Handling Conflict with a Disruptive Colleague

Some people don’t play fair at work. They play to win, and they weaponize perception to do it. They bait your emotions. They move the goalposts. They delegate complete chaos. They create confusion, then call it collaboration. And quitting isn’t always an option. Especially when you're rising. Here are 7 strategies to protect your power: 1. Silence is a strategy. Don’t rush to fill the space. Pauses signal self-trust. They expose games people try to play. i.e: When a peer tries to get you to defend your work in a meeting, don’t explain everything. Just say, “That’s noted,” and move on. Let their tone do the work of revealing the dynamics to others. 2. Divest your emotional labor. You’re not responsible for how other people feel about your boundaries, tone, or clarity. i.e: If your manager is in a mood or being short with you, don’t overfunction to smooth it over. Stick to the facts, keep your update short, and end the meeting on time. 3. Outshine the master carefully. Power loves proximity, so don’t disappear. Share your wins in public—but pair them with a compliment. i.e: If your director doesn’t like being outshined, say in a team update, “Thanks to [Director’s Name] for the support on this, I was able to close the contract two weeks ahead of schedule.” Tie your success to their influence while keeping your name attached to the win. 4. Speak to the pattern, not the person. Address repeat behaviors in clean, direct ways. Stick to the facts. i.e: If a colleague keeps delaying deliverables that impact you, say, “This is the third time the file has come late, and it’s caused downstream delays. I want to get ahead of this for next time.” It’s hard to argue with patterns. 5. Don’t reveal your intentions or your personal business. Say what you need, then stop talking. i.e: If you're asking for a project switch, say, “I’d like to be considered for X. I believe it’s a better use of my current strengths.” No need to mention burnout, your manager’s issues, or private goals. 6.Control access to yourself in levels. Not every colleague gets the same version of you. Boundaries are a form of emotional regulation. i.e: You don’t need to keep explaining your every idea to a critical coworker. Instead, share top-line updates in writing and save your full thinking for trusted allies or public spaces where misinterpretation is harder. 7. Exit the game entirely. Sometimes the real power move is not playing at all. This is how you protect your peace without losing your position. * If you resonate with this post, please repost it to your Linkedin page.* However, if you're a business coach, career coach etc., do not share this post or assume that tagging me in business groups, business pages or simply looking to grow your biz pages or on direct pages serves as permission. Do not post without my explicit permission*

One of the toughest tests of your leadership isn't how you handle success. It's how you navigate disagreement. I noticed this in the SEAL Teams and in my work with executives: Those who master difficult conversations outperform their peers not just in team satisfaction, but in decision quality and innovation. The problem? Most of us enter difficult conversations with our nervous system already in a threat state. Our brain literally can't access its best thinking when flooded with stress hormones. Through years of working with high-performing teams, I've developed what I call The Mindful Disagreement Framework. Here's how it works: 1. Pause Before Engaging (10 seconds) When triggered by disagreement, take a deliberate breath. This small reset activates your prefrontal cortex instead of your reactive limbic system. Your brain physically needs this transition to think clearly. 2. Set Psychological Safety (30 seconds) Start with: "I appreciate your perspective and want to understand it better. I also have some different thoughts to share." This simple opener signals respect while creating space for different viewpoints. 3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Certainty (2 minutes) Ask at least three questions before stating your position. This practice significantly increases the quality of solutions because it broadens your understanding before narrowing toward decisions. 4. Name the Shared Purpose (1 minute) "We both want [shared goal]. We're just seeing different paths to get there." This reminds everyone you're on the same team, even with different perspectives. 5. Separate Impact from Intent (30 seconds) "When X happened, I felt Y, because Z. I know that wasn't your intention." This formula transforms accusations into observations. Last month, I used this exact framework in a disagreement. The conversation that could have damaged our relationship instead strengthened it. Not because we ended up agreeing, but because we disagreed respectfully. (It may or may not have been with my kid!) The most valuable disagreements often feel uncomfortable. The goal isn't comfort. It's growth. What difficult conversation are you avoiding right now? Try this framework tomorrow and watch what happens to your leadership influence. ___ Follow me, Jon Macaskill for more leadership focused content. And feel free to repost if someone in your life needs to hear this. 📩 Subscribe to my newsletter here → https://lnkd.in/g9ZFxDJG You'll get FREE access to my 21-Day Mindfulness & Meditation Course packed with real, actionable strategies to lead with clarity, resilience, and purpose.

How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers 👇 I've worked with some challenging people in my career... and honestly? Each one took a big toll on me. Sometimes it was a client... Sometimes a coworker... And sometimes my manager. Toxic work environments can be out of our control - you just can't predict who you'll work with, no matter how much you research a job in advance. But with the right approach, you CAN improve your situation. ➡️ DON'T PLAY THE VICTIM — EVEN IF YOU ARE ONE Your job is to make your manager's life easier — not harder. Complaining without a solution shows poor leadership and signals you can't solve problems independently. Take responsibility and start solving the problem yourself. This mindset shift alone can dramatically change outcomes. ➡️ NOTHING WILL CHANGE UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING The other person may not even know there's a problem, or they don't have enough reason to change. Speak up in a private, non-combative way: "I work best when..." or "It's challenging for me when..." Attack the problem, not the person. One conversation can transform a relationship that's been difficult for months. ➡️ GIVE DIRECT BUT RESPECTFUL FEEDBACK Pick a 1:1, a check-in, or ask for a meeting. Keep it calm, constructive, and focused on collaboration. You're not confronting — you're informing and improving. Frame it as a joint effort to create a better working relationship. ➡️ PROTECT YOUR REPUTATION If the situation might impact your image, notify your manager. Let them know you're working on it and will update them. This protects you from having your reputation damaged if the wrong story gets out. It shows maturity and leadership under pressure. ➡️ STAY PROFESSIONAL — ALWAYS Matching disrespect with disrespect only fuels the fire. They'll use your reaction as ammunition to continue their behavior or claim you're being unprofessional. Don't stoop to their level. Stay calm, stay sharp. When they go low, you go high. ➡️ BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE When you feel mistreated, take notes on what specifically bothers you. Use it to guide how you will treat others someday when you're in a position of authority. Great leaders don't repeat bad management — they learn from it. Managing people is genuinely hard - balancing praise with constructive feedback takes skill. ➡️ DON'T FIX IT FOR OTHERS — HELP THEM FIX IT THEMSELVES If someone comes to you with a coworker problem, listen. But instead of solving it for them, empower them to act. Teach them how to handle it — that's true leadership. As the saying goes, give someone a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them to fish and you feed them for a lifetime. === Sometimes, despite your best efforts, there's no fixing a toxic environment. Know when it's time to move departments or jobs. I'm a big believer that who you work with matters as much as what you do. What strategies have worked for you when dealing with difficult coworkers? Drop your thoughts below 👇

The scream came from the office kitchen. It was followed by "You're dead to me!" Then the door slammed. That's a loud and clear sign of a toxic co-worker. Most are more subtle, but no less awful. One toxic worker can change the whole feeling of a workplace. Their behavior can be insidious and hard to nail down. Sadly, management rarely confronts the negative impact. In this case, "management" was me. I wasn't paying enough attention. I was on the road a lot and no one wanted to "bother" me. But the responsibility? That was on ME. Now I know better, and I know what to look for. Here are 9 red flags that can signal a toxic co-worker: 1. Gossiping or spreading rumors 2. Undermining or subtly sabotaging colleagues 3. Stealing credit 4. Shirking work 5. Constant whining & complaining 6. Forming cliques and excluding others 7. Withholding information or resources 8. Ignoring others’ boundaries 9. Volitile and unpredictable emotions How can you respond if a co-worker exhibits these behaviors? These strategies can help: Observe & Document 📒 ↳ Record incidents, note witnesses, identify patterns Set Boundaries ⏸️ ↳ Politely communicate limits, enforce consistently Limit Interactions ✋ ↳ Keep conversations professional and brief, avoid gossip Practice Mindfulness 🧘🏽♀️ ↳ Pause before responding, stay calm and professional Address Directly 🗣️ ↳ Have honest, non-confrontational conversations when safe Protect Health 💜 ↳ Prioritize self-care, seek support, manage stress Seek Support/Escalate 🆘 ↳ Involve manager or HR with documented evidence if needed Know Your Limits 🛑 ↳ Consider a transfer or new job if situation is unresolvable And, if you lead the team: ✅ Accept responsibility ✅ Make sure you are accessible ✅ Create a culture of communication ✅ Set a high bar for everyone supporting one another ✅ Confront issues immediately and directly ✅ If someone can't get on board, let them go Have you seen this situation handled well? What was done? Tell us in the comments! 🎉You've got this and I've got you!🎉 ♻️ Repost to help others who are dealing with a toxic co-worker 🔔 Follow Sarah Baker Andrus for more strategic career insights 📌Want job search support? DM me to chat!