Building professional alliances as the only woman in the room

How to (female) Diplomat: Navigating Male-Dominated Spaces (Without Losing Your Dignity, Self Respect and Authenticity) A very senior ambassador once threw a top secret briefing on the ground in front of me—fully expecting I’d pick it up. A calculated power move, dressed up as carelessness. I let it lie there. After all, his arms weren’t broken. Instead, I met his eyes and said, “I think you dropped something, Ambassador.” Then waited. Silence. Eventually, he bent down and picked it up. I realised something that day: Some people test you just to see if they can. And if you play along, they’ll keep pushing the boundary. I’ve spent years being the only woman in the room – whether in the army or diplomacy. Sometimes the youngest, too. And often, the only one not trying to prove I belonged by mimicking the men around me. Because here’s the real power move: 𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. Trying to blend in might feel like the safest option, but in diplomacy or business, it’s your differences that make you effective. So, if you find yourself in a room where the rules weren’t written with you in mind, try this: 1️⃣ 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 Ever notice how some men tend to take up space—physically, vocally, and in decision-making? Don’t shrink. Take the seat at the table. Speak first if you have something valuable to say. → 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘃𝗼𝗹𝘂𝗺𝗲; 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 2️⃣ 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲 I once watched a male colleague dismiss a female diplomat’s input in a negotiation—only for him to miraculously propose the same idea 15 minutes later. Instead of calling it out directly, she let him own it and subtly reinforced the idea so it stuck. The win mattered more than the credit. Every single person in that room knew where the credit lay. → 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗴𝗼. 3️⃣ 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 Not everyone in the room wants to see you succeed. But some do. Spot the quiet power brokers—the ones who influence decisions without being the loudest. → 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀. Some of your best allies might be men. 4️⃣ 𝗙𝗹𝗶𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁 𝗼𝗻 “𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆” Ever been told you’re too direct? Or not assertive enough? Too friendly. Or not friendly enough. The double bind is real. But instead of playing an impossible game, reframe it: →𝗗𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝗲? 𝗗𝗼 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳? If the answer is yes, likeability is a bonus, not the goal. 5️⃣ 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀—𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 Whether it’s a demeaning “joke,” being interrupted, a door deliberately slammed in your face—set the boundary. Then hold it. Because the moment you don’t, they’ll push it further. 💡 You don’t need to be louder, tougher, or “one of the guys.” You just need to be strategic about how you show up. What’s worked for you in male-dominated spaces? Let’s share the playbook. 👇

Navigating Solo Business Trips in a Male-Dominated Industry: Challenges and Strategies 🧳💼 As a professional in the pump engineering sector, a field predominantly occupied by men, solo business trips present unique challenges. These trips are essential for knowledge exchange, networking, and driving projects forward. However, they can also be a litmus test for diversity, equality, and inclusion in our industry. 👥🌍 1. Overcoming Preconceptions: In male-dominated fields, there's often an unconscious bias that can surface during interactions. Being the only woman in meetings or at industry events can lead to being underestimated or overlooked. It's important to assert your expertise and contributions confidently. Sharing insights in industry publications, like 'Empowering Pumps and Systems' magazine, can help establish your authority before you even step into the room. 💪📚 2. Networking Nuances: Networking is a cornerstone of business trips, but the dynamics can be different for women. There's a fine line between professional camaraderie and unwanted attention. To navigate this, focus on building a network based on mutual professional respect and shared interests. Engage in discussions on platforms like 'Empowering Women in Industry', creating connections that are professional and empowering. 🤝🗣️ 3. Safety and Comfort: Safety is a paramount concern. Research your destination, choose accommodations in safe areas, and be aware of cultural norms, especially when traveling internationally. Carry necessary contact information and stay connected with your team back home. 🌐🔒 4. Balancing Assertiveness and Approachability: Being assertive is key in establishing your presence, but it's equally important to be approachable and collaborative. Striking this balance demonstrates leadership qualities and fosters a respectful professional environment. ⚖️🤗 5. Dealing with Isolation: Solo trips can be isolating. To combat this, reach out to local colleagues or connections you've made through industry networks. Engaging with local chapters of professional societies can also provide a sense of community. 🌟🤝 6. Representing Diversity: As a woman in a male-dominated industry, your presence on business trips also represents the progress towards diversity and inclusion. Your success and professionalism can challenge stereotypes and inspire other women considering careers in STEM fields. 🚀👩🔬 Solo business trips in a male-dominated industry are more than just logistical endeavors; they are opportunities to break barriers and foster a more inclusive professional environment. By embracing these challenges with confidence and strategic networking, we not only contribute to our personal growth but also pave the way for greater gender diversity in our industries. 🌈💪 Let's keep breaking barriers and paving the way for more gender diversity in our industry! #Engineering #WomenInSTEM #Diversity #EmpoweringWomen #NetworkingStrategies #STEM #WomenInWater

Being the only woman in the room can take a significant toll, and it's not easy to fully grasp this until you've experienced it. But it's also tempting to get caught up in this dynamic, dwell on it too much, and lose yourself, ultimately turning what could be a unique advantage into either a burden or a shortcoming. As someone who is frequently in this situation, I can absolutely empathize. Self-doubt and fear of the unknown are very real. How do you prove to others that you belong there and deserve their respect, investment, or support? There's really no such thing as being over-prepared for these situations. I recently attended a meeting for which I had clearly over-prepared. Despite knowing I was overthinking it, the extensive preparation proved beneficial when I found myself as the only woman at the table. Early in this career, I was less confident speaking up in meetings, worried that my ideas might be dismissed. Soon enough, I started working with men who, through their actions and the way they treated me, reaffirmed that I belonged in the room, and my gender had nothing to do with it. As a result, gradually, I contributed more. While some ideas were immediately shot down, a few others were embraced and even implemented. Some colleagues saw my value and asked for feedback. Others asked me to refine my ideas and come back the next day. Instead of taking it personally, I understood this was part of the professional landscape. It's work—not personal, and I've come to embrace this fact, even when it's a tough one to accept. When you connect with people in the workplace who make you feel comfortable and confident, make an effort to build those relationships—and appreciate those who challenge you. I've learned to seize these opportunities and grow from them. Some people may patronize you, even unintentionally, while others will treat you as an equal. In the end, it's what you take away from the experience that counts, not just what you bring to the room. Whether you're the only woman in a room full of men or in the majority, always strive to do your best, find allies wherever you can, and look for opportunities to collaborate. Building alliances isn't just about attending networking events; it's about working with others and proving you're more than just the only woman in the room or, for a change, one of many females around the same conference table. You're more than a mere % of a company's annual quota. #womenasleaders #theonlywomanatthetable #GirlPower

If women are to thrive in business, male allies aren’t optional, they’re essential. I’ve written often about what it takes to lead when you’re the only woman in the room—the grit, the clarity, the resilience required to keep showing up and rising. But equally important to recognize is this: my success has also been shaped by the support of male allies who saw my potential and helped create space for it to grow. In fact: 🔹 Companies with greater gender diversity in leadership outperform peers by up to 25% (McKinsey). 🔹 Yet men still hold the majority of leadership roles across industries. 🔹 That makes allyship not just valuable but vital. Real allyship shows up as: ✅ Sponsoring, not just mentoring ✅ Making space at the table, not just inviting you to listen ✅ Giving credit publicly and offering challenge privately ✅ Speaking up when silence is easier I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have male allies who did all of that and more: Donald Donovan, Mike Prout, John Clark, Joseph Farbo, Rajeeb Hazra, Max Heineman, Ananth Silva, and Tom Costarino Each of you showed up not just in words, but in meaningful action. You advocated for me when I wasn’t in the room. You pushed me to go further. You helped make the rooms more equitable. I’m deeply grateful. To the men who choose to open doors rather than guard them: thank you. You’re part of the progress. To the women navigating rooms where they’re still the “only”: you don’t have to do it alone. Here are a few key steps to building strong male allies: 🔹 Look for alignment, not perfection. Seek out men who lead with integrity, listen with curiosity, and advocate for others not just themselves. 🔹 Start the conversation. Share your goals. Ask for their perspective. Invite them into your growth, not just your gratitude. 🔹 Be clear about what support looks like. Whether it’s sponsorship, amplification, or honest feedback, clarity strengthens allyship. 🔹 Mutual respect is the foundation. The best ally relationships are built on shared trust, accountability, and a willingness to grow together. Allyship isn’t a title, it’s a practice. And together, we rise.

I’ve walked into boardrooms, investment meetings, and industry events where I was the only woman at the table.Sometimes, the only woman in the entire room. At first, it was intimidating. The unspoken doubts, the second glances, the subconscious bias. The assumption that I was either someone’s assistant or that I didn’t belong in the conversation. I felt the pressure to prove myself twice as much, speak twice as carefully, and succeed twice as fast. Imposter syndrome whispered, “Are you sure you belong here?” But here’s what I’ve learned: 1. Expertise speaks louder than stereotypes. The moment you start leading conversations with clarity and confidence, perceptions shift. 2. You don’t need to shrink yourself to fit in. Your perspective, experience, and leadership add value—don’t downplay them to make others comfortable. 3. Bias exists—but so does impact. The best way to change the narrative is to show up, take space, and redefine the norm for the women who come next. I no longer question if I belong in these rooms. I do. And if there isn’t a seat at the table? I bring my own chair. To every woman navigating male-dominated spaces: You’re not alone, and you are more than enough.