How to Manage Up with a Difficult Manager

How to handle a difficult boss: My advice to someone dealing with a toxic boss is usually simple: Leave. Life's too short to spend years under someone who limits your growth. But of course, that's not always possible right away. It takes time to line up your next role, Plan a thoughtful exit, And keep relationships intact as you go. So until then, you need to manage upward. Figure out what makes your boss difficult, And adapt your approach to protect your sanity: (See graphic for more details) 1. Micromanagers ↳They want to review every detail and rarely show trust ↳Tip: Share regular progress updates so they feel informed without asking 2. Absent Leaders ↳They're hard to reach, always in meetings, and give little direction ↳Tip: Send short emails with the key decision points they need to weigh in on 3. Credit Takers ↳They present your work as their own and overlook your contributions ↳Tip: Keep clear records (emails, files, slides) that show your role in the work 4. Volatile ↳They have unpredictable moods, snapping or lashing out under stress ↳Tip: Stay calm and neutral so you don't escalate the situation 5. Indecisive ↳They change direction often and struggle to commit to choices ↳Tip: Narrow the options down to two or three and suggest the one you recommend 6. Overwhelmed ↳They juggle too much, miss details, and forget follow-ups ↳Tip: Make it simple for them with one-line summaries, bullet points, and clear asks 7. Favoritism ↳They give select people better projects and more leeway than others ↳Tip: Focus on consistently delivering strong work rather than competing for attention 8. Vision-Only ↳They talk big-picture ideas but leave out the practical steps ↳Tip: Translate their vision into concrete tasks and confirm that's the direction they want 9. Insecure ↳They feel threatened by capable team members and downplay their strengths ↳Tip: Acknowledge their contributions publicly so they feel more secure 10. Rule-Obsessed ↳They cling tightly to process, resisting anything that feels new ↳Tip: Frame new ideas as small, low-risk experiments instead of major changes 11. Chronic Procrastinators ↳They delay decisions, create last-minute rushes, and thrive on urgency ↳Tip: Notice their patterns and prepare your part in advance when possible 12. Conflict-Avoidant ↳They avoid hard conversations, preferring harmony over accountability ↳Tip: Invite direct feedback by saying you want honesty, even if it's tough to hear The truth: you probably won't change them. But these tactics can help you navigate things while you plan your move - And spot red flags before you sign up with your next manager. Have you had to manage your manager before? --- ♻️ Repost to support others who might be in a tough spot. And follow me George Stern for more practical workplace tips.

You won't always have a leader who works, communicates or has the same visions as you, so it’s important you learn to manage up to close the gaps. In my own experience, I learned what not to do from some of my leaders from watching them and experiencing their behaviors. Some of the leaders I struggled with the most forced me to reckon with my own shortcomings, like withholding my wants and needs, under communicating my business plans, and honing my desire to act first and ask for permission later ;) It’s important to learn the skills to effectively manage up: 1️⃣ Clarity: In your communication, goals, preferences and blind spots Tell your leader: ▫️How you prefer feedback, what your career goals are, how often you prefer communication and how, your pet peeves. Ask your leader: ▫️How they prefer feedback, what success looks like in their eyes, how often they desire communication from you and how, their pet peeves and what you can avoid. 2️⃣ Compassion: No one is perfect, we all have blind spots. Consider this: How would you treat your leader if you truly believed they were doing the best they could with the resources they've been given? 3️⃣ Curiosity: What can we learn from this that helps us grow? Ask yourself: ▫️What new approach do I need to try? ▫️What's in my control and what action steps need to be taken? At the end of the day it's important to remember that if your leader was perfect, it wouldn't give YOU the opportunity to use your unique skills and talents to fill the gap.

Your boss micromanaging you isn’t the problem. Your reaction is the reason you’re stuck. Most people get defensive: “Why don’t you trust me?” “Stop breathing down my neck.” That’s amateur thinking. Because micromanagement isn’t about you. It’s your boss protecting their own status, reputation, and risk. While you’re complaining, someone else is getting promoted by the same “difficult” boss. Here’s the leverage play: Solve their problem → buy freedom for yourself. Less oversight = bigger projects = more visibility = promotion. Scripts that flip the game: ❌ “Stop breathing down my neck.” ✅ “What updates would give you visibility, so I can keep momentum?” ❌ “You’re checking everything I do.” ✅ “Which milestones matter most to you, so I can focus my effort there?” ❌ “Why don’t you trust me?” ✅ “What would build your confidence, so I can run this end-to-end?” ❌ “You’re slowing me down.” ✅ “Could we set weekly check-ins, so I can deliver results without interruptions?” ❌ “Do you need to review every little thing?” ✅ “Which parts do you want to stay close to, so I can fully own the rest?” ❌ “Can you just let me do my job?” ✅ “Would a short summary give you confidence, so I can focus on execution?” Notice the pattern? You’re solving their problem, not pushing yours onto them. Most employees fight micromanagement and stall out. Leaders lower their boss’s anxiety—and earn the freedom to take on more. Promotion isn’t about doing your job better. It’s about making your boss’s job easier. 👉 What’s one move you’ve used to turn a difficult boss into an ally? Want more scripts like this? Follow me ( Karin Fourie ) for career playbooks that turn tough situations into promotion opportunities.