Ways to Cope with a Negative Coworker

Some people don’t play fair at work. They play to win, and they weaponize perception to do it. They bait your emotions. They move the goalposts. They delegate complete chaos. They create confusion, then call it collaboration. And quitting isn’t always an option. Especially when you're rising. Here are 7 strategies to protect your power: 1. Silence is a strategy. Don’t rush to fill the space. Pauses signal self-trust. They expose games people try to play. i.e: When a peer tries to get you to defend your work in a meeting, don’t explain everything. Just say, “That’s noted,” and move on. Let their tone do the work of revealing the dynamics to others. 2. Divest your emotional labor. You’re not responsible for how other people feel about your boundaries, tone, or clarity. i.e: If your manager is in a mood or being short with you, don’t overfunction to smooth it over. Stick to the facts, keep your update short, and end the meeting on time. 3. Outshine the master carefully. Power loves proximity, so don’t disappear. Share your wins in public—but pair them with a compliment. i.e: If your director doesn’t like being outshined, say in a team update, “Thanks to [Director’s Name] for the support on this, I was able to close the contract two weeks ahead of schedule.” Tie your success to their influence while keeping your name attached to the win. 4. Speak to the pattern, not the person. Address repeat behaviors in clean, direct ways. Stick to the facts. i.e: If a colleague keeps delaying deliverables that impact you, say, “This is the third time the file has come late, and it’s caused downstream delays. I want to get ahead of this for next time.” It’s hard to argue with patterns. 5. Don’t reveal your intentions or your personal business. Say what you need, then stop talking. i.e: If you're asking for a project switch, say, “I’d like to be considered for X. I believe it’s a better use of my current strengths.” No need to mention burnout, your manager’s issues, or private goals. 6.Control access to yourself in levels. Not every colleague gets the same version of you. Boundaries are a form of emotional regulation. i.e: You don’t need to keep explaining your every idea to a critical coworker. Instead, share top-line updates in writing and save your full thinking for trusted allies or public spaces where misinterpretation is harder. 7. Exit the game entirely. Sometimes the real power move is not playing at all. This is how you protect your peace without losing your position. * If you resonate with this post, please repost it to your Linkedin page.* However, if you're a business coach, career coach etc., do not share this post or assume that tagging me in business groups, business pages or simply looking to grow your biz pages or on direct pages serves as permission. Do not post without my explicit permission*

The scream came from the office kitchen. It was followed by "You're dead to me!" Then the door slammed. That's a loud and clear sign of a toxic co-worker. Most are more subtle, but no less awful. One toxic worker can change the whole feeling of a workplace. Their behavior can be insidious and hard to nail down. Sadly, management rarely confronts the negative impact. In this case, "management" was me. I wasn't paying enough attention. I was on the road a lot and no one wanted to "bother" me. But the responsibility? That was on ME. Now I know better, and I know what to look for. Here are 9 red flags that can signal a toxic co-worker: 1. Gossiping or spreading rumors 2. Undermining or subtly sabotaging colleagues 3. Stealing credit 4. Shirking work 5. Constant whining & complaining 6. Forming cliques and excluding others 7. Withholding information or resources 8. Ignoring others’ boundaries 9. Volitile and unpredictable emotions How can you respond if a co-worker exhibits these behaviors? These strategies can help: Observe & Document 📒 ↳ Record incidents, note witnesses, identify patterns Set Boundaries ⏸️ ↳ Politely communicate limits, enforce consistently Limit Interactions ✋ ↳ Keep conversations professional and brief, avoid gossip Practice Mindfulness 🧘🏽♀️ ↳ Pause before responding, stay calm and professional Address Directly 🗣️ ↳ Have honest, non-confrontational conversations when safe Protect Health 💜 ↳ Prioritize self-care, seek support, manage stress Seek Support/Escalate 🆘 ↳ Involve manager or HR with documented evidence if needed Know Your Limits 🛑 ↳ Consider a transfer or new job if situation is unresolvable And, if you lead the team: ✅ Accept responsibility ✅ Make sure you are accessible ✅ Create a culture of communication ✅ Set a high bar for everyone supporting one another ✅ Confront issues immediately and directly ✅ If someone can't get on board, let them go Have you seen this situation handled well? What was done? Tell us in the comments! 🎉You've got this and I've got you!🎉 ♻️ Repost to help others who are dealing with a toxic co-worker 🔔 Follow Sarah Baker Andrus for more strategic career insights 📌Want job search support? DM me to chat!

How do you neutralize a toxic coworker? The same way you’d handle a double agent. Toxic colleagues are like double agents, they smile in meetings and sabotage in the shadows. I once worked with a colleague who checked every box on the “toxic personality” checklist. He belittled me in meetings. Yelled at me behind closed doors. (He actually told me I should be at home in the kitchen!) Refused to collaborate - unless, of course, it was on something that made him look good. And the more competent I was, the more threatened he became. At first, I thought I could fix it by confronting him directly. Rookie mistake. All it did was give him more fuel. That’s when I realized… This wasn’t a “difficult coworker” problem. This was a counterintelligence problem. In the intelligence world, you don’t confront hostile actors head-on. You study them. You map their patterns. You quietly dismantle their influence. Mission steps for neutralizing a toxic operator: ✔️ Don’t engage emotionally. Engage strategically. He thrived on getting a reaction. I learned to respond with the same calm tone I’d use ordering a latte. (Google “grey rock method”) ✔️ Map their behavior like you would an asset. Who were his allies? Who backed away when he walked in the room? When did he lose control? Those patterns became my playbook. ✔️ Document interactions. Build the pattern. I kept meticulous notes. Dates, times, witnesses. It wasn’t “paranoia”, it was my insurance policy. ✔️ Mirror back their tactics to neutralize their power. When he withheld information, I’d ask for it over email, cc’ing others. When he tried to dominate meetings, I’d redirect questions back to the group. The big lesson for me: Toxic people thrive on chaos. If you don’t feed it, they lose their grip. By the end, I hadn’t just survived him, I’d outlasted him. And I learned one of the most important workplace truths: You don’t win against toxic personalities by going to war. You win by refusing to play their game. Sometimes the ultimate takedown is leaving them irrelevant while you thrive. #EmotionalIntelligence #Leadership #SpycraftForEverydayLife #HumanRisk #ToxicLeadership #ProfessionalDevelopment #WorkplaceWellness #Espionage