Ways women undermine their credibility

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

The credibility leak in your executive brand is killing your advancement. And you don't even know it's happening. A Managing Director just lost a C-suite opportunity. Not because she lacked results—but because during a final panel interview, she apologized three times for "taking up their time." The hiring committee's feedback? "Strong operator. Not ready for the boardroom." After 25+ years in financial services, I've watched countless executives unknowingly sabotage their advancement through small behaviors that scream "I don't belong here." 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗞𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘀: 𝟭. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗼𝘅 "Sorry to bother you..." "If I could just have a moment..." "When you get a chance..." Every qualifier erodes your authority. You're not an interruption. You're an executive with business to conduct. 𝟮. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿-𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗽 Watched an MD spend 15 minutes justifying a straightforward budget decision. The more you explain, the less confident you appear. State your position. Let it breathe. 𝟯. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝗴𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲 Your email auto-response apologizes for delays. Your LinkedIn shows you "aspiring" to the role you already deserve. These micro-messages compound into macro-impressions. 𝟰. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗕𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘆𝗮𝗹 Taking a seat on the 'overflow' perimeter of the meeting room instead of an available spot literally at the table.  Looking down while speaking. The nervous laugh after making a strong point. 𝟱. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗩𝗮𝗰𝘂𝘂𝗺 "I was thinking..." "This might be wrong, but..." "I'm not sure if this makes sense..." Stop negotiating against yourself before anyone else even enters the ring. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗶𝘅 𝗜𝘀 𝗦𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸: → Replace "Sorry to bother you" with "I need your input on X" → Replace "This might be wrong" with "My recommendation is" → Replace "When you have time" with "Let's connect Tuesday" → Replace the nervous laugh with a pause → Replace justification with declaration Your expertise got you here. But these credibility leaks are keeping you from where you belong. The executives who make it to the C-suite aren't necessarily smarter. They've just stopped apologizing for taking up space. 💭 Which credibility leak are you springing without realizing it? Name it below—awareness is the first step to stopping the leak. ------------ ♻️ Share with an executive whose brilliance is being dimmed by these habits ➕ Follow Courtney Intersimone for more truth about commanding executive presence

I calculated the cost of my deflection habit. It was $847,000. That's what I lost over 8 years by saying "it was nothing" instead of owning my expertise. Here's what playing small actually costs high-achieving women: 💸 Salary negotiations: $15-30K annually when you downplay achievements 💸 Speaking fees: $5-25K per event you don't pitch for because "others are more qualified" 💸 Consulting opportunities: $50-150K annually in expertise monetization 💸 Promotions: 1-2 years delayed advancement = $25-75K in lifetime earnings 💸 Board positions: $25-100K+ in director fees you never pursue The pattern? We've been trained to make ourselves smaller. Last month, I watched a brilliant consultant deflect a compliment about her strategy work with "Oh, anyone could have done that." The CEO in the room? He believed her. She just talked herself out of a $200K retainer. Your deflection habit isn't humility. It's expensive. What's one achievement you've downplayed this week that was actually incredible? PS: The women who learn to say Thank You; It's True.™ don't just feel better about themselves. They get paid what they're worth. #ThankYouItsTrue #ConfidenceIntoCash

“If you never say no, your yes loses value.” Think about that for a moment! A good portion of my clients are women who work in corporate America. As a dual-certified career strategist, I’ve found far too many of them have tied their self-worth to being seen as agreeable, always available, and always saying “yes.” But here’s the thing I remind them in our coaching sessions: 👉 Saying yes to everything doesn’t make you indispensable — it makes you depleted. 👉 Saying yes doesn’t elevate your credibility — it dilutes your impact. 👉 Saying yes to everything doesn’t make you a leader — it often traps you in a cycle of reactive work and invisible labor. The truth is: “Yes” culture has a cost. And it’s time to get honest about the emotional toll of always being available, agreeable, and accommodating. Some of my clients believe it’s “career suicide” to say no, especially to senior leadership, high-stakes projects, or team requests. Once we engage in new thought to avoid the knee-jerk reaction of saying “yes” and strengthen the “no” muscle something remarkable happens. Women who flex that “no” muscle are more likely to be viewed as strategic leaders. They gain influence in high-stakes conversations. They stop being the go-to for everything and instead become the go-to for the things that add true value to an organization. That shift changes how they’re seen, how they’re compensated, as well as how they scale in their careers. Here’s what I want to tell every high-achieving professional woman who’s been running on hustle autopilot: You don’t have to earn your worth by overextending yourself. When you say “no” with intention, you say “yes” to… • Long-term career vision • Mental clarity and emotional bandwidth • Real respect from your peers and leaders It’s no accident that the leaders who scale are the ones who say no with grace and confidence. They’re not trying to prove themselves — they’re prioritizing what moves the needle. So, let’s talk about the don’ts of saying yes: ❌ Don’t say yes out of fear, guilt, or the need to be liked. ❌ Don’t say yes before considering the opportunity cost. ❌ Don’t confuse saying yes with being strategic. And the do’s of saying no: ✅ Do say no to preserve your energy for your highest contribution. ✅ Do say no to signal your clarity of vision. ✅ Do say no so your yes holds real weight. Boundaries don’t make you less committed. They make you more credible. Being valuable isn’t about being everywhere — it’s about showing up where it counts. The next time your inbox is full and someone says, “Can you just...?” Take a pause. Ask: Does this create value? Is this mine to carry? And if the answer is no, honor it. Where in your workweek could a clear no create more space for what truly matters? Share your thoughts in the comments.

It’s not one big mistake that kills trust… It’s your tiny daily habits. Most successful leaders know: relationships rarely fall apart because of one big incident. It’s the small, daily habits in how we speak that quietly erode trust over time. (Join Justin Bateh and me for more about how to recognize the hidden signals that erode trust on Aug 26th: https://lnkd.in/gvwchpk9) Research shows that these seemingly minor behaviors have a huge impact on how others perceive your leadership: 1. The Interrupter ❌ Cutting others off sends the message, “My ideas matter more than yours.” Even well-intentioned interruptions can chip away at psychological safety. 2. The Dismisser ❌ Phrases like “That’s not important right now” or “Let’s move on,” and dismissive body language (eye rolls, checking your phone) make people feel unheard. 3. The Credibility Underminer ❌ Constantly saying “kind of,” “maybe,” or “I think” leaves you sounding uncertain, even when you’re not. 4. The Non-Listener ❌ Not following up or paraphrasing responses shows disinterest. When you pass up a chance to say, “Tell me more,” you miss a moment to build connection. 5. The Inconsistent Gazer ❌ Erratic eye contact creates subtle discomfort. People wonder if you’re hiding something—or not fully present. As a coach to women executives, I often see these patterns affect female leaders more. Many of us were raised to be “nice” rather than direct, which can unintentionally undercut our authority. The upside? Small changes make a big difference: ✅ Stop and focus on what they other person feels is important right now ✅ Instead of interrupting, take a breath and let them finish ✅ Say what you want to say (and skip the qualifiers) ✅ Ask one qualifying question before moving on ✅ Practice keeping eye contact for 3 seconds Trust isn’t built on grand gestures, but on consistent, respectful communication. P.S. What habits have you noticed in your workplace? (I’ve been guilty of being an Interrupter and a Dismisser due to rushing) ♻️ Repost to help others build trust through conversation Follow me, Jill Avey for more leadership insights Research: Academy of Management Review https://lnkd.in/g-wxFvzr

I speak with women everyday who want to become thought leaders in their space. But most of them are making 4 key mistakes that are costing them their credibility: I see it all the time – brilliant women, incredible expertise, years of experience. Yet, when it comes to building authority and becoming a thought leader in their industry? They all make the same mistakes: 1. They Don’t Tell Their Own Story Women are fantastic at talking about other people’s success. But when I scroll through their LinkedIn, I see nothing about themselves. If you never share your journey, your struggles, and your insights – why should anyone trust you? 2. They Get Storytelling All Wrong Your audience won’t appreciate your highs if they never see your lows. Here's an example: One of my clients helps adults return to college. She talks about the “comebackers” she supports. But SHE'S also a comebacker herself. Yet, nowhere in her content does she mention her own experience. That story is her credibility. But she wasn’t leveraging it. 3. They Bury the Lead I’ve worked with women who've signed billion-dollar deals, led Fortune 500 initiatives, and even painted portraits of Nelson Mandela. But when you ask them to introduce themselves? They all start with the same: “I have a dog and live in Williamsburg.” I always tell them that their most powerful and credibility-building moment shouldn’t be a footnote. It should be the first thing out of your mouth. 4. They Let Limiting Beliefs Hold Them Back I hear it all the time: - "No one will read this" - "People will judge me" - "I don’t have anything new to say" And my answer is always the same: ↳ Everyone will read this ↳ Your unique experiences make your insights one-of-a-kind ↳ People are already judging you, so you might as well own the narrative Here’s a quick exercise to fix these issues: ✔️ Decide you are the subject matter expert – no one is going to grant you permission. You have to claim it. ✔️ Write down every limiting belief you have – then write the exact opposite and shift the script. ✔️ Use scripts to help frame your message. I share scripts constantly because they’re what saved me in my TV career – and now I use them to help women step into their expertise (reply in the comments with the word "SCRIPT" and I'll shoot them your way). Here's the thing you have to remember: You already have the experience. And you already have the credibility. All that's left for you to do is to step up and own it.

Let's stop sabotaging our own credibility at work. These phrases are silently undermining your authority: 1.⁠ ⁠"This is probably a stupid question..." → You're self-diminishing 2.⁠ ⁠"I'm not an expert, however..." → You're discrediting yourself 3.⁠ ⁠"I might be wrong, but..." → You're pre-apologizing Instead, here's what builds credibility: 1.⁠ ⁠Own your expertise → "In my experience..." 2.⁠ ⁠State your point directly → "Based on my analysis..." 3.⁠ ⁠Ask questions confidently → "I'd like to understand..." My transformation over the years: 1.⁠ ⁠I constantly sought validation → now I trust my judgment 2.⁠ ⁠I would hedge every statement → now I speak with conviction 3.⁠ ⁠I used to apologize before every suggestion → now I present solutions The shift changed everything for me. Your words shape how others perceive you. ↳ But more importantly, they shape how you perceive yourself. Your goal isn't to sound humble at every turn. ↳ It's to communicate with the confidence your ideas deserve. Less hedging, please → More leading. Monday credibility check, complete. (Share this) P.S. Which of these phrases do you catch yourself using most? I'd love to hear your thoughts. #workplace #communication

I’ve cracked a leadership role at Amazon. If I were to do it again in 2025, I would NEVER DO what most high-achieving women are doing. Not because they’re not smart enough. But because they’re following a strategy that’s built to keep them invisible. Let me explain. Most women I coach are: → Working harder than anyone else in the room → Quietly managing massive scope without credit → Waiting for someone to “notice” and promote them → Still playing safe when it comes to networking or self-promotion If I had to do it all over again, I’d do it differently: 1. I’d stop leading with responsibilities, and start speaking like a decision-maker. Too many women say things like “Handled stakeholder meetings” or “Managed a team of 6.” Here’s what works better: → “Facilitated alignment across 4 departments, reducing product launch delays by 30%.” → “Led cross-functional roadmap planning that unlocked $1.2M in new revenue.” Before any interview or resume update, write 3 sentences starting with: → “What changed because of me was...” → “The business impact I drove was...” → “The bottleneck I unblocked was...” 2. I’d stop asking for feedback like I’m asking for permission. Too many talented women say things like: → *“Let me know if that made sense?” → “Was that okay?” Instead say: → “Here’s the result, and here’s what I’d improve next time.” → “This initiative moved us closer to [goal], and I’ve already flagged areas for iteration.” 3. I’d build a reputation outside my team — on purpose. You’re too valuable to stay a best-kept secret. → Volunteer for one company-wide initiative this quarter. → Host a brown bag session or share insights in an internal Slack channel. → Ask 3 people from other teams for 15-min coffee chats to understand their work (and share yours). This is exactly what we did with a client of mine inside The Fearless Hire.  She had 11+ years in product, but never cracked Director-level interviews. We worked on: → Reframing her career story into a business narrative → Practicing how to speak with executive presence → Expanding her network strategically Result She landed a Director role at a Fortune 500 company ,and didn’t even have to finish her interview pipeline. To every high-achieving woman reading this: You’re already qualified. Now it’s time to be seen as undeniable. 📌 Save this post if leadership is on your radar. Share it with someone looking to land a high-paying role. P.S. DM me "Career" to apply for The Fearless Hire - my career accelerator for ambitious women. Let's build a strategy that positions you as the obvious choice for $200k+ roles.

I need to be more professional. I used to whisper this before every meeting (anyone else?!). Double-checking emails 5 times. Starting every suggestion with "I might be wrong, but..." Until my mentor pulled me aside and said: "Trying to be perfect is making you invisible." Let's get real about what many rising leaders get wrong: Being "too professional or too perfect" isn't about your outfit or formal emails. It's about the invisible barriers you put between yourself and your power. 7 Credibility Killers You Need to Stop: 1. Emotional transparency at the wrong moments ↳ Getting visibly frustrated when challenged ↳ Instead: Respond with curiosity, assume positive intent 2. Using hesitant language ↳ "I was just wondering...", "This might be stupid, but..." ↳ Instead: Say "I recommend..." or "Here's what I think..." 3. Over-apologizing for normal situations ↳ Saying "Sorry for the late reply" after 2 hours ↳ Instead: Save "sorry" for real mistakes 4. Always seeking permission ↳ Checking obvious decisions, asking for many opinions ↳ Instead: Own your area like the expert you are 5. Minimizing your value ↳ "I just got lucky" or brushing off compliments ↳ Instead: Simply say "thank you" and claim your contribution 6. Failing to advocate for yourself ↳ Waiting to be "discovered" for good work ↳ Instead: Share your wins and ask for what you want 7. Avoiding conflict at all costs ↳ Agreeing just to keep peace ↳ Instead: Challenge ideas, not people, stand firm in your expertise Plot twist: I now lead a team of 50. The secret? I stopped hiding behind professionalism and started leading with authenticity. You don't need to prove your worth by playing it safe. You deserve to be valued for showing up fully. Let's freaking GOOO! 💪 Tell me your story of perfectionism in the comments! ♻️ Share this with someone who needs to hear it Resume Assassin Resume Sidekick #resume #jobopening #gethired #career

Enough already!! Please stop saying this right now! There are few sentences starter more irksome, more undermining, or frustrating from a leader who's sharing her thoughts than "I think..." I get it: 🔵 Women get called too assertive or, worse, aggressive for putting their ideas forward without padding. 🔵 Women, especially, like to make the distinction between their beliefs and hard facts. 🔵 When you're not 100% sure what you're saying is THE RIGHT thing, "I think" seems like a great way to introduce your doubt. But "I think" - especially when repeated every other sentence - strips you of authority, confidence, and trust. Read the following out loud. "I think that saying "I think" weakens your position. Maybe if you chose different words, I think you would be able to make your point with more authority. And if you do that, I think the people you're speaking to will feel more confident about your position, but that's just my opinion." Compare it to this: "Based on my experience and several studies, saying, "I think" weakens your position. A different word choice could allow you to make your point with more authority. Since authority is fundamentally about trust, the people you're speaking to would feel more confident about your position." Which one makes you feel more confident? Everything you do, every word you say, sets the tone for how people will see and respond to you. If someone is asking for your opinion, they know it's your opinion. You don't need to say, "I think." If they ask for your expertise, share facts as facts and your hypotheses as hypotheses. My clients, Noteworthy executives, learn how to own their authority, level up their presence, and step into their power so they can lead more effectively, without apology, and without having to be anything more or less than their true selves. ❓ What's one phrase or expression that rattles you❓ I'll share another one of my pet peeves in the comments. #leadershiptraining #executivewomen #womeninstem #womeninfinance #coachingforwomen