Understanding Unwritten Rules At Work

11 Real Rules of Corporate Success  (The Ones Nobody Talks About) From 26 Years in the Trenches Hard truth: Working hard is only 20% of career success. The other 80%? It’s what nobody tells you in business school. 1/ Make Your Manager Look Good ↳ Solve problems before they reach their desk. ↳ Frame solutions as “just following your guidance” – it reinforces their leadership. ↳ Your boss’s success becomes your insurance policy. 2/ Save a Teammate’s Job ↳ I once covered for a colleague during their mental health crisis. ↳ ROI: That colleague now runs a department and still remembers. ↳ They became my biggest advocate in leadership meetings. 3/ Master Invisible Visibility ↳ Don’t just do great work – document it strategically. ↳ Create a “wins folder” in your email – evidence beats memory in review season. ↳ Send those “quick updates” that make a 3-hour task look like a 3-week project. 4/ Emotional Bank Accounts ↳ Keep a calendar note of what people mention they’re struggling with. ↳ Remember birthdays (yes, even Steve from accounting). ↳ Small gestures = big allies when you least expect it. ↳ Help others look good in meetings – they never forget. 5/ The Credit Game ↳ Let others take credit occasionally. ↳ Build a reputation as a credit-giver. ↳ Trust me: They’ll defend you like a lawyer when promotion time comes. 6/ Strategic Humility ↳ Share failures openly, but always with the lesson learned. ↳ Nothing disarms office politics like genuine vulnerability. ↳ Turn your mistakes into mentoring moments. 7/ Build Your Story Network ↳ Every promotion needs 5 people telling your story. ↳ Be the first to celebrate others’ wins. ↳ Your advocates > your achievements. ↳ Coffee chats > LinkedIn connections. 8/ The Power of Appropriate Humor ↳ Break tension in tough meetings. ↳ Self-deprecating humor shows confidence. ↳ Never punch down. ↳ People promote people they enjoy being around. 9/ Gossip Navigation ↳ Don’t dish it. ↳ Don’t receive it. ↳ Redirect it: “Have you talked to them about this?” ↳ Build a reputation as the drama-free zone. 10/ Boundary Mastery ↳ Say “yes” strategically. ↳ Say “no” professionally. ↳ Your boundaries = your brand. ↳ Protect your time like it’s your company’s most valuable asset. 11/ Communication Clarity ↳ Bad news early. ↳ Good news with proof. ↳ Always have a solution ready. ↳ Master the art of the “heads-up” email. The real secret? While everyone focuses on climbing the ladder… Build the relationships that make people want to pull you up. Impact Check: ↳ This approach helped me mentor 17 people to director-level positions. ↳ Most of these take less than 5 minutes a day but compound into career-defining moments. Warning: The opposite of these principles is what I’ve seen sink promising careers. ♻️ Repost to help your network level up. And follow Dharma Ramasamy for more corporate truth bombs!

The fastest way to stall your career? Pretend politics don’t matter. Plenty of smart executives make this mistake. They assume office politics are beneath them. Meanwhile, less qualified peers glide into roles they wanted. Not because they’re better. Because they understand something others miss: 👉 𝘗𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘱. After walking this path myself—and coaching hundreds of senior leaders—I’ve seen it again and again: Technical excellence gets you 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮. Strategic influence determines what happens 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. Here’s what the most successful leaders do differently: 𝟭/ 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 Not the org chart. The 𝘶𝘯𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 power grid. Who does the CEO text after hours? Whose feedback gets implemented before meetings even end? Which quiet players steer big decisions? If you can’t see this map, you’re flying blind. 𝟮/ 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁 Influence works like a bank account: deposits first. They earn trust by: • Solving real problems for key players • Building bridges across silos • Making others look good without broadcasting it Political goodwill isn’t built in a crisis. 𝟯/ 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀 Every company 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 they value innovation or collaboration. But pay attention to: • What gets funded vs. what gets praised • Which mistakes get forgiven • Whose meetings never get moved These tell you what 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 matters. 𝟰/ 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 Pushback is rarely about your idea’s logic. It’s about: • Whose turf feels threatened • Who was left out of early conversations • What hidden priorities you ignored This isn’t manipulation. It’s reading the room like a strategist. 𝟱/ 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 Not all support is equal. Smart leaders focus their energy where real decisions are shaped. Backchannel influence beats formal authority every time. You don’t need everyone on your side—just the 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 people. Bottom line: If you can’t navigate the human systems at the top, your talent will be overlooked. 👇 What unwritten rule of leadership took you too long to learn? ---------------------------------------------- ♻️ Share with a colleague who's ready for their next level. ➕ Follow Courtney Intersimone for more insights on executive influence and advancement.

Every workplace has them. Nobody writes them down. And if you break one, everyone acts shocked that you didn't somehow absorb them through osmosis. Welcome to the absurd world of unspoken rules in the workplace. For neurotypical folks, these invisible guidelines are challenging enough. For neurodivergent professionals? They're like playing Monopoly when everyone else switched to poker but forgot to tell you. Let's decode some of these, shall we? 🧠 "Let me know if you have any questions" equals "Figure it out yourself because asking too many questions makes you look incompetent, but also don't make mistakes because that also makes you look incompetent." So I should...ask questions without asking questions? 🧠 "We want you to challenge the status quo" means "Challenge things nobody cares about, with perfect timing / tone, after building political capital (which we won't tell you when you've acquired)." So you want challenges that aren't challenging? 🧠 "This is an open-door policy" means "My door is physically open but entering is a social violation unless properly scheduled and your problem makes me look good." So...not actually open then? 🧠 "We're a flat organization" means "There's definitely a hierarchy, just invisible and shifting based on who had drinks with the CEO last weekend." So the org chart is just for show? 🧠 "Team happy hour is optional" means "It's mandatory career development disguised as fun. Decline 3x and you're 'not a team player.'" So 'optional' means 'required but we pretend it isn't'? 🧠 "We value work-life balance" translates to "Answer emails until 11pm but pretend you weren't working." So balance means...always available? 🧠 "Take all the time you need" means "Take exactly the amount of time I think you need, which I won't specify. If you don't, you're either inefficient or sloppy." So... how much time is that exactly? Breaking these rules gets you labeled "difficult," "not a culture fit," or lacking "common sense" - vague terms for people who don't perform the correct social dance. And brilliant professionals get sidelined not because they can't do the work, but because they can't decode the bizarre social theater surrounding it. So here's a revolutionary thought straight from primary school: say what you mean, and mean what you say. - "We welcome questions - clarity matters more than looking knowledgeable." - "We want challenges, and here's how to raise them effectively." - "Here's when to catch me for unscheduled conversations." - "This is how decisions really get made here." - "Here's the actual timeline we need this completed in." Companies thriving with neurodivergent talent turn implicit rules into explicit conversations. Because when you eliminate the exhausting game of social charades, everyone performs better. What are some unspoken rules you've observed? Bonus points for responses both hilarious and deeply concerning. #WorkplaceCulture #NeurodivergentProfessionals #UnspokenRules

🔑 Understand Organizational Dynamics — Lead with Strategic Awareness As part of my recent talk at NYU’s School of Professional Studies Leadership Academy on Cultivating Influence, I shared four core principles—today, we’re diving into Principle 2: Understanding Organizational Dynamics. To lead effectively, it’s not enough to master your own role—you need to understand the system you're leading within. Understanding your organizational landscape is your power move. Every organization has a unique ecosystem of relationships, decision-making structures, and invisible norms. Too often, leaders focus solely on their role, direct reports, or projects—but your real impact expands when you can read the room, understand power flows, and navigate relationships across functions and titles. Leaders who take time to understand this broader landscape elevate their ability to align, influence, and create meaningful momentum. ✨ Here’s why this matters: Organizations are ecosystems of people working toward shared goals. And ecosystems thrive when you understand the flow of energy, information, and influence. 🛠️ Intentional Leadership Actions to Grow This Slice: 1️⃣ Map out key decision-makers, stakeholders, and cross-functional influencers—those with formal and informal power in your ecosystem. 2️⃣ Identify allies, sponsors, and stakeholders you can collaborate with and learn from. 3️⃣ Build genuine relationships across teams, functions, and levels to gain a broader lens on how work actually gets done and by whom. 4️⃣ Learn the “unwritten rules” of the culture—the norms, language, and expectations that don’t live in a handbook but shape how things move. 5️⃣ Pay attention to patterns: Who gets listened to? Who brings people together? Where are the bottlenecks and bridges? 6️⃣Build bridges, not silos—your relationships across teams shape your reputation more than your résumé. Understanding your organizational landscape isn’t about playing the game—it’s about leading with clarity, strategic insight, and purpose. Leaders who grasp the full ecosystem drive alignment, unlock hidden opportunities, and build influence where others hit walls. They don’t just execute tasks—they shape outcomes, shift culture, open doors, guide progress, and move the organization forward with intention. 💭 Call to Action: What’s one relationship, team, or process you need to better understand to expand your leadership impact? 👇 Share in the comments or message me directly—I'd love to hear how you're growing this slice of your leadership toolkit. #OrganizationalDynamics #StrategicLeadership #LeadershipToolkit #InfluenceInAction #SelfLeadership #IntentionalLeadership #LeadershipDevelopment #GrowthMindset #CrossFunctionalCollaboration #ExecutivePresence #LeadershipJourney #LeadershipInsights #Teamwork #IntentionalLeadership

Most of us know the fence is the problem. But what actually IS the fence? I used this image to introduce my dissertation on unwritten rules of work for the working class. I told my committee: "The purpose of my study is to identify what that fence actually is." I interviewed Black and white women and men from working-class backgrounds who'd moved into middle-class careers through employment. Their stories began to outline the fence and made it visible. At work, the fence isn't physical. It's invisible rules like: - Don't speak in a way that upsets people - Learn to interpret why everyone's beating around the bush - Figure out who's really in charge (even without the title) - Be assertive and advocate for yourself, but don't seem "too aggressive" - When they ask a question, it doesn't always mean they want the answer Here's the problem: Many leaders want to remove barriers, but it's hard to remove barriers you don't see because you perceive them as normal. "That's just professionalism." Your high performers from certain backgrounds already know these rules. Others keep running into this invisible fence. In my research, that's consistently: - People from working-class backgrounds - People of color - Women - Neurodivergent individuals - Any combination of the above The solution isn't lowering standards - it's evaluating which rules actually make the business run better and making those ones visible. When everybody knows how to play the game, the whole team actually wins. That's how you really build a workplace without fences. Image from Othering & Belonging Institute at UC Berkeley #unwrittenrules #culture #culturefit #workingclass #neurodivergent

Early in my career, I thought success was about working hard, following the company handbook, and dressing the part. But the real key? Understanding the unspoken rules — the way decisions are made, the behaviors that get rewarded, and what success actually looks like inside a company. The reality is, moving up the career ladder isn’t linear anymore — it’s more like chutes and ladders. I had the opportunity to share my journey with the Women's Executive Presence and Empowerment Program hosted by Lisa Richmeier Chaffins. Together, we explored the unspoken rules of corporate success, navigating toxic workplaces, and the qualities that drive operational excellence. For women, especially, visibility is our currency. Many of us were taught that great work speaks for itself. But the truth is: If no one sees your impact, they can’t recognize it or reward it. Self-advocacy isn’t bragging — it’s ensuring your contributions are seen and valued. And when it comes to leadership, trust, transparency, and communication matter. People want to feel heard. When leaders don’t explain the "why" behind decisions, employees fill in the gaps — often with the worst assumptions. A lack of clarity leads to disengagement, frustration, and quiet exits. Success isn’t just about talent or hard work alone. It’s about knowing how to navigate the landscape, build relationships, and advocate for yourself in a way that resonates. ✨ What’s been your biggest lesson in decoding the workplace? Would love to hear your thoughts! 👇 Hannah Gordon, Amy Wong, Alison Armstrong, Chelsea Grayson, and Sheryl Palmer