How to Break Industry Norms as a Woman

🥊 “Jingjin, have you ever considered that women are just inferior to men?” That was her opening line. The lady who challenged me was not a traditionalist in pearls. She was one of the top investment bankers of her time, closed billion-dollar deals, led global teams, the kind of woman whose voice dropped ten degrees when money was on the line. And she meant it. “Back in my day, if I had to hire, I’d always go for the man. No pregnancy leave. No PMS. No emotional volatility. Just less… liability.” And she doesn’t believe in what I do. Helping women lead from a place of wholeness. Because to her, wholeness is a luxury. Winning requires neutrality. And neutrality means: be less female and suck it up! I’ve heard versions of this many times, and too often, from high-performing women who "made it" by suppressing. But facts are: 🧠 There are no consistent brain differences between men and women that explain men’s “logic” or women’s “emotions.” 💥 Hormones impact everyone. Men’s testosterone drops when they nurture. Women’s cortisol rises in toxic workplaces, not because they’re weak, but because they’re sane. 📉 What we call “meritocracy” is often a reward system for those who can perform like they have no body, no children, no cycles. None of those are biologically male traits. They’re artifacts of a system built around male lives. So, if you're a woman who's bought into this logic, here are some counter-strategies: 🛠 1. Study Systems Like You Studied Deals Dissect the incentives, norms, and bias loops of your workplace the same way you’d break down a P&L. Don’t internalize what’s structural. 🧭 2. Redefine Strategic Strengths Stop mirroring alpha aggression to prove you belong. Deep listening, self-regulation, and nuance reading, these are leadership assets, not soft skills. Use them ruthlessly. 💬 3. Name It, Don’t Numb It If your hormones impact you one day a month, say so, but also say what it doesn’t mean: It doesn’t cancel out 29 days of clarity, strategy, and execution. 🪩 4. Build Your Own Meritocracy Start investing in spaces, networks, and cultures where your wholeness isn’t penalized. If none exist, build them. 🧱 5. Deconstruct Before You Self-Doubt When you catch yourself thinking “maybe I’m not built for this,” pause. Ask: Whose rules am I trying to win by? Who benefits when I question myself? This post isn’t about defending women. We don’t need defending. It’s about calling out the internalised metrics we still use to measure ourselves. 👊 And choosing to rewrite them. What’s the most 'rational' reason you’ve heard for why women are a liability?

Yesterday I led a workshop for women in private equity, and one theme kept surfacing: self-advocacy feels impossible when you’re already fighting to belong. It's the paradox these women face every day. They need to speak up more to get noticed, but when they do, they risk being labeled “aggressive.” They need to promote their wins, but they’ve been socialized to let their work speak for itself. They need to build relationships and visibility, but the informal networks often happen in spaces where they’re not invited. Nevertheless, self-advocacy isn’t optional, especially for women working in male-dominated industries. Research shows that women’s contributions are systematically attributed to others, that our ideas need to be repeated by men to be heard, and that our expertise is questioned more frequently than our male colleagues’. Self-advocacy isn’t about being pushy or aggressive. It’s about being intentional with your voice and strategic about your visibility. Here are four concrete ways to advocate for yourself starting today: 1. Master the “credit redirect” When someone repeats your idea, immediately respond with: “Thanks, John. I’m glad you’re building on the solution I proposed earlier. Let me expand on that framework…” This reclaims YOUR ownership while maintaining professionalism. 2. Document your wins in real-time Keep a “victory log” on your phone. After every meeting where you contribute, jot down what you said and any positive responses. Reference these specifics in performance reviews and promotion conversations. 3. Practice strategic amplification Find one trusted colleague who will amplify your contributions in meetings. Agree to do the same for them. When they share an idea, respond with: “Sarah’s point about the data analysis is exactly right, and it connects to…” This mutual support system works. 4. Lose the “self-shrinking” language.  Stop saying “I’m sorry to bother you.” Stop saying “Maybe we could…” Stop saying “I’m wondering if…” Stop saying “I’ll make it quick.” Take up space. Make your mark. Trust that you and your ideas are worthy of other people’s time, energy, and attention (and most certainly your own as well.) The reality is that in many industries, we’re still fighting to be heard. But we don’t have to fight alone, and we don’t have to wait for permission to advocate for ourselves. Your ideas deserve to be heard and you deserve credit for the value you bring. What’s one way you’ve learned to advocate for yourself at work? The women in yesterday’s workshop had some brilliant strategies to share too. #womenleaders #privateequity #womeninmaledominatedindustries

Here’s a story I recently heard from a woman executive coaching client, and my advice for her. I’m posting it here because I know it will resonate with many women. It’s a common challenge. “A colleague—someone who’s known me for decades—assumes he knows me inside out. His narrative? Built on fragments of ‘observations’, spun from threads of opinion and confirmation bias. In truth, what he “knows” about me wouldn’t fill a thimble.” 📌 Here's My Advice: 1. Empower Your Narrative: Define yourself by your truths, not by the stories others tell about you. Own your achievements and highlight your unique strengths. 2. Challenge Assumptions Actively: Engage in open dialogue to dismantle misconceptions. Use facts, figures, and results-driven narratives to underscore your professional identity. 3. Seek Allies: Cultivate a network of peers who understand your value and can support your vision. Collaboration with informed colleagues enhances credibility. 4. Stay Resilient: Opinions based on bias can echo in boardrooms, but resilience is key. Continue to show up with authenticity and confidence in your capabilities. 5. Mentor and Advocate: Influence change by mentoring the next generation of women leaders. Share experiences and educate others about the nuances of bias in professional settings. Remember, as women leaders, our stories deserve to be told accurately and with respect. Empower yourself, challenge biases, and shape your professional legacy on your terms. #WomenInLeadership #BreakingTheBias #Empowerment #ExecutiveLeadership #WomenInBusiness #LinkedInWisdom

I’ve got 5 ways you can elevate our organizations out of toxic, outdated gender stereotypes. For years, I navigated professional spaces where women in leadership were subtly, or not so subtly, told to stay in their place. Too often, women who take charge (especially in the workplace) are ridiculed and diminished. It’s a mentality that undercuts the capabilities of female leaders by framing assertiveness as something unnatural for women. Even though we’ve made progress, we continue to allow these stereotypes to dictate our organizations today. How many talented women hold back from leading, contributing, and shaping the future of their companies simply to avoid being labeled as "too bossy" or "too controlling"? These harmful narratives don’t just limit women—they limit the growth of the entire organization. Here’s how we can reshape these outdated narratives: 1. Recognize leadership, not gender, in assessing authority and decision-making abilities. 2. Challenge sexist language and eliminate phrases like "wearing the pants" that reinforce harmful stereotypes. 3. Empower women to lead authentically, ensuring their voices are heard and valued in executive decision-making. 4. Foster a culture of inclusion, where leadership is defined by capability and vision, not by traditional gender roles. 5. Actively support diverse leadership teams, creating environments where different perspectives fuel innovation and growth. Breaking free from these gendered stereotypes isn’t just a moral imperative—it’s a strategic advantage. Diverse leadership teams perform better, innovate more, and foster inclusive company cultures that attract and retain top talent.

Women earn 59% of bachelor's degrees but hold only 29% of C-suite roles. Why? I read a Harvard Business Review article about "experience capital" recently. It talked about how women aren't building enough on-the-job experience in roles that directly drive revenue and show P&L impact—the exact experience that leads to C-suite promotions. I started at VI as a temporary receptionist in 2000. In 2022, I was named President. I can attest to what the article said: What you learn on the job matters more than what you learn in school. And right now, AI presents a massive opportunity for women to leapfrog ahead.  If I were starting over at a lower rung on the corporate ladder, here’s what I’d be doing to give myself a better shot at getting into a revenue-driving role: • Spending my free time possible sharpening my AI skills • Looking for problems that AI could solve at my company • Being the one to propose solutions to those problems  • Being the person others come to with AI questions • Using AI for my tasks before someone tells me to Too many women wait to be tapped for opportunities instead of creating them. Men negotiate harder and take bigger risks. That’s the societal norm. But you don’t have to accept societal norms. You don’t just have to do what you’re told. Admin roles are getting swallowed by AI, so don't just keep your head down. Look where the future's heading and level up now. I promise: You’re the only one holding yourself back. 

Recently, I took the phrase "moved up the career ladder" out of my professional story. Why? Because it's not a ladder. The traditional career ladder is basically a pyramid scheme in a pantsuit. You know the drill: "Keep your head down, work hard, and you'll get promoted." I fell for this line harder than I fell for "just five more minutes" every morning for the past decade. The result? Apparently, my reward for crushing goals was... more goals. Revolutionary, huh? Meanwhile, I watched mediocre men get promoted for "potential" while I was still proving I deserved the role I was already doing. Another plot twist: The ladder was never broken. It just wasn't built for women. Here's what nobody tells you about goal-setting: Stop trying to climb someone else's ladder and start building your own escalator. The game-changer isn't self-improvement—it's strategic relationship building. Not the "let's grab coffee and talk about synergy" kind of networking. I'm talking about the deep stuff: → Audit your network. Are they decision-makers or just really good at LinkedIn engagement? → Reconnect with dormant relationships (New Year = perfect excuse to slide into professional DMs) → Build your personal board of directors (because every CEO needs one, and so do you) The most successful women I know didn't climb—they pivoted, side-stepped, and sometimes burned the whole ladder down to build something better. Your career isn't a video game with linear levels. It's more like jazz—improvisation, rhythm, and knowing when to take the solo. So what's your next move? Building a bridge, burning a ladder, or creating something entirely new? Drop it in the comments—I'm here for all the career rebellion. 🔥 #CareerStrategy #WomenInBusiness #NetworkingDoneRight #CareerPivot #womeninbusiness #womeninstem #whartonwomeninbusiness #whartonwomen

When my 9-year-old said he wanted to be an entrepreneur "like Mumma," I realized I wasn't just building a business, I was building his definition of normal. Growing up, I never saw women in logistics. When I joined my family business Safexpress after my Cambridge degree, I was often the only woman in boardrooms filled with seasoned industry veterans. The questions were always the same: "Are you sure you can handle this?" "Don't you think this industry is too tough for women?" But here's what I learned at Ernst & Young and later at Safeducate: the biggest barriers aren't the ones others build for you. They're the ones you build for yourself. When I started converting shipping containers into mobile classrooms in 2015, people thought I was crazy. "Who's going to take education seriously from a woman teaching out of a truck container?" Today, we've trained thousands through those same mobile skill centers and secured over ₹30 crore in government contracts. As Chairperson of YFLO Delhi, I saw how powerful it becomes when women stop asking for permission and start creating their own opportunities. When the pandemic hit and threatened everything we'd built, we didn't just survive, we launched Seekho and proved that resilience doesn't have gender limitations. That's the revolution I'm most proud of. Not the awards or recognition. Not even the business success. It's watching my children grow up in a world where a woman running companies, speaking at Harvard, and building movements isn't extraordinary, it's just another great day. If my journey shows anything, it's this: Every bold step a woman takes today quietly rewrites what's "normal" for tomorrow. So here’s my question to you: What barrier are you ready to prove doesn't actually exist? #BecauseSheCan #Leadership

Navigating Solo Business Trips in a Male-Dominated Industry: Challenges and Strategies 🧳💼 As a professional in the pump engineering sector, a field predominantly occupied by men, solo business trips present unique challenges. These trips are essential for knowledge exchange, networking, and driving projects forward. However, they can also be a litmus test for diversity, equality, and inclusion in our industry. 👥🌍 1. Overcoming Preconceptions: In male-dominated fields, there's often an unconscious bias that can surface during interactions. Being the only woman in meetings or at industry events can lead to being underestimated or overlooked. It's important to assert your expertise and contributions confidently. Sharing insights in industry publications, like 'Empowering Pumps and Systems' magazine, can help establish your authority before you even step into the room. 💪📚 2. Networking Nuances: Networking is a cornerstone of business trips, but the dynamics can be different for women. There's a fine line between professional camaraderie and unwanted attention. To navigate this, focus on building a network based on mutual professional respect and shared interests. Engage in discussions on platforms like 'Empowering Women in Industry', creating connections that are professional and empowering. 🤝🗣️ 3. Safety and Comfort: Safety is a paramount concern. Research your destination, choose accommodations in safe areas, and be aware of cultural norms, especially when traveling internationally. Carry necessary contact information and stay connected with your team back home. 🌐🔒 4. Balancing Assertiveness and Approachability: Being assertive is key in establishing your presence, but it's equally important to be approachable and collaborative. Striking this balance demonstrates leadership qualities and fosters a respectful professional environment. ⚖️🤗 5. Dealing with Isolation: Solo trips can be isolating. To combat this, reach out to local colleagues or connections you've made through industry networks. Engaging with local chapters of professional societies can also provide a sense of community. 🌟🤝 6. Representing Diversity: As a woman in a male-dominated industry, your presence on business trips also represents the progress towards diversity and inclusion. Your success and professionalism can challenge stereotypes and inspire other women considering careers in STEM fields. 🚀👩🔬 Solo business trips in a male-dominated industry are more than just logistical endeavors; they are opportunities to break barriers and foster a more inclusive professional environment. By embracing these challenges with confidence and strategic networking, we not only contribute to our personal growth but also pave the way for greater gender diversity in our industries. 🌈💪 Let's keep breaking barriers and paving the way for more gender diversity in our industry! #Engineering #WomenInSTEM #Diversity #EmpoweringWomen #NetworkingStrategies #STEM #WomenInWater

Some of the lies that I have been told to follow if I wanted to appear "professional" and successful as a woman... Wear glasses so you look older and smarter. People will respect you more. For a woman to be respected as a professional she must look completely polished at all times. (Hair, makeup, nails, eyebrows, clothes, shoes... even if the men are wearing tennis shoes and ballcaps.) Conservative equals Professional - take out your nose ring, hide your tattoos, wear your hair a certain way. Having a spouse and family demonstrates success and stability. Hide your neurodiversity at all costs. Pretend that you are straight at all costs. Kill yourself trying, but make it appear effortless. Be flawless. I could probably run out of allowable characters trying to list them all. I recently posted an older professional headshot of myself next to a new one. The older photo was polished. Put together. Perfect. The new photo was spur of the moment. Off the cuff. Almost no time to prepare. A lot of people weighed in on the post, and overwhelmingly the response was, "we like the new one, because it feels more authentic and much more like the real you." I started thinking back to all of the things that I have been told throughout my career would make me appear more professional and make me more successful, and boy were there some doozies. So now I am curious, what are some of the things that you have been told? #Authenticity #WomenInBusiness #FemaleEmpowerment #tattoos #neurodiversity #LGBTQ