How to Protect Credibility in Male-Dominated Networks

🤏🏼 It takes so little for men to be trusted as leaders 🤏🏼 And it takes so little for women to be questioned as one. When I took my first Senior Director role in Germany, deep in the male-dominated automotive world, my future boss and I had a quiet heart-to-heart. “Jingjin, in this world, women in power are seen in only two ways: The Victim or The Villain. There is no third option, at least not yet. Which one you choose will define your entire leadership path.” I said I’d be a Victor. Naively believing performance alone would protect me. It didn’t. Because Leadership isn’t just about competence. It’s about perception. And perception for women is often rigged. 🔻 Be firm → You're a bitch 🔻 Be soft → You're weak 🔻 Be nurturing → You're not tough enough 🔻 Be assertive → You’re intimidating 🔻 Be collaborative → You lack authority 🔻 Show ambition → You’re self-serving 🔻 Set boundaries → You’re difficult 🔻 Show emotion → You’re unstable Meanwhile, men doing the exact same things? They’re seen as confident, visionary, and decisive. The game isn't fair, but it can be hacked. 💥 Here’s how I’ve learned to play it smarter, not smaller: 1. Stop aiming to be liked. Aim to be trusted.    Likability is a moving target. Respect isn’t.     2. Use duality to your advantage.    Be warm in tone, cold in logic.    Kind in delivery, fierce in boundaries.    That’s power wrapped in emotional intelligence.     3. Make allies before you need them.    Don’t wait until you're under fire.    Visibility without relationship capital = exposure.     4. Own the label, then flip it.    “Yes, I’m intense. That’s how we hit targets others thought were impossible.” Say it before they do, and reclaim it.     👊🏽 We don’t need to lead like men to be effective. But we do need to stop believing the myth that doing good work will be enough. Until we shift the system, we must strategically shape how we're seen within it. So here’s my new leadership mantra: You can care deeply and lead fiercely. You can be emotional and effective. And power isn’t a dirty word, when it’s used to lift others up. What label have you been given that you’re ready to flip? #Leadership #WomenInLeadership #WorkplacePolitics #RealTalk #ExecutivePresence #RewriteTheRules

How to (female) Diplomat: Navigating Male-Dominated Spaces (Without Losing Your Dignity, Self Respect and Authenticity) A very senior ambassador once threw a top secret briefing on the ground in front of me—fully expecting I’d pick it up. A calculated power move, dressed up as carelessness. I let it lie there. After all, his arms weren’t broken. Instead, I met his eyes and said, “I think you dropped something, Ambassador.” Then waited. Silence. Eventually, he bent down and picked it up. I realised something that day: Some people test you just to see if they can. And if you play along, they’ll keep pushing the boundary. I’ve spent years being the only woman in the room – whether in the army or diplomacy. Sometimes the youngest, too. And often, the only one not trying to prove I belonged by mimicking the men around me. Because here’s the real power move: 𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. Trying to blend in might feel like the safest option, but in diplomacy or business, it’s your differences that make you effective. So, if you find yourself in a room where the rules weren’t written with you in mind, try this: 1️⃣ 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 Ever notice how some men tend to take up space—physically, vocally, and in decision-making? Don’t shrink. Take the seat at the table. Speak first if you have something valuable to say. → 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘃𝗼𝗹𝘂𝗺𝗲; 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 2️⃣ 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲 I once watched a male colleague dismiss a female diplomat’s input in a negotiation—only for him to miraculously propose the same idea 15 minutes later. Instead of calling it out directly, she let him own it and subtly reinforced the idea so it stuck. The win mattered more than the credit. Every single person in that room knew where the credit lay. → 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗴𝗼. 3️⃣ 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 Not everyone in the room wants to see you succeed. But some do. Spot the quiet power brokers—the ones who influence decisions without being the loudest. → 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀. Some of your best allies might be men. 4️⃣ 𝗙𝗹𝗶𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁 𝗼𝗻 “𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆” Ever been told you’re too direct? Or not assertive enough? Too friendly. Or not friendly enough. The double bind is real. But instead of playing an impossible game, reframe it: →𝗗𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝗲? 𝗗𝗼 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳? If the answer is yes, likeability is a bonus, not the goal. 5️⃣ 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀—𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 Whether it’s a demeaning “joke,” being interrupted, a door deliberately slammed in your face—set the boundary. Then hold it. Because the moment you don’t, they’ll push it further. 💡 You don’t need to be louder, tougher, or “one of the guys.” You just need to be strategic about how you show up. What’s worked for you in male-dominated spaces? Let’s share the playbook. 👇

Yesterday I led a workshop for women in private equity, and one theme kept surfacing: self-advocacy feels impossible when you’re already fighting to belong. It's the paradox these women face every day. They need to speak up more to get noticed, but when they do, they risk being labeled “aggressive.” They need to promote their wins, but they’ve been socialized to let their work speak for itself. They need to build relationships and visibility, but the informal networks often happen in spaces where they’re not invited. Nevertheless, self-advocacy isn’t optional, especially for women working in male-dominated industries. Research shows that women’s contributions are systematically attributed to others, that our ideas need to be repeated by men to be heard, and that our expertise is questioned more frequently than our male colleagues’. Self-advocacy isn’t about being pushy or aggressive. It’s about being intentional with your voice and strategic about your visibility. Here are four concrete ways to advocate for yourself starting today: 1. Master the “credit redirect” When someone repeats your idea, immediately respond with: “Thanks, John. I’m glad you’re building on the solution I proposed earlier. Let me expand on that framework…” This reclaims YOUR ownership while maintaining professionalism. 2. Document your wins in real-time Keep a “victory log” on your phone. After every meeting where you contribute, jot down what you said and any positive responses. Reference these specifics in performance reviews and promotion conversations. 3. Practice strategic amplification Find one trusted colleague who will amplify your contributions in meetings. Agree to do the same for them. When they share an idea, respond with: “Sarah’s point about the data analysis is exactly right, and it connects to…” This mutual support system works. 4. Lose the “self-shrinking” language.  Stop saying “I’m sorry to bother you.” Stop saying “Maybe we could…” Stop saying “I’m wondering if…” Stop saying “I’ll make it quick.” Take up space. Make your mark. Trust that you and your ideas are worthy of other people’s time, energy, and attention (and most certainly your own as well.) The reality is that in many industries, we’re still fighting to be heard. But we don’t have to fight alone, and we don’t have to wait for permission to advocate for ourselves. Your ideas deserve to be heard and you deserve credit for the value you bring. What’s one way you’ve learned to advocate for yourself at work? The women in yesterday’s workshop had some brilliant strategies to share too. #womenleaders #privateequity #womeninmaledominatedindustries

𝟲 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗙𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗠𝗮𝗹𝗲-𝗗𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗜𝗻𝗱𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘆 🌹 A recent news report discussing invisible barriers for women entering AI roles took me back to my own journey as the first woman hire in an all-men tech startup. The challenges were real, but so were the opportunities to break through. Here are what helped me show up intentionally then: 1️⃣ 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 Walking into a room where you're the only woman can be intimidating. Instead of focusing on the differences, I found it helpful to see myself as adding value as a bridge, bringing diversity of thought and perspective to the team. I served as a bridge between clients and our product team, conveying valuable user-centred insights to inform our product development and UI/UX design. I also helped my customer success colleagues communicate needs and specifications to our engineers concisely. 2️⃣ 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗲 In male-dominated spaces, it's easy to feel like you need to prove yourself repeatedly. I learnt to claim my seat at the table confidently by preparing well for meetings, speaking up concisely, backing my arguments with logic and data, disagreeing by asking great questions, and consistently delivering results. Over time, this built trust and credibility. Most importantly, I earned respect. 3️⃣ 𝗕𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗟𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 It's also easy to feel pressured to conform to masculine behaviour or approach. However, instead of dimming our unique qualities to fit in, be authentic, humble, vulnerable, and unapologetically ourselves. When we lead with our own style, we inspire others to embrace diversity and create space for different voices, including our own, to shine. 4️⃣ 𝗙𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗜𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝘆 I also encouraged my male colleagues to step into my world. Simple actions like sharing my life outside of work opened doors to mutual understanding and empathy. 5️⃣ 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 Allies—male or female—can be instrumental in your journey. Crucially, I sought out strategic male allies among colleagues whom I knew I could rely on to offer guidance, come to my defence, and amplify my voice. 6️⃣ 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗯 Representation matters. As I progressed in my career, I made it a priority to bring other women into the company and mentor them. Seeing their growth was one of the most rewarding parts of my career. Representation and inclusion aren’t just good for individuals, they’re critical for the future of tech and innovation. If you are a woman contemplating a leap into tech—or any male-dominated field, know that you bring something unique to the table, and lean into it. 💪 🔥 #womenintech #womenleaders #diversity #inclusivity #DEI 🔃 I am passionate about shifting mindsets and changing narratives. Repost this if it resonates with you or to encourage women colleagues around you.

"These 50-year-old Wall Street sales guys will never listen to a woman half their age." 👆 That’s what people said when I was leading a sales transformation at Morgan Stanley. And they were right. Most of my team didn’t want to change. 🔒 I was a woman in my 20s working with seasoned veterans who: A) Had built successful careers doing things their way B) Didn’t see me as a “leader” So instead, I focused on building relationships through informal chats. 💡 > We talked about my mandate > Not to step on their toes but to support them Turns out, they weren’t just resisting change. They were worried about losing their roles, looking incompetent, and adapting to the new system. I knew pushing wouldn’t work, so I started partnering with them. 🤝 - Joined their client calls - Helped them prepare for meetings - Built custom decks to showcase their expertise And then, something happened. One of the biggest skeptics landed a $650K deal using our approach. He started advocating for the change. The rest of the team followed. ✅ $20M in new business ✅ Stronger client relationships ✅ A team that embraced the future instead of fearing it For any woman leading in a male-dominated space, here’s what I learned: 1) Don’t fight for control. Bring insights and results that make you indispensable. 2) Fear of the unknown holds people back. Give them clarity, and they'll follow. 3) Credibility isn’t about age, it’s about trust. Listen first, understand their concerns, and speak their language. When people feel heard, they’re more willing to hear you. Found this helpful? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.