How to Avoid Over-functioning as a Woman CEO

Time stops being your own the moment you become CEO. I remember taking over London radio station Kiss FM years ago. (The youthful demeanour in that photo didn’t last long 👶🏻 😂) In my first week as a CEO, my calendar filled up faster than a Glastonbury headline slot. Everyone wanted a catch-up or “just a quick word”. I spent so much time reacting to other people’s priorities that my real job - leading the company - got buried beneath the noise and it took me weeks to regain control of my own agenda. Here are four strategies that I still use today when I feel the outside world leaning in too far: 1. Turn your calendar into a fortress Block out “deep work” time every week for strategic thinking and high-impact work. Treat these blocks like your most important meetings. 2. Shrink your default meeting times Most meetings expand to fit the time they’re given. Set the calendar default to 30 minutes instead of an hour. You’ll be amazed at how much more productive they become. 3. Make stakeholders work for access Create clear communication rules with board members and investors. Regular updates are fine, but limit how often you’re available for drop-ins or last-minute calls. 4. Say no - without apology As CEO, your most powerful tool is focus. Politely but firmly decline anything that doesn’t align with your top priorities. Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s leadership. Master these, and you’ll feel a little less like the company’s busiest person - and a lot more like its most effective one.

🧾 The cost of being seen isn’t the same for everyone. For women, it’s a "Surchage" no one talks about. 👩 Take Ling, a regional sales director. When she speaks up in strategy meetings, she’s told to “be mindful of her tone.” When she stays quiet, she’s labeled “not strategic enough.” It’s not a leadership gap. It’s a cost-benefit calculation, rigged against her. 👩 Meet Rina, a product lead. She’s built three go-to-market launches. Each one a success. But when promotion time comes, her boss says: “You’re doing great. Let’s not disrupt the team dynamic.” Her competence became the excuse to keep her contained. 👩 And then there’s Julia, a COO candidate. She’s been asked to mentor the next generation of women leaders. But no one’s sponsoring her to be the next CEO. 👉 Because championing others is celebrated. Championing yourself gets complicated. But the problem is, the system charges women extra for the power move: • Speak up? Pay the “too aggressive” tax. • Stay humble? Pay the “forgettable” fee. • Stay silent? Pay with your career.    ⚙️ So how do you stop overpaying for power? You fix it by changing the cost structure. Here are 4 strategic power moves to change the terms: 1️⃣ 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲. Most women try to optimize for comfort: "How can I be visible without making anyone uncomfortable?" Wrong question. Ask: "What does this room need to believe about me to attach power to my name?" Then behave in a way that enforces that belief, consistently! 2️⃣ 𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗘𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁. Workhorses get thanked. Strategists get promoted. Shift the conversation from "how hard you worked" to "what changed because of you." Make people dependent on your thinking, not your labor. 3️⃣ 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁, 𝗕𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺. When women lead, people often don’t know how to process it. So they fill in the blanks, with assumptions. Don’t let the room guess. Tell them why you’re doing what you’re doing. Say 👉 "I’m recommending this because it moves us closer to the long-term goal." 👉 "I’m raising this because keeping quiet will cost us more later." 4️⃣ 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗼𝗼𝗺’𝘀 𝗠𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘆, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁. Decisions about you happen in rooms you’re not in. Those rooms won’t remember your to-do list, they’ll remember the shortcut version of you. Make sure the phrase people repeat about you is a power narrative, not a service narrative. Keen to own your narrative? 📅 Join our online workshop on July 24th 7:30 to 9pm SGT 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 👉 https://lnkd.in/gVT2Y59Q 👈 For women who are done paying extra just to be in the room. 👊 Because if you keep paying the power tax quietly, you’ll be subsidizing other people’s promotions forever.

If "having it all" means feeling like you're constantly falling short in every direction, then we need to talk. As a psychologist, I've sat with countless women who are absolutely crushing it on paper—CEO, founder, incredible mother, loving partner—yet are crumbling inside. They describe a relentless tug-of-war, a deep internal conflict between the roles they play. It's not just about time management. It's about identity fragmentation. Here’s the truth I often share: The Myth of the "Balanced" Woman Most women are not struggling to balance their roles; they are struggling to balance their 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 amidst their roles. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 "𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥" 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐩: For many, the drive to excel in every role comes from an old, unconscious belief: "I must be everything to everyone to be worthy." This isn't ambition. This is a subtle form of self-abandonment. 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐜𝐤-𝐚-𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐞: You try to be the strategic leader at work, the patient parent at home, the supportive friend, the passionate lover. But each role demands a different emotional posture, a different energy. And when one aspect of you rises, another feels neglected. This isn't a failure of effort; it's a failure of integration. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝: You carry an internal scorecard, meticulously tracking perceived failures and successes in each domain. A late email, a missed school event, a forgotten anniversary—each is a strike against your self-worth, deepening the internal schism. The Path to Integration, Not Just Balance Instead of chasing an elusive "balance," consider focusing on 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬: What truly matters to 𝘺𝘰𝘶? Not what society, family, or your industry dictates. When your actions align with your core values, the internal conflict lessens. 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬: Your "work self" needs to be able to feel frustration. Your "mom self" needs to acknowledge exhaustion. Suppressing emotions in one domain only leads to them erupting elsewhere. Emotional literacy means allowing 𝘢𝘭𝘭 of you to be present, appropriately. 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞: Stop compartmentalizing so rigidly. Can you bring a part of your strategic brilliance to parenting? Can your compassionate self show up in leadership? The goal isn't to perfectly divide your hours, but to bring your whole, authentic self to whatever you are doing. You are not a collection of separate personas. You are one complex, magnificent woman with diverse capacities. The struggle is real, but the solution isn't to try harder to "balance" an impossible ideal. It's to stop the internal fight and lead with ruthless self-respect. What if your wholeness was the most powerful asset you possess? #WomenInLeadership #MentalHealth #Boundaries #SelfWorth #EmotionalIntelligence

Feeling a little overwhelmed? Or maybe more than a little? 😉 I see it firsthand with many of the CEOs and leadership teams I work with. However, it doesn't have to be that way! Dave Kerpen shared a powerful insight in our Partnering Leadership conversation: every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else. Every "yes" comes at the expense of your time, energy, and focus. So, be intentional about your time and prioritize what's truly important. I work with a CEO who has a high community profile and is constantly invited to attend events, speak on panels, and participate on boards. Initially, she felt compelled to say yes to everything, fearing she might miss out on significant opportunities or let people down. The pressure was immense, and it took a toll on her well-being. 😞 We discussed the fear of missing out (FOMO) and the guilt of saying no. It wasn’t easy, but she realized that saying no to demands that fall outside her priorities was essential to avoid overcommitment and burnout. This was a turning point. 😊 At first, saying no felt almost impossible. She worried about disappointing others and missing out. But with time, support, and a solid strategy, she began to see the benefits. Now, with a clearer focus on her priorities, she makes more impactful decisions and has found a better work-life balance. She no longer teeters on the edge of burnout but feels empowered and in control of her life and career. I've seen many leaders burn out trying to do all the right things. 👀 They say yes to every opportunity, request, and meeting. In the process, they neglect their highest priorities and, most importantly, their own well-being. It's not about doing more; it's about doing what matters most. 💡 When you prioritize effectively, you create space for what truly drives success and fulfillment. This often means making tough choices and setting boundaries, but it's essential for sustainable leadership. How do you ensure you stick to your priorities and say no to things that don't fully align with them? 🤔 #partneringleadership #leadership Strategic Leadership Ventures #management #strategy #culture #collaboration #prioritization

People-pleasing isn’t a leadership skill. High-achieving women often look like they have it all together. But behind the polished execution and stacked accomplishments… They’re stuck in a loop no one’s talking about. It’s not leadership. It’s performance. Here’s how it shows up: → You’re the go-to for everything — but you’re running on fumes. → You’re praised for results — but secretly resent the pressure. → You’re leading meetings — but not saying what you really think. Sound familiar? Here’s why it’s happening: As women, we’re rewarded for performance early. Do more. Please everyone. Deliver perfectly. Don’t ask for too much. And when we succeed, the cycle deepens. Because now we’re not just workers. We’re leaders. But here’s the problem: If your leadership depends on overextending, overachieving, and overexplaining — It’s not sustainable. And it’s not real leadership. Leadership starts with alignment. Not output. Here’s how to move from performance to purpose: 1. Audit your “yes.” → How often are you agreeing out of obligation? → Who benefits from your silence — and at what cost? Boundaries build clarity. Clarity builds trust. 2. Detach from being liked. → Being respected doesn’t always mean being agreeable. → Leadership will disappoint people. And that’s okay. Stop performing. Start leading. 3. Ask: What would I do if I wasn’t afraid of judgment? → That answer? It’s the one aligned with your growth. → That’s the version of you your team actually needs. Performance isn’t strength. It’s fear dressed up as achievement. And when you lead from fear, you teach others to do the same. So ask yourself: Are you building trust — or just staying liked? Are you making an impact — or staying busy? One drives growth. The other drains it. Let’s stop over-performing for roles we’ve already outgrown. And let’s start leading from a place of power. Follow me → Lindsey Schiel for more human, honest leadership.

When my girls asked me years ago, "Mom, when will you be done with work?" my heart sank. At the time, I was a newly single mom, working two jobs, and juggling work on my laptop as I made dinner. It opened my eyes. I had a good reason to work my tail off, but I had two better reasons looking back at me and asking me for more of my time. My girls needed me to provide AND be available, and I had to figure out how to do it. My journey from single motherhood and long work hours to becoming CEO of BELAY has been a growing process, and I've figured out best practices along the way. Are you over-worked, over-busy, and overextended? Do you want to show up for your company AND your family every single day without letting "life" and balance fall through the cracks?' If so, I see you. The first four key strategies I implemented to regain control over time: ➡️ I stopped working nights and weekends ➡️ I hired my own virtual assistant for delegation ➡️ I conducted a time study to identify my inefficiencies ➡️ I improved communication and meeting management If you don't know where to start, start here. Set boundaries, bring on help, manage your time more wisely, and communicate clearly so you're not wasting time retracing steps. #leadershiptips #leadershipmindset #delegation #success #businessgrowth #worklifebalance

When I was in corporate, we'd promote people from high achiever to leader and assume a magic transformation would happen - that they'd suddenly feel comfortable delegating, coaching and watching others struggle without stepping in. Today I led about 150 women (virtually) from the Women in Electronics organization through four key tools to shift from high achiever to strategic leader. Here’s some strategies to make the shift: ▫️Notice your payoff from doing. The thrill of achievement provides a quick dopamine hit (helper’s high!). But that’s something you need to resist to get to the greater fulfillment of patiently coaching others to improve. ▫️Get out of the overwhelm cycle It’s hard to build sustainable confidence if you are overworked and overwhelmed. Ask yourself: Am I overwhelmed because it’s just easier and quicker to do it myself? What low-stakes tasks can I delegate where it’s okay for people to make (and learn) from mistakes? ▫️Stop overusing empathy. Being an empathetic leader is a key skill! But overusing empathy to the point we rush in and protect and save our team from disappointments and challenges is overusing empathy to the point of being disempowering. Can you be comfortable with allowing them to struggle a bit as they learn something new? Remember, when you overfunction, you allow others around you to underfunction. #womenleaders #confidence #careers #leadershipdevelopment

Things I Had to Unlearn as a Woman CEO Early on in my role as CEO, I had a lot of assumptions about how I should lead. Some of them still serve me—while others I had to unlearn them fast. Here’s my list of what I had to shake: // Overexplaining everything. I used to catch myself justifying every decision in excruciating detail. Turns out, confidence is more efficient. // Needing consensus to make decisions. There’s a time for collaboration, and there’s a time to just decide. If you wait for full buy-in on everything, you’ll move at half-speed. // Delegating without guilt. Being hands-on can quickly turn into becoming a bottleneck. Learning to hand things off—without feeling bad about it—made me a better leader. //Thinking being likable = being effective. The goal isn’t to be the most well-liked person in the room. It’s to build something that *actually* matters.