How to Stay True to Your Values at Work

I never encourage people to stay where they are being harmed. So if you can leave, make that move! However, if you can't immediately do so, or you’re in the hallway waiting for the next door to open, here’s what you can do: 1. Elevate your emotional intelligence even if that of your manager is low. You don't have to lower yours. You can still lead without the title. High emotional intelligence isn’t reserved for people managers. Your actions and attitude can inspire others, regardless of your position. Use your voice. Speak up to be added to projects and do your research on professional development courses or conferences you'd like to participate in.🗣️ 2. Advocating for yourself is crucial in any career. Don't be afraid to express your interest. Researching and being well-prepared shows your commitment and dedication to your growth, which can be appreciated by your superiors…or recruiters. 3. Avoid the gossip. Create your boundaries and maintain them. Office gossip can be tempting, but it rarely leads to anything positive. Dodging the dissing will maintain your integrity and build a reputation as someone who is trustworthy and professional. And when you leave, you can leave with your hands and mind clean. 4. Journal to release and document to defend. Keeping a journal can be a powerful tool for managing stress and documenting your experiences at work. Use it to release your emotions. It can also serve as a record of your accomplishments and interactions, which can be handy when it comes time for performance reviews or addressing workplace issues. 5. Find a therapist if you can—process work issues outside of work. Work-related stress and challenges can take a toll on your mental well-being. Seeking therapy is a proactive step to ensure you have a safe and confidential space to discuss your concerns, manage stress, and develop coping strategies. I tell all my clients to prioritize their well-being over everything. And that they have more power and agency than they know. Be strategic with how you practice self-care around work. Toxic workplaces can really do a number on you. Know your limits. Drop a 💡 if you found these helpful.

Punching Through the Barrier I’ve learned through my career that one of the toughest challenges within the workplace is navigating the ever-changing dynamics of teams, roles, and leadership. It’s incredible how fleeting those perfect situations - where you love your job, your division, your role, or your colleagues - can be. Groups change, colleagues leave, and perhaps most significantly, bosses and mandates shift. What once felt comfortable and energizing can suddenly become complicated and even discouraging. This brings me to an essential concept I call “punching through the barrier.” Many of us will encounter managers or situations that become difficult, perhaps even hostile. These aren't necessarily HR-level issues but rather those everyday workplace challenges that can make your job feel draining. I've found that, rather than being surprised when these situations arise, it's more productive to anticipate them as a natural part of the working experience. In fact, I've come to realize that it's more of a treat than the rule to have consistently easy and comfortable working environments. The key to surviving - and thriving - through these tough situations lies in grounding yourself in a realistic self-image. Remember your strengths, your past successes, and the value you bring to your work. It's easy to feel undermined by a difficult manager or a toxic environment, but you are not skillless or incompetent. You are the same person who succeeded in previous roles. Too often, people frame these challenging situations as opportunities for growth or a test of your resilience. But let's be honest: sometimes, you're just dealing with a poor manager or a bad situation that has nothing to do with your abilities or growth. Recognizing this isn't about developing a tough skin or merely enduring it; it's about maintaining your even keel and not allowing a negative work environment to impact your self-worth or, more importantly, your life outside of work. So, what’s the real point of all this work? For me, it’s not about working just for work's sake or making my job the central purpose of my life. The main purpose is to be a positive influence and role model for my partner, my family, and my kids. Letting a negative workplace drag me down isn’t just a disservice to myself - it affects everyone in my orbit. This mindset shift - seeing tough situations as predictable bumps in the road rather than personal failures - has made a world of difference for me. It makes these challenges easier to manage and helps me stay focused on what truly matters in life. Stay grounded, stay positive, and keep punching through.

It has taken me a long time to recover from an extremely toxic work environment led by one of the most toxic people I have ever met. Toxic bosses don’t just micromanage your work; they manipulate your confidence. And the most dangerous part? They make you and others believe the lies they plant about your abilities. But here’s the truth: You are not the problem. A toxic individual will try to shrink you so they can feel bigger. They take credit for your work, lead with fear, and act like they’re the smartest person in the room. They constantly change priorities, creating confusion and decision fatigue. They shut down feedback, deflect blame, and refuse to problem-solve. They have convinced decision makers around them that they are the only one with answers! And worst of all? They make you doubt yourself to the point that leaving feels like your only option. But what I have learned is that my value isn’t defined by someone else’s insecurities. The moment you recognize the pattern, you regain power. Step back and see it for what it is: manipulation, not reality. Reach out to people who see the real you. Reconnect with the accomplishments and strengths that brought you to this point in your life. People don’t just leave organizations they love. You owe it to yourself to work in a space where you are respected, not diminished. Good leaders challenge you to grow — they don’t break you down to build up their own ego. So, stand tall. Remember who you are. And don’t give them the satisfaction of rewriting your story. Your worth is not up for debate.