Challenges women face in asking for career favors

“I’ll wait until I tick every box.” “Maybe the offer’s fair...I don’t want to seem pushy.” Sound familiar? These quiet thoughts cost women billions in lifetime earnings — and keep leadership benches less diverse than they could be. Why do we play it safe? 1. Perfection is (still) praised. Internal research first highlighted at HP and later studied by HBR found that women hesitate to apply unless they meet essentially all the stated requirements, while men jump in at around 60%. 2. The negotiation backlash is real. Experiments show women expect (and sometimes receive) social penalties for asking. Clarity helps: when job ads explicitly say “salary negotiable,” the gender gap in applications and negotiations narrows dramatically. 3. Early conditioning runs deep. Researchers have traced a “negotiation gap” back to elementary‑school‑aged girls, long before the first paycheck lands. Put together, these forces teach many women to over‑qualify first, then accept whatever’s offered — quickly. The outcome? Smaller raises, slower career velocity, and fewer female role models at the top. How we can flip the script: • Hiring teams: Rewrite job posts in plain language, list true must‑haves, and state when pay is negotiable. • Leaders: Tie performance reviews to equitable hiring and pay metrics. • Allies & mentors: Normalize sharing salary bands and negotiation playbooks. Transparency beats guesswork. • Women at every stage: Apply when you meet most of the criteria, not all. Practice “collaborative negotiation” that links your ask to the value you’ll deliver. If you’ve ever talked yourself out of an application or left an offer un‑negotiated (I have, too), let’s break the pattern together. Drop one tactic that helped you ask for more—or tag someone who showed you how. The more stories we share, the faster we change the data.

I recently coached an executive who was thinking hard about whether to ask for a promotion. She hesitated, caught between ambition and doubt. “I don’t want to seem pushy,” she admitted. “But if I don’t ask, I might be waiting forever.” I shared insights from a Harvard Business Review article that talks about the myths that often hold women back in negotiations. Many of us have been taught to believe that men negotiate more than women, that women must always negotiate pay, or that backlash is inevitable when they do. These myths are misleading and, worse, they reinforce outdated gender norms that limit opportunities. (1) Myth #1: Men Negotiate, Women Don’t Both men and women negotiate—but for different things. Research shows that women negotiate roles, flexibility, and workload as often as men negotiate pay and job offers. The real issue isn’t whether women negotiate, but whether they are met with more resistance when they do. (2) Myth #2: Women Should Always Negotiate Pay The gender wage gap is not just about pay differences—it’s about the types of jobs men and women hold. While women should absolutely advocate for fair pay, supporting their advancement into leadership roles has an even greater impact on closing the wage gap. (3) Myth #3: Backlash Is Inevitable Many women worry that advocating for themselves will make them seem aggressive or unlikeable. While bias exists, leaders can shift the narrative by educating managers and themselves, encouraging broader career negotiations (beyond pay), and normalizing women’s ambition. After talking through these myths and ideas, the executive decided to go ahead and ask for that promotion. But she didn’t just walk in and demand it. Instead, she framed her request strategically: She led with facts – She highlighted her results: “I’ve exceeded my targets for the past two years and led initiatives that were really beneficial to the firm.” (She backed this up with data and quantified the benefits.) She made it a win-win – “With a VP title, I can expand our client base and strengthen key partnerships.” She asked with confidence – Not “Would you consider it?” but “What would it take to make this happen?” She got the promotion. More importantly, she walked away feeling empowered, knowing she had advocated for herself effectively. We are in a unique moment where work is being redefined. If we want to create a more equitable future, we must challenge these outdated myths and reshape how we think about negotiation. #Leadership #Negotiation #CareerGrowth #WomenAtWork #Learning #Confidence https://lnkd.in/eZchz7jN

Breaking Barriers to Asking for Promotion. I know asking for a promotion can be tough. I recently conducted a LinkedIn poll, and the results were telling: 48% said that "initiating the conversation" is the most significant obstacle when asking for a promotion. 33% struggle with managing objections or rejection, while 11% find negotiating the terms to be the hardest part. These challenges are real, and they’re supported by research from Forbes and Harvard Business Review. Confidence plays a big role here. Studies show that people, especially women, are less likely to apply for promotions unless they meet 100% of the qualifications, while men apply when they meet just 60%. This often comes from societal expectations and workplace cultures that don’t always support taking risks. There’s also the fear of being labeled as too aggressive when negotiating, which can make the promotion process even more daunting. 😱 The effects of these barriers are significant. Those who hesitate to ask for promotions often find themselves stuck in their careers, contributing to a lack of diversity in leadership roles. Globally, only 24% of senior management positions are held by women, a figure that hasn’t changed much over the years. This underrepresentation isn’t just a personal issue, it impacts entire organizations. Companies with more diverse leadership tend to perform better, yet many miss out because of this reluctance to ask for promotions. So, how do we overcome these barriers? 1️⃣ Preparation is key. Documenting your achievements and aligning them with company goals can help you make a strong case for a promotion and build your confidence. 2️⃣ Confidence also grows with practice and support. Allyship and professional networks can provide valuable guidance. And knowing your worth, understanding industry standards and promotion criteria will empower you to negotiate more effectively. 3️⃣ Organizations need to create environments where women feel empowered to ask for promotions. This means having transparent promotion processes and leadership programs that address the unique challenges women face. For women, asking for a promotion is a bold but necessary step. It’s about setting clear career goals and advocating for yourself. For leaders, it’s time to address any unconscious biases that may be holding women back. Asking for a promotion isn’t just about your own growth; it’s about breaking down barriers that have long existed in the workplace. Let’s keep this conversation going—share your experiences or tips in the comments below!

For many women, self-advocacy in the workplace doesn't come naturally. I've worked with countless talented, high-achieving women who hesitate to negotiate salaries, ask for promotions, or even take credit for their hard work. Why? Because we've been conditioned to work hard, keep our heads down, and hope that our efforts speak for themselves. But here's the reality: opportunities don't always come to those who wait - they come to those who ask. I've seen firsthand how advocating for yourself can be the difference between feeling undervalued and stepping into the career you truly deserve. 📌 Here are three things I encourage my clients to do when advocating for themselves at work: ✅ Know Your Value – Keep a running list of your accomplishments, major wins, and the measurable impact you've made. When the time comes for a raise or promotion, you'll have tangible proof to support your case. ✅ Use Your Voice – Speak up in meetings, share your ideas, and make your presence known. If you've ever held back from contributing, ask yourself: Would I hesitate to say this if I were a man? Confidence grows with practice! ✅ Ask for What You Deserve – Salary negotiations? Leadership roles? Flexible work arrangements? Don't assume someone else will recognize your worth—initiate the conversation. Every time I help a client successfully negotiate a raise or land a leadership role, it's a reminder that asking is half the battle. 📊 Did you know? Women still earn, on average, 84 cents for every dollar earned by men (and the gap is even wider for women of color). Advocating for yourself isn't just about personal growth - it's about closing these gaps for future generations. ✨ What's one piece of career advice you'd give to a woman entering your industry? Drop it in the comments! ⬇️ #WomensHistory #CareerGrowth #WomenInLeadership #SelfAdvocacy #SalaryNegotiation #EmpowerWomen

She was called "bossy" for the same behavior that made him CEO. This double standard is costing brilliant women their careers. A woman in my network reached out frustrated last week. She'd been passed over for promotion again. The feedback? Her leadership style was "too aggressive" and she needed to "tone it down." Meanwhile, her male peer who joined the same month just got promoted to VP. His leadership style? "Decisive and results-driven." Same behaviors. Same results. Completely different labels. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘀: 📊 Women face backlash for assertive behavior that men get praised for. 📊 We're 25% less likely to ask for specific salary amounts. 📊 The same actions get labeled differently based on gender. 𝟯 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵-𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸: ✅ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 "𝗔𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆": Obama's female staffers used this successfully, when one woman made a point, others repeated it and credited her. Build allies who will amplify your contributions. ✅ 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 "𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲": Research shows women succeed when framing requests as benefiting the team. Say "This would help our team achieve..." instead of "I want..." ✅ 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 "𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲": Studies show women interrupt themselves and speak hesitantly. Count to three before responding to pushback, silence projects confidence. The system isn't neutral. But with the right strategies, we can advance despite the double standards we face. I have 4 more research-backed strategies that have helped hundreds of women in our community navigate workplace bias successfully. Comment GUIDE below and I'll send you the complete guide with specific scripts and examples. What labels have you encountered when advocating for yourself? ♻️ Share this if someone in your network needs it. #WomenInLeadership #GenderBias #WorkplaceStrategy #CareerAdvancement #Leadership

Let’s stop telling women to “just ask” for what they want. We’ve BEEN asking. The world just hasn’t been listening. New research out of Vanderbilt debunks the myth that women don’t negotiate. In fact, 54% of women MBA grads reported negotiating their job offers, compared to 44% of men. In promotion conversations, women again outpaced men: 64% vs. 59%. And yet... we’re still more likely to be rejected. We’re not the problem, the system is. The gender pay gap has actually widened in recent years. In 2023, women earned just 82.7 cents on the dollar. And 10 years after getting an MBA? Women’s earnings drop to just 63% of their male peers. This isn’t about “asking harder.” It’s about finally being heard and being compensated fairly when we are. According to new research from Harvard Business Review, even when more women enter a profession, progress stalls after what they call the tipping point, when women make up more than 14% of a job category.  Early on, adding more women shrinks the wage gap fast. But after that point? Companies slow their efforts, they assume the problem is solved. That’s what researchers call the false summit, when it looks like we’ve reached equity, but in reality, we still have a long way to climb. I’ve seen this play out firsthand. A friend of mine recently walked away from 2 months of unpaid work. Why? Because she trusted a client who was also a friend. No contract. No payment. Just a handshake and good faith. She delivered. They didn’t. As women, we’ve been taught to lead with compassion, connection, and trust. But too often, that trust gets used against us. And when we do ask, set boundaries, or push back, we’re labeled “difficult.” It’s exhausting. So here’s what I know to be true: 💜 You can be kind and still require a contract.  💜 You can lead with heart and still protect your time, energy, and worth.  💜 You don’t need to toughen up. You need to stand your ground and expect others to respect it. We don’t need to fix the women, we need to fix the system. This isn’t about gender wars. It’s about human first leadership, transparency, and refusing to settle for performative equity. Women are doing the work. It’s time the rest of the world caught up. #GenderPayGap #Leadership #WomenInBusiness #PayEquity #CareerAdvice