Tips for Asking for Referrals

One of the first engineers I hired found me on LinkedIn. Here’s what he did right: 1. He messaged me three times, each time including his resume, a short bio, and a link to the job posting he was interested in. 2. He wasn’t annoying or pushy, but consistent. He waited about a month between each interaction and made sure to be understanding that I likely wasn’t ignoring him, I just hadn’t seen his emails yet. 3. He knew he was asking me for something and he acknowledged that. It wasn’t a given that I would help him, but a request for help that was greatly appreciated. 4. He did his homework. His email to me was basically what a cover letter should be. He explained in plain language what he wanted and why he’d be a good fit. He looked into the role and made sure I probably knew people in that department. It made it so easy for me to look at his resume and the JD and put my reputation on the line for him. And you know what? He’s been one of the best engineers I’ve ever hired. He has shown up with the same consistency and ability to clearly communicate every day for the last 4 years. Spamming your resume to every data person on LinkedIn will never work. In fact, the short “here’s my resume can you get me a job” email is so off-putting I’ve blocked people who do it more than once. Asking for a referral is basically asking someone to align their reputation with you, so don’t do it without consideration and acknowledgement. And finally, just because X company is hiring doesn’t mean that every employee knows every hiring manager everywhere. Do your homework.

In my early career, I thought networking was all about building as many connections as possible. But I quickly learned that effective networking isn't about the quantity of your connections—it's about the quality. Throughout my career, the connections that have truly made a difference weren’t the ones where I just asked for help—they were the ones where I made it easy for others to want to help me. If you want to make others genuinely want to help you, it’s crucial to move beyond simply asking for favors. Instead, focus on creating value and building relationships where both parties benefit. So, how can you do the same? Here are four tactical tips to help you network effectively: ✅ Do Your Homework Before reaching out, research the person or company you’re interested in. Understand their work, challenges, and how you can add value. For instance, instead of asking a connection for job leads, do your own research first. Identify specific roles and companies you’re targeting, and then ask if they can help with an introduction. This approach shows initiative and respect for their time. ✅ Be Specific in Your Ask Whether you’re asking for an introduction, advice, or a referral, be clear and concise about what you need. For example, instead of asking, “Do you know anyone hiring?” say, “I noticed [Company Name] is looking for a [Role]. Would you be open to introducing me to [Person]? I’m happy to send you my resume and a brief write-up you can pass along, too.” This shows that you’ve taken the initiative and makes it easier for your contact to say yes. ✅ Offer Mutual Value When requesting a meeting or advice, frame it as a two-way conversation. Instead of saying, “Can I pick your brain?” try something like, “I’d love to exchange ideas on [specific topic] and share some strategies that have worked for me.” This not only makes your request more compelling but also positions you as someone who brings value to the table. ✅ Follow Up with Gratitude After someone has helped you, don’t just say thank you and disappear. Keep them in the loop on how their help made an impact. Whether you got the job, secured the meeting, or just had a great conversation, let them know. This closes the loop and makes them more inclined to help you in the future. Your network is one of your greatest assets—nurture it well, and it will be there for you when you need it most. What’s one networking tip that’s helped you build stronger connections? *** 📧 Want more tips like these? Join Career Bites - free weekly bite-sized tips to supercharge your career in 3 minutes or less: lorraineklee.com/subscribe 📖 You can also get behind-the-scenes stories, updates, and special gifts for my upcoming book Unforgettable Presence: lorraineklee.com/book

I get a lot of requests for coffee chats and referrals, and I've noticed some recurring mistakes in how people reach out. I want to share the strategies that have helped me achieve a 70% response rate. LinkedIn is incredible for connecting, and with thoughtful outreach and content, you can increase your outreach response results. The Don'ts (Vague): 🚫 "Hi there, I'm graduating in May and open to positions at [Insert Company Name]." Why this doesn't work? - It's too generic. No one person knows every open role. - It shows a lack of research. - You're shifting the work onto the recipient. The Do's (Specific & Intentional): ✅ "Hi [Insert Name], I noticed you're a Program Manager at [Insert Company]. I'm interested in the Program Manager role [Insert Job Link] and would love to connect for a 20-minute coffee chat to discuss: - Your interview process - Your day-to-day schedule - Your top challenges and how you overcome them - Any tips you can share Key Strategies for Success: - Targeted Job Titles: If you want an engineering role, connect with engineers. For data analysis, reach out to data analysts. Keep it relevant! - Experience Alignment: Aim for individuals with career tenures closer to your desired level. New grad? Connect with those 2-3 years into their journey. - The Follow-Up is Crucial: After a successful coffee chat, send a personalized THANK YOU. Include 1-2 specific points you discussed to show you were engaged. Strategic and intentional outreach is crucial, especially with so many people looking for jobs right now. It's all about thoughtful research and making it easy for the person you're contacting. What are your favorite outreach tips or questions? Let's connect and share! 👇 #LinkedInNetworking #CareerAdvice #JobSearchTips #StrategicOutreach #ProfessionalDevelopment #NetworkingTips #CoffeeChat #JobHunting #CareerStrategy #NoCeilings #CoffeeChatStrategy #NetworkWithIntention

Applying online is only part of the process. But if that’s your whole strategy, you’re going to stay invisible. Referrals aren’t luck. They’re strategy. Here’s how I coach clients to actually earn them. 1️⃣ Start with clarity. People can’t refer you if they don’t know what you’re looking for. Be specific about the role, level, industry, and type of company. 2️⃣ Make it easy to help. Instead of saying “Let me know if you hear of anything,” try: “I’m targeting senior product manager roles at SaaS companies. If you know anyone hiring or open to a chat, I’d be grateful for a connection.” 3️⃣ Build the bridge before you need it. Engage with people’s content. Show up consistently. Offer value first. Then, when you reach out, it feels natural, not transactional. Remember: A referral doesn’t guarantee you the job. But it can get your resume seen. And that’s the part most people never get past. Referrals aren’t cheating the system. They’re how the system actually works.

"How to ask for a referral without feeling awkward?" I got this question last week from one of my clients. When I first started networking, I struggled with the idea of asking people for referrals or even asking for an interview. It felt uncomfortable like I was taking something from them. But one of my mentors shifted my perspective completely. He told me: 1) Practice until it feels natural The awkwardness often comes from inexperience. Just like with anything else, the more you do it, the less strange it feels. You’ll build confidence through repetition. 2) Make sure it’s a genuine fit My mentor emphasized that if you honestly believe you can help the other person, or in a job search, if you truly think the role is a good match—you owe it to them (and yourself) to make the ask. However, if you’re not right for the role, product, or situation, be upfront about it. Saying “no” when it isn’t a good fit keeps things ethical and maintains integrity. Remember, you’re evaluating the opportunity just as much as the other person or company is evaluating you. Aim for a true win-win. That mindset removes the “taking” feeling and reminds you this is a partnership. And if you're unsure where you add value, start by asking more often. Over time, you’ll recognize the situations in which you can genuinely help—making it much more comfortable to ask for referrals. By focusing on genuine alignment and being willing to say “no” when it’s not right, you’ll find that asking for referrals doesn’t have to feel awkward. In fact, it can become one of your most rewarding — and ethical — ways to grow and connect.

Referrals are by far the highest ROI channel for B2B businesses. So why aren’t you getting more of them? I use a dead-simple, but incredibly effective method to double my inbound referrals. 1 — Be Direct. The biggest mistake people make is relying on “automated emails” and “programs”. They take the easy way out because they are afraid. They wait for a follow-up email and send vague requests like, “If you think of anyone, let me know!” The reality is people don’t have time to brainstorm referrals for you! 2 — here’s what I do: make a specific and direct ask. And when possible, do it face-to-face right on the video call. Yes, you can do this over email, but asking directly, person-to-person, makes a stronger impact. 3 — Instead of leading with an ask, start by GIVING a lead first. Before ending a call, try this: “Before we wrap up, I’d like to give you two leads I think would benefit from your service. Would you mind sharing two people on your client roster who might find us interesting? I’ll send you a tailored email for easy forwarding.” Even better, do your homework: “I noticed these logos on your website. These two companies look like they’d be a great fit for us because [reason]. Would you mind making an introduction?” Be specific. Be proactive. Be intentional. What’s your go-to approach when asking for referrals? Let me know in the comments.

4 ways to juice your existing network to accelerate your job search: 1. Reconnect w/ your past connections. Download your 1st degree LinkedIn connections. Review them & reach out to reconnect with folks who are close to your target roles/companies. People change roles when you aren't paying attention. 2. Send an "Investor Update". Send a email monthly or quarterly to those who are "invested" in your job search. Ask for help and intros based on your target companies & roles. Offer help you can provide as well. I've been on the receiving end of these. In minutes, I connected my friend to a former colleague at LinkedIn. Now, they're colleagues! 3. Make an effective Open To Work post on LinkedIn Trick is? Effective. Don't waste the attention with vague asks, get specific about what you're looking for and what you bring to the table to unlock introductions. Tell your story & get creative to stand out! 4. Request warm intros If you have a 2nd degree connection with people at your target companies, ask your connection if they're willing to make an intro. Send a forwardable email to make it easy. (The key: Make sure the connection is strong enough... bc strong cold outreach >>> weak warm intro). My friend asked me if I knew a leader he had an interview coming with. She had actually given me an offer 3 years prior & we kept in distant touch. I reached out to send her a referral so he'd stand out in the process (he didn't ask me to)... and he started there this week! People want to help you. Make it easy for them!