you “difficult” because you’re great at what you do, that means you’ve already won the first battle. So, next time they try to shrink your expertise by denigrating your interpersonal style, remember to say: Thank you—thank you very much.

Here’s a story I recently heard from a woman executive coaching client, and my advice for her. I’m posting it here because I know it will resonate with many women. It’s a common challenge. “A colleague—someone who’s known me for decades—assumes he knows me inside out. His narrative? Built on fragments of ‘observations’, spun from threads of opinion and confirmation bias. In truth, what he “knows” about me wouldn’t fill a thimble.” 📌 Here's My Advice: 1. Empower Your Narrative: Define yourself by your truths, not by the stories others tell about you. Own your achievements and highlight your unique strengths. 2. Challenge Assumptions Actively: Engage in open dialogue to dismantle misconceptions. Use facts, figures, and results-driven narratives to underscore your professional identity. 3. Seek Allies: Cultivate a network of peers who understand your value and can support your vision. Collaboration with informed colleagues enhances credibility. 4. Stay Resilient: Opinions based on bias can echo in boardrooms, but resilience is key. Continue to show up with authenticity and confidence in your capabilities. 5. Mentor and Advocate: Influence change by mentoring the next generation of women leaders. Share experiences and educate others about the nuances of bias in professional settings. Remember, as women leaders, our stories deserve to be told accurately and with respect. Empower yourself, challenge biases, and shape your professional legacy on your terms. #WomenInLeadership #BreakingTheBias #Empowerment #ExecutiveLeadership #WomenInBusiness #LinkedInWisdom

"Black women aren't just doing their jobs. They're performing an exhausting one-woman show where the script changes daily." Let me break down what Black women navigate in professional spaces: We don't just choose our words. We filter them through a racial-gender matrix. We don't just speak. We modulate our tone to avoid the "angry" label. We don't just gesture. We control our hand movements to appear "non-threatening." We don't just dress. We calculate every outfit to seem "professional enough." We don't just style our hair. We make political decisions with each hairstyle. This isn't paranoia—it's strategic survival: When we speak directly, we're "aggressive" When we show emotion, we're "unprofessional" When we assert boundaries, we're "difficult" When we seek recognition, we're "entitled" When we express frustration, we're "hostile" The mental load is crushing: • Constantly scanning environments for potential hostility • Preparing responses to microaggressions before they happen • Developing thick skin while remaining "approachable" • Achieving twice as much while appearing humble • Advocating for ourselves without triggering stereotypes Research shows this hypervigilance takes a measurable toll: Black women experience higher rates of stress-related health conditions Black women report the highest levels of "bringing their full selves" to work Black women face the most severe career penalties for authentic self-expression Black women spend more mental energy on workplace navigation than any other group For those working alongside Black women, here are research-backed ways to help: 1. Amplify Black women's ideas and give proper credit 2. Interrupt when you witness tone-policing or stereotyping 3. Question double standards in evaluation and feedback 4. Create space for authentic expression without penalties 5. Recognise the invisible labour Black women perform daily 📢 When they expect us to carry the world, we choose rest 📢 The Black Woman's Rest Revolution offers: ✨ Black women therapists who understand workplace navigation ✨ Bi-weekly healing circles for processing code-switching fatigue ✨ Expert guidance through professional double standards ✨ Global sisterhood that honors our authentic selves Limited spots available Join our revolution: [Link in comments] ⚠️ Check your spam folder for confirmation Because we deserve workplaces where our expertise matters more than our tone. Because our brilliance shouldn't require constant repackaging. Because our professional value shouldn't depend on our likability. #BlackWomenAtWork #WorkplaceNavigation #ProfessionalAuthenticity #RestIsRevolution P.S. I help Black women heal from workplace abuse & racial trauma through revolutionary rest. 📸 Collaboration between Sarah_akinterwa & leaningorg on IG

What if you can’t see what you can be? “Now sit there darling, don’t climb that tree, why are you wearing those big boots? Make sure you find a rich man. Stop touching that, it’s dirty. Close your legs, you're not a boy. Your hair is short, you look like a boy…and the old classic "she's a right Tomboy." From birth, girls are labelled, guided, and often confined within societal expectations. With International Women’s Day’s theme this year being 'Inspire Inclusion,' it's absolutely gutting to see that in 2024, we still need to emphasise inclusion. I mean WTF? The journey toward equality starts early for women. It’s embarrassing and we need more allies. More humans coming together to change this. You only need to glance down the toy aisle in a shop to witness the subtle but shameful ways in which gender roles are reinforced. Yet, imagine the possibilities if we shifted this narrative. Let’s swap the aisles. I remember being that 9-year-old girl storming into the headteacher's office, demanding inclusion in the boys' football team, baffled that I was not allowed on the team for being a girl. Empowering young women early in their adult lives and careers is pivotal in breaking the cycle of inequality and so good for business. Education acts as a formidable tool, equipping women with the skills and confidence necessary to thrive in diverse professional landscapes and it’s what we do at digilearning I speak to so many young girls and change their view on what they think digital roles look like. I am living proof. Despite making it happen over the years, the statistics remain pretty crap. The gender pay gap persists at 14%– yup – so I have to work nearly two months of unpaid work for the average woman compared to her male counterpart. Are you having a laugh? Moreover, disabled women face a staggering 35% pay gap, reflecting a dire need for intersectional advocacy. Women receive 2% of VC funding, despite evidence showcasing the correlation between gender diversity in leadership and enhanced financial performance. Embracing diversity isn’t just morally sound; it's a strategic imperative. Companies with diverse leadership teams are proven to foster innovation and drive creativity, yielding up to a 20% increase in organisational performance and profits. Let’s just cut the talk… enough already. Time to ensure our young females can see what they can be. This year, let’s prioritise inspiring our young women to envision and pursue their full potential. Let’s dismantle the barriers that confine them within predetermined roles and instead cultivate an environment where their talents can flourish. Together, we can build a future where inclusion isn’t an aspiration but a lived reality. #IWD2024 #inspireinclusion

In my mission to empower #1MillionWomenBy2030 to sit at the table of their dreams, I hear stories of Black and Brown women facing toxic behaviors in the workplace far too often. One of my coaching clients recently stood up to a toxic, sexist sales leader, and in a heated moment, let her emotions get the best of her—putting her career and reputation at risk. We’ve all been there—facing prejudice, bias, and bullying. It’s frustrating, it’s exhausting, and it feels personal. But as women striving to break barriers and rise into leadership, how we handle these situations matters. And we CAN do it in ways that protect our careers and our dignity. Kamala Harris has shown us how to master this in public debates, but her approach offers valuable lessons for the workplace and boardroom, too. ➡️ Here are 5 powerful takeaways from Kamala’s approach that can help us navigate these challenges: 1️⃣ Stay Composed, Stay Powerful: When Kamala faces opposition, she doesn’t lose her cool. She remains calm, collected, and controlled—and that’s exactly how we own the room. When emotions take over, we give away our power. Hold onto yours by staying composed. 2️⃣ Shift the Story: Don’t let a toxic person define the moment. Reframe it by focusing on YOUR value and strength. You are more than their bias, their assumptions, or their behavior. You belong at the table—and you define your story. 3️⃣ Deflect With Grace: Kamala uses humor and calm deflection to shift the narrative. When faced with offensive comments, sometimes a smile or well-placed question is enough to disarm them. You don’t need to feed their fire—show them it’s not even worth your energy. 4️⃣ Address the Behavior with Precision: Call out toxic behavior, but do it wisely. Focus on the issue, not the person. This keeps the conversation professional and shifts the power in your favor. Strategic words can cut deeper than emotional outbursts. 5️⃣ Lead with Solutions: Kamala doesn’t just counter chaos—she presents herself as the alternative. In the workplace, we can lead by showing that WE are the solution, that professionalism and inclusivity drive results. This elevates us beyond the fray. To the women out there facing these battles every day: You are strong, you are capable, and you belong at the table. Don’t let anyone push you off your path. How we navigate these challenges isn’t just about today—it’s about the legacy we build for future generations of women leaders. What strategies have helped you rise above toxic workplace environments? Share your insights and let’s empower each other to keep breaking barriers. #WomenInLeadership #ExecutivePresence #CareerGrowth #LeadershipDevelopment #Sales

I recently coached an executive who was thinking hard about whether to ask for a promotion. She hesitated, caught between ambition and doubt. “I don’t want to seem pushy,” she admitted. “But if I don’t ask, I might be waiting forever.” I shared insights from a Harvard Business Review article that talks about the myths that often hold women back in negotiations. Many of us have been taught to believe that men negotiate more than women, that women must always negotiate pay, or that backlash is inevitable when they do. These myths are misleading and, worse, they reinforce outdated gender norms that limit opportunities. (1) Myth #1: Men Negotiate, Women Don’t Both men and women negotiate—but for different things. Research shows that women negotiate roles, flexibility, and workload as often as men negotiate pay and job offers. The real issue isn’t whether women negotiate, but whether they are met with more resistance when they do. (2) Myth #2: Women Should Always Negotiate Pay The gender wage gap is not just about pay differences—it’s about the types of jobs men and women hold. While women should absolutely advocate for fair pay, supporting their advancement into leadership roles has an even greater impact on closing the wage gap. (3) Myth #3: Backlash Is Inevitable Many women worry that advocating for themselves will make them seem aggressive or unlikeable. While bias exists, leaders can shift the narrative by educating managers and themselves, encouraging broader career negotiations (beyond pay), and normalizing women’s ambition. After talking through these myths and ideas, the executive decided to go ahead and ask for that promotion. But she didn’t just walk in and demand it. Instead, she framed her request strategically: She led with facts – She highlighted her results: “I’ve exceeded my targets for the past two years and led initiatives that were really beneficial to the firm.” (She backed this up with data and quantified the benefits.) She made it a win-win – “With a VP title, I can expand our client base and strengthen key partnerships.” She asked with confidence – Not “Would you consider it?” but “What would it take to make this happen?” She got the promotion. More importantly, she walked away feeling empowered, knowing she had advocated for herself effectively. We are in a unique moment where work is being redefined. If we want to create a more equitable future, we must challenge these outdated myths and reshape how we think about negotiation. #Leadership #Negotiation #CareerGrowth #WomenAtWork #Learning #Confidence https://lnkd.in/eZchz7jN

Will they hear what I say—or just how I say it? If you’ve ever asked yourself that before walking into a meeting or presenting your work,you’re not alone. As women in STEM, we often carry the invisible weight of needing to prove ourselves before we even begin. I’ve been there and here’s what I want you to know: 💡You are not imagining it. And you are not alone. But here’s how you can start shifting the dynamic: 1. Own your expertise. Say “I recommend…” instead of “I think…” You’ve done the work. Speak like it. 2. Stop over-explaining. You don’t owe anyone a thesis every time you present an idea. Be clear, be brief, and let your work speak. 3. Practice power pauses. Silence can be a tool. Say what you mean and let it land. 4. Build alliances. Find the people who amplify your voice in rooms you’re not in—and be that person for others. 5. Document your wins. Keep a running list of achievements, big or small. It’s not bragging. It’s your career logbook. And lastly, don’t shrink to fit a system that was never built for you. You’re not here to be “acceptable” you’re here to innovate, lead, and make space for the next generation. You’ve got this. And I’m cheering you on.

Being a woman in #cybersecurity is challenging enough. Add being a Muslim South Asian woman, and the challenges take on a whole new dimension. Often, I’m the only woman in the room and sometimes, I’m made to feel like I don’t belong there. Here are some microaggressions I’ve faced (or heard about from others): 🤦🏽♀️Do you really work in tech?” The surprise when I introduce myself as a cybersecurity professional is telling. It’s a reminder that many still don’t associate #women especially women like me who are visibly Muslim with this field. 👩🏽💻Assumptions about authority. In meetings, I’ve been mistaken for an non-tech person or someone in a support role, even when I’m leading the discussion. 🤝Being left out of informal networks. I’ve noticed how connections are often formed in after-work meetups or casual conversations where I’m not invited or don’t feel comfortable participating as I am the only women in the room. 🧕Questions about identity. Subtle comments like, “Your English is great!” or questions about my accent and hijab shift the focus from my expertise to my identity. Being the only woman in the room can feel isolating, but it’s also a chance to rewrite the narrative. Based on my not so pleasant experience here’s my advice to my fellow #womenintech especially cybersecurity. 👊🏽Own your space unapologetically. You earned your place at the table. 💁🏻♀️Build your squad—mentors, allies, and peers who uplift and empower you. 🗣️Speak up, even when your voice shakes. Your perspective is invaluable. Remember each time you overcome a challenge, you’re paving the way for someone else. The road isn’t easy, but we’re here to create a future where no one has to wonder if they belong in cybersecurity or any other space. If you’ve faced challenges like this, I’d love to hear your story.

The modern workplace is broken...and I'm not afraid to say it. Today, women face many unique challenges that often keep them from climbing the leadership ladder. I see ambitious, hardworking women all over the world encounter challenges such as: 🌟 Not knowing how to communicate their strengths and advocate for themselves. 🌟 Lack of confidence around the “how to’s” of being an excellent leader of people, especially larger corporations. 🌟 Imposter syndrome, stemming from outdated beliefs and the perpetual act of comparing themselves to others. 🌟 Challenges in their communications styles that have them feeling like they speak a totally different language than the men at work. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. I want to believe that workplaces will continue to evolve and get better. But until then, I believe that we all need to embrace the fact that women hold the key to creating real, long-lasting change in the workplace for the better. And it starts with getting CLEAR about what your leadership essence is, and then, being unapologetic in embodying it everywhere. You’ve probably heard the popular concept of “authentic leadership.” So much has been written in recent years about leadership presence and how to cultivate it in yourself. However, the inherent dilemma for women around expectations and what rising to the top “should” look like continues to plague those trying to apply these “authentic leadership” concepts. It’s a dizzying narrative that often confuses women and places unrealistic expectations on them - expectations that hardly feel authentic. Women are trained to believe that in order to move up in their leadership, they have to display the “right” professional identity and work style - one that “fits” with the (unrealistic) expectations set forth for them. And what this typically leads to are women trying to fit the traditional workplace mold. What I see time and time again in my work is women attempting to alter, repress, or hide some of the makings of their identity and restrain themselves just to meet these expectations and fit in. This “professional identity” female leaders are expected to embody in order to succeed is inherently inauthentic to most women - almost performative in nature. But that stops now. This picture was taken at a recent speaking engagement I delivered to over 200 people on being unapologetic about your authentic leadership style. And what I loved most from the opportunity was seeing so many women at different leadership levels being willing to ask themselves the tough questions about what leadership looks like and means to them. In my opinion, the more we lean into the hard questions about what we want, the less confusion and stuckness we experience about where we are going. And what's more, the less we feel the need to perform or be anything but ourselves.

Recently, I came across a post on Instagram that said “Career Women = Stupid Women.” To be honest, reading that made me pause. Not because it carries truth, but because it reflects how, in 2025, we are still battling outdated stereotypes and harmful narratives about women in the workforce. Let’s get this straight. Career women are not “stupid.” They are educated, capable, and resilient individuals who balance multiple roles at work, at home, and in society. Reducing them to such labels is not only disrespectful but also dangerous because it normalizes the idea that women should not aspire beyond traditional expectations. Here’s why this mindset needs to change: 1. Career Women Strengthen Economies Women who pursue careers contribute directly to national growth. According to global studies, higher female participation in the workforce boosts GDP, drives innovation, and strengthens industries. Calling them “stupid” ignores the measurable value they bring to society. 2. Independence is Empowerment, Not Arrogance Financial stability gives women the ability to make choices for themselves and their families without fear. It doesn’t mean they reject men or relationships, it simply means they bring strength and security to the table. Independence should be celebrated, not shamed. 3. Healthy Relationships Are Built on Respect A successful marriage or partnership is not about who provides more money, but about mutual trust, support, and respect. When a woman chooses to work, it doesn’t make her less of a partner,it makes her an equal partner. True love and respect are never threatened by ambition. 4. Breaking Stereotypes Inspires Generations When we uplift women in careers, we show younger girls that their dreams are valid, whether they want to be doctors, engineers, leaders, or entrepreneurs. Telling them that ambition makes them “stupid” only plants fear and limits progress. The truth is simple: A woman’s worth is not defined by whether she stays at home or chooses a career. Her worth is defined by her character, her integrity, and the way she contributes positively to the world. Instead of dragging women down with harsh words and outdated mindsets, let’s build a culture where women are respected for their choices, whether that choice is raising a family, pursuing a career, or doing both. Because when women rise, families rise, communities rise, and nations rise. Remember: Empowering women does not mean disempowering men. It means building a balanced society where both genders can thrive, support each other, and achieve more together. #RespectWomen #CareerWomen #GenderEquality #WorkplaceDiversity #Empowerment #Leadership #WomenInBusiness #BreakTheBias