Best Practices for Communicating with a Difficult Team

How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers 👇 I've worked with some challenging people in my career... and honestly? Each one took a big toll on me. Sometimes it was a client... Sometimes a coworker... And sometimes my manager. Toxic work environments can be out of our control - you just can't predict who you'll work with, no matter how much you research a job in advance. But with the right approach, you CAN improve your situation. ➡️ DON'T PLAY THE VICTIM — EVEN IF YOU ARE ONE Your job is to make your manager's life easier — not harder. Complaining without a solution shows poor leadership and signals you can't solve problems independently. Take responsibility and start solving the problem yourself. This mindset shift alone can dramatically change outcomes. ➡️ NOTHING WILL CHANGE UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING The other person may not even know there's a problem, or they don't have enough reason to change. Speak up in a private, non-combative way: "I work best when..." or "It's challenging for me when..." Attack the problem, not the person. One conversation can transform a relationship that's been difficult for months. ➡️ GIVE DIRECT BUT RESPECTFUL FEEDBACK Pick a 1:1, a check-in, or ask for a meeting. Keep it calm, constructive, and focused on collaboration. You're not confronting — you're informing and improving. Frame it as a joint effort to create a better working relationship. ➡️ PROTECT YOUR REPUTATION If the situation might impact your image, notify your manager. Let them know you're working on it and will update them. This protects you from having your reputation damaged if the wrong story gets out. It shows maturity and leadership under pressure. ➡️ STAY PROFESSIONAL — ALWAYS Matching disrespect with disrespect only fuels the fire. They'll use your reaction as ammunition to continue their behavior or claim you're being unprofessional. Don't stoop to their level. Stay calm, stay sharp. When they go low, you go high. ➡️ BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE When you feel mistreated, take notes on what specifically bothers you. Use it to guide how you will treat others someday when you're in a position of authority. Great leaders don't repeat bad management — they learn from it. Managing people is genuinely hard - balancing praise with constructive feedback takes skill. ➡️ DON'T FIX IT FOR OTHERS — HELP THEM FIX IT THEMSELVES If someone comes to you with a coworker problem, listen. But instead of solving it for them, empower them to act. Teach them how to handle it — that's true leadership. As the saying goes, give someone a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them to fish and you feed them for a lifetime. === Sometimes, despite your best efforts, there's no fixing a toxic environment. Know when it's time to move departments or jobs. I'm a big believer that who you work with matters as much as what you do. What strategies have worked for you when dealing with difficult coworkers? Drop your thoughts below 👇

As leaders, we often have to deal with more than just managing projects...we have to manage people, and not all of them are easy to work with 👀 Whether it’s a toxic colleague, a difficult client, or someone who thrives on conflict, these situations can derail progress if you’re not equipped to handle them effectively... 🟠 One technique to help you with this is the D.E.E.P technique. ➡️This communication strategy helps you stay composed, set boundaries, and avoid getting pulled into unnecessary conflict. ❊ 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆: 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗻𝗱: When you’re dealing with someone who’s pushing your buttons—especially a toxic personality—resist the urge to defend yourself. In the workplace, defending every decision or action often just fuels the fire. Remember, toxic individuals often don’t care about your reasoning; they care about controlling the conversation. As a leader, your energy is better spent on moving the team forward, not justifying every move. Practice detachment and stay focused on your bigger goals. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗮𝗴𝗲: Difficult personalities thrive on drawing you into their chaos. It’s easy to get pulled into emotional battles, especially if it feels personal. But as a leader, you need to take a step back and ask yourself: Is engaging with this person productive, or is it a drain on my energy? Often, disengagement—keeping responses minimal and factual—takes away the power they have over you. By not engaging emotionally, you keep the conversation focused on solutions, not drama. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻: It’s tempting to over-explain yourself, especially if you’re someone who values fairness and clarity. But toxic individuals usually aren’t looking for understanding; they’re looking for control. Over-explaining only feeds that need. Keep your responses clear, direct, and to the point. You don’t owe anyone a lengthy justification, especially when your leadership decisions are based on sound judgment. 🔹 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲: One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a leader is that not everything is about me. It can feel personal when someone’s being difficult, but toxic behavior often has more to do with the person causing it than the person on the receiving end. Don’t take it personally. Detach from their negativity, and remember: your leadership is defined by how you manage these situations, not by their opinion of you. •••••• The more time you spend defending, engaging, and explaining, the less time you actually spend leading effectively. Ultimately, leadership 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗴𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁; it’s about knowing which battles are worth your energy and which aren’t. Difficult personalities will always exist, but they don’t have to shake your leadership 🙏🏻

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.