Why intentions don't create reputation

Most leaders think they know themselves. But ask their teams and you'll get to see a very different picture. I've worked with leaders who proudly called themselves approachable, empowering, or decisive. Yet when I spoke with their teams, the words were distant, controlling, impulsive. This isn't hypocrisy. It's the identity–reputation gap. Identity is who you believe you are. Reputation is how others experience you in daily micro-moments: ⤷ The tone of a tense email ⤷ An interruption in a meeting ⤷ A delayed decision that leaves people hanging When intent and impact don’t align, trust erodes quietly until credibility breaks. This is where Assessment & Development Centers (ADCs) act as a mirror. They recreate high-pressure scenarios and map intent against impact. 👉 This helps a leader who thinks they're collaborative realize their team reads them as dismissive.  👉 A detail-oriented manager may realize they’re viewed as a bottleneck. At myDayOne, we turn these insights into readiness journeys and feedback loops, so leaders can practice new behaviors until identity and reputation align.   Because leadership credibility isn’t what you say you are. It’s what others consistently experience. PS: Do you think most leaders are aware of their blind spots?

Leadership isn’t built on intention. It’s built on perception. That’s the foundation of what I call Reputational Economics, the invisible system that governs how leaders earn (or lose) credibility in the eyes of others. If coaching is meant to help leaders grow, then it must operate according to these laws because they explain how leadership actually works in the real world. Here are four of them: 1. Reputational Identity: You are who others experience you to be. 2. Asymmetric Attribution: People overemphasize what you fail to do and forget what you did right unless you make progress visible. Absence is louder than effort. 3. Social Proof: Change that isn’t seen is indistinguishable from no change at all. Growth doesn’t count until someone else reports it. 4. Earned Trust: Credibility is deposited or withdrawn with every interaction. Withdrawals (negative behaviors) outweigh deposits (positive ones) by at least 3 to 5 times. If these are the laws, then the Cycle of Visible Change is how great coaches work within them. It’s simple, practical, and works every time it’s applied faithfully: Ask: Invite stakeholders to share what the leader can do better and what they’ll notice when improvement happens. Listen and Thank: Receive feedback without defensiveness. Thank them for the gift. Think and Respond: Create an action plan and share it publicly to invite accountability. Change and Follow Up: Do the work. Then ask monthly what others have noticed. This cycle works 100% of the time because reputation isn’t shaped by what we intend, it’s shaped by what others observe, repeatedly. If leadership credibility is a form of currency, how often are you making visible deposits into the accounts of those you lead?

𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗙𝘂𝗲𝗹 — 𝗙𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 How often do we hear these lines at work? “𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺…” “𝘔𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦…” “𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳…” Good intentions are important, but they don’t guarantee good outcomes. And yet, when faced with feedback or conflict, many of us instinctively rush to defend our intentions rather than reflect on the impact. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺e 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀: A manager praises one team member publicly, hoping to inspire others, but without specifics, others feel overlooked. Instead of acknowledging this, the manager insists, “𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦.” A team member keeps reworking a colleague’s deliverable at night “to ensure quality.” The colleague feels undermined. When confronted, the reply is, “𝘐 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱.” A leader gives “frank” feedback in a meeting, thinking they’re being transparent. The recipient feels humiliated. Rather than noticing the hurt, the leader says, “𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭.” Sounds familiar? Here’s the truth: When you justify your intentions, you shut the door to learning. When you examine your impact, you open the door to growth. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱? 1) Pause your defence — listen fully. 2) Ask, “How did my words or actions land?” 3) Acknowledge the unintended impact. 4) Course correct — intention matters, but impact is reality. 𝗙𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁: 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘃𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁? The mark of a mature professional is the courage to own the gap between the two. #ImpactOverIntention #FridayFuel #FoodForThought #SelfReflection

Reflecting on my journey as a CEO, I've learned a valuable lesson: relying solely on my intentions to justify my actions created friction in my relationships with my team. A common scenario was when I'd overstep into someone else's project, thinking, “I want to help, so I’ll get involved in Sue’s project.” 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗦𝘂𝗲'𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽, 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗱. 𝗜𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆, 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸, 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝘆 “𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱” 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀. However, Sue's courage in pointing out that I was justifying my actions rather than listening to her was eye-opening. This isn't unique to me; many leaders face similar challenges where intentions don't match the impact. Teams often perceive CEOs as overreaching and resistant to acknowledging the negative effects of their involvement. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗰: • Actions Over Intentions: People judge us by our actions, not intentions, leading to misunderstandings and eroding trust. • Encourage Open Feedback: Dismissing feedback with excuses blinds us to areas needing improvement.      Instead, shift from asking, “Is this feedback true?” to “How might this feedback be true?” This change can transform leadership by reducing ego involvement and fostering genuine listening. By letting go of the need to be right and appreciating feedback, leaders can build trust and improve team dynamics. I invite you to DM me to explore this further.

Well Meant is Not Always Well Done Here is Why 👇 "A good intention, with a bad approach, often leads to a poor result." – Thomas A. Edison In our quest for excellence, we often operate with the best intentions. We strive to support, lead, and connect, rarely reflecting whether our perspective is enough. Yet, even the most well-meaning actions can fall short if they're not aligned with the real needs of those we aim to help. 📌 The Problem: ❌ Self-Centered Good Intentions ❌ We naturally start from our own perspective, assuming that what we find beneficial or supportive will automatically translate to others. ❌ This assumption can be misleading for us and might create more challenges than solutions. Here are 6 important situations where well-meant isn't always well done: ❗ Decision-Making Without Input: 👉 Making decisions on behalf of others based solely on your perspective can result in resistance or disengagement. ❗ Generic Praise: 👉 Offering praise without specificity can feel insincere and may not resonate with the individual's efforts or achievements. ❗ One-Size-Fits-All Solutions: 👉 Implementing standard solutions without considering unique circumstances can miss the mark entirely. ❗ Assumed Delegation: 👉 Delegating tasks without considering the team’s current workload or interest can lead to burnout or frustration. ❗ Public Recognition Preference: 👉 Publicly acknowledging someone who prefers private affirmations can lead to discomfort rather than motivation. ❗ Technology Implementation: 👉 Introducing new tools or technology without assessing the team’s readiness or needs can create more disruption than efficiency. 💠 Lessons to Learn: ✔ Aligning Intentions with Needs! 1️⃣ Involve People: 👉 Engage those affected by your decisions. Their insights and perspectives can guide you toward actions that truly add value. 2️⃣ Ask and Listen: 👉 Take the time to ask questions and listen actively to understand what each individual needs and wants. 3️⃣ Check Relevance: 👉 Regularly assess whether your approach is still relevant and beneficial. Needs and circumstances evolve, and so should your strategies. 4️⃣ Cultivate Empathy: 👉 Strive to see situations from others' perspectives. Empathy can help bridge the gap between intentions and the actual impact of your actions. By making these adjustments, we ensure that our actions are not just motivated by good intentions but also have a meaningful impact. We must commit to listening, asking, and evolving to better serve those around us!  --- 🔔 Enjoy my posts? Follow me Eva Gysling, OLY #leadership #culture #coaching