Building a Network Without Feeling Fake

This sounds like networking fluff, right? "Opening new doors with every connection." Wrong. Let me tell you about a guy named James. The same James who changed my life with 9 words over coffee. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Year 5 of my business. I was drowning. → $500 projects → 70-hour weeks → Zero boundaries → Nightmare clients I was at a conference I couldn't afford. Sitting alone at lunch because networking felt fake. This guy sits down next to me. "You look like I did 10 years ago," he said. That was James. We talked for 20 minutes. Not about business cards. Not about what we could do for each other. Not about our LinkedIn connections. Just two humans being real about the struggle. At the end, he said: "Coffee tomorrow? 7am. My treat." That coffee changed everything. Not because James became a client. Not because he referred business. Not because he had 50K followers. Because he saw something in me I couldn't see yet. And he introduced me to Rachel. Rachel introduced me to Marcus. Marcus became my first $50K client. Here's the deal on REAL networking: It's not about collecting connections. It's about creating collisions. The Collision Principle: Every real relationship creates unexpected intersections. James → Rachel → Marcus → $50K client Coffee → Conversation → Introduction → Transformation You can't plan it. You can't force it. You can't optimize it. You can only be open to it. Here's what I've learned about opening doors: 1. The best connections happen when you're not trying I met my co-founder in Brand Built through: → A random comment thread → A shared frustration → Zero agenda Now we're building something that matters. 2. Depth beats width every time I know people with 30K connections who can't fill a webinar. I know people with 300 connections who close 7 figures. The difference? One collects. The other connects. 3. The most valuable introductions are unexpected My biggest client came from my accountant. My best partnership came from a competitor. My favorite mentor came from a wrong number. None of it was "strategic networking." 4. Real relationships compound invisibly That coffee with James was 13 years ago. Since then: → 12 people I've helped because of what he taught me → 6 of them have become long-term clients → 1 became my business partner → 3 have become close friends All from 20 minutes at a conference lunch table. The framework I use now: Stop networking. Start noticing. → Who's struggling with something you've solved? → Who energizes you when you talk? → Who sees the world differently? → Who makes you think deeper? Stop pitching. Start asking. "What are you working on?" "What's the hardest part?" "Who should you know?" "How can I help?" Stop collecting. Start connecting.

Most people think networking success is about being naturally extroverted. They're wrong. I kept trying to make connections at networking events of 1,000 people. It didn't work. I felt drained and I wasn’t good at it. I also had no interest. I was worried. Client development felt out of reach. And it seemed like being an introvert would hold me back. Then I had lunch with an accountant I met through LinkedIn. One on one. We hit it off and he started referring clients immediately.    I then realized that networking isn't about being an extrovert—it's a skill. And skills can be mastered. So here are 3 things that help me succeed at networking—without pretending to be someone I'm not: 1. I replaced small talk with substance.     I asked real questions. I showed genuine interest in others’ experiences. I also shared parts of my own story. That turned stiff conversations into ones I actually enjoyed. 2. I abandoned large networking events for one-on-one conversations.     I don't want to “work the room” in a group of 1,000 people, so why even put myself in that situation? Coffee, lunch, and phone calls worked just as well. 3. I stopped overthinking it all.     I was in my head during those conversations. When I stopped analyzing the discussion and instead started trying to understand the person, I made better connections. I used each conversation to make the other person feel understood. And then, I'd make sure to do one more thing: Follow Through. When someone mentioned they were starting a new job, I'd check in a few weeks later. It was a small gesture, but it built trust. Since making those changes, I’ve gotten better at opening up. It's helped turn superficial conversations into real connections. If you feel like you “don’t have the personality for networking," I hear you. But you don't need a new personality. You just need to be yourself.

I was recently at an event with a group of professional speakers. Perhaps surprisingly, almost all of us were introverts. Getting up on stage and delivering a keynote? Totally calm. What *really* provokes my anxiety: walking into a crowded room where I don’t know a single person. I hate that feeling so much that years ago, I vowed I’d never again go to a big “networking event.” Instead, I follow a few strategies that make life easier as an introvert who still wants — and needs — to meet interesting people and make business connections: 1)  Host instead of attend — Organize small dinners or gatherings. It flips the dynamic: people come to you. 2)  Leverage 1:1s — Reach out in advance to meet someone for coffee instead of “working the room.” 3) Leverage other events — Invite someone you want to know to join you at a talk, performance, or workshop. For more practical strategies to connect without burnout: ·              Join my newsletter: dorieclark.com/subscribe ·              Share your go-to networking tips below ·              Repost this to help other introverts

Traditional networking is broken. It is loud, draining, and simply not as effective. Flip the script. Make networking not just effective, but fun. ❌ You do not need to play their game. As an introvert, you already have the edge. You create deeper, more meaningful connections. ✅ You just need to lean into what works for you. Here is your guide to building a powerful network; on your terms. 1️⃣ Find meaningful moments. Skip the noisy crowd. Where do real connections happen? In calm spaces, with approachable people. Shared interests? A quiet energy? That’s your person. 2️⃣ Focus on one great connection. Do you really need to meet everyone? One real conversation beats ten surface chats. Look for someone curious or engaged. That is where the value lies. 3️⃣ Set your own rules. Who says you have to stay all night? Decide how long you want to be there. Pick how many people you want to meet. Protect your energy. It is yours to manage. 4️⃣ Take recharge breaks. Feeling drained? Step away. Find a quiet corner or head outside. Breathe. Reset. Then come back stronger. 5️⃣ Bring a wingperson. Why do it alone if you do not have to? Go with someone who knows you. They can help with introductions. You can focus on the connection, not the crowd. 6️⃣ Ask, then listen. What’s the easiest way to connect? Start with a thoughtful question. “What excites you about your work?” Let them talk. Listening makes people feel heard. 7️⃣ Stick to events that suit you. Why force yourself into constant small talk? Go to workshops or panels. Listen, learn, and join in when it feels right. 8️⃣ Skip the room, use the DMs. Big events feel overwhelming? No problem. Follow up later. Send a message. Be direct and intentional. 9️⃣ Let people come to you. What if you did not have to chase connections? Share your thoughts online. Posts and comments attract like-minded people. 🔟 Find your own style. Networking does not have to look one way. Coffee chats. Small meetups. Online groups. Do it in a way that fits you. ❌ Networking is not about doing everything. ✅ It is about doing what feels right. And when you find your flow, connections will come naturally. ————— I am Sven, and my mission is to help introverted entrepreneurs and professionals thrive as who they are while protecting their energy to focus on their dreams. Want to learn more? Check my profile, subscribe to my newsletter, or feel free to reach out anytime.

You don’t have to be an extrovert to network. Here’s how I did it as an introvert. I used to think networking meant going to big events, awkwardly introducing myself, and forcing small talk with strangers. But I still managed to build a solid network and land great opportunities without faking it. Here’s what actually worked for me: ✅ I started posting actively and commenting on posts. Over time, people started recognizing my name, and real conversations happened naturally. ✅ Career fairs and networking nights were overwhelming, so I focused on setting up quick 20 min coffee chats with people I was interested in. Less pressure, more value. ✅ I posted about my projects, experiences, and things I was learning. Turns out, when you put yourself out there opportunities start coming to you. 🌸 You don’t have to be super outgoing to network. Just be intentional, be yourself, and find what works for you.