Building Authenticity in Executive Presence

Careers don't stall from a lack of talent. They stall from misused transparency. We've been programmed to: "Just be yourself." "Bring your whole self to work." "Use Authenticity as your edge." But that advice for high-achieving leaders can backfire faster than slamming the gas on a car stuck in mud. You see, being real isn't the problem. Being unfiltered is. I've coached brilliant executives who shared too much, too soon: ⚠️ Promotions quietly passed over ⚠️ Influence unintentionally diluted ⚠️ Credibility questioned without a word spoken Not because they weren't capable. But because they were unfiltered when they needed to be intentional. Early in my executive career, I shared a tough moment in a leadership meeting. I thought I was being honest and transparent. What I was really doing was expecting my team to hold my processing, when what they needed was my presence. A mentor later told me: "Save the story for after the storm. Lead first, reflect later." That moment changed everything. My teams became more engaged, creating other leaders who were equally if not more connected. That's Cultural Intelligence. It's not about hiding yourself to fit in. It's about honoring your role and adapting. Here's how to practice strategic authenticity: 1/ Check the intention: Is this to connect, or to offload? 2/ Lead first, share later: Save the behind-the-scenes until the team is steady 3/ Read the room: Every layer of you isn't for every audience 4/ Protect your edge: Emotions are valid, but timing makes them powerful 5/ Stay human, but hold the helm: Don't confuse access with leadership Because executive presence isn't about being polished. It's about being purposefully impactful. The real flex? Knowing what to say, when to say it, and who's earned the right to hear it. That's not faking it. That's leading with strength, not spilling for approval. 💬 Drop "STRATEGIC" in the comments if you're learning to lead with intentional authenticity. ♻️ Tag a leader who shows up real, and wise. DM me 'EDGE' for The Authenticity Paradox: How Not to Self-Sabotage as a High-Achieving Leader. #StrategicAuthenticity #ExecutivePresence #LeadershipEdge

I wish I had figured this out sooner: Executive presence isn’t something you perform. It’s something you build from the inside out. And no, you don’t need to: Plan every word Master 101 power phrases Or mute your personality to fit into someone else’s idea of a “leader” You need to start from your strengths. And learn how to communicate them with clarity and confidence. I know this because I did the opposite. I thought I had to show up like a tough b*tch. The kind of leader people wouldn’t question. But that was never me. And trying to be her just made me miserable. I spent all my energy pretending and had nothing left to actually lead with. Eventually, I hit a wall. Literal rock bottom. Me, lying on the floor thinking: If this is what leadership requires, I don’t want it. So I started over. Not with another costume but with the question: How do I lead like me? That one shift changed everything. Once I stopped performing And started trusting my own way of doing things Things fell into place: → Two VP roles → Teams I actually loved leading → Strong relationships with execs and peers → A high six-figure salary that didn’t cost me my sanity Was I the typical VP? Definitely not. My kind of presence didn’t work everywhere. But it was perfect for the right companies. No jargon. Jeans and sneakers. Grabbing coffee for my team when I grabbed mine. While also: Driving results Holding people accountable Moving the business forward What I finally understood was this: Executive presence isn’t fake. It’s not a persona. It’s learning how to lead as the realest version of you. And when you get it right, it doesn’t drain you it makes you better. (Side note: So many of us shrink ourselves to fit the mold. That is such a shame! It also makes no sense. I believe you can be authentically you and be a great leader. You just need to tap into your strength instead of hiding them)

Some of the worst advice out there... not only can you smell it a mile away, but it actually sets you back more than in propels you forward. “Fake It Till You Make It." The mentality might seem harmless... or even empowering. but here’s the truth: it’s a strategy that holds you back in the long run. When we rely on posturing or “faking it,” we create temporary value... a shaky foundation that breeds uncertainty and self-doubt over time. This approach can chip away at genuine confidence, leaving you second-guessing your abilities rather than embracing your true strengths. If you’re “kind of” believing in what you can do, it will lead to “kind of” results. And let’s be honest: no one invests in that. Here’s a path that builds lasting impact and real credibility: 1. Embrace Where You Are Right Now. Actionable Step: List out the top 3 strengths you bring to the table today. Focus on where you already add value. Use this clarity as your guide when you’re in new or challenging situations. This way, you’re building on a solid, authentic foundation... not pretending to be somewhere you’re not. Starting with a clear view of your strengths gives you a confidence rooted in reality... and equips you to approach each opportunity with authenticity. 2. Get Clear on Your Unique Value. Actionable Step: Identify one specific problem you can solve that aligns with your skills and expertise. Write it down in one sentence (e.g., “I help teams bridge strategy and execution gaps to drive measurable results.”). Use this as a go-to when you’re speaking with potential clients or partners. This clarity around your value will set you apart, making it easier for others to see why they should work with you... not just anyone who fits the role. 3. Bridge Your Gaps Authentically. Actionable Step: Acknowledge a skill or area you’re actively developing. Take one concrete action toward growth each week... whether that’s: - reading - building relationships - mentoring Share this journey with trusted colleagues or clients... without underselling yourself... so they experience your commitment to excellence and your drive to evolve. Owning both your strengths and areas for growth builds long-term credibility and shows others that you’re committed to being the best version of yourself. It’s how true leaders inspire and foster trust. And trust accelerates EVERYTHING.

This week, amidst the hustle of NYC and staying in a top-floor Airbnb, I observed my two-year-old granddaughter adapting to our new environment by walking softly to respect our downstairs neighbors. This small act of consideration led me to reflect on how the principles of executive presence—traditionally associated with authority—also encompass moving through our professional world with intention and grace. Executive presence is often seen as crucial for leadership success, especially for women. The idea of executive presence frequently emerges as a fundamental element for career advancement. It represents a blend of touch, tone, character, and class—key components that collectively define how we influence and lead others with authenticity and effectiveness. Inspired by Aldous Huxley's notion of approaching life "lightly," I see a valuable parallel in professional settings. Like my granddaughter's careful steps, sometimes our impact is greatest when we approach situations with gentleness and thoughtfulness. A softer approach in leadership doesn't mean being less effective. Instead, it's about knowing when to dial back, to speak with wisdom rather than volume, and to guide rather than push. This approach fosters empathy, active listening, and creates an environment where everyone feels seen and valued—key aspects of a strong executive presence. Applying a "light touch" to our leadership and interactions can lead to more authentic and meaningful connections. Here are three practical ways to incorporate this philosophy: 1️⃣ Engage in Active Listening: Truly listening—beyond just hearing—shows respect and empathy. It involves full attention, open-ended questions, and echoing what the other person has said to ensure understanding. This kind of engagement enhances relationships and leadership impact. 2️⃣ Show Vulnerability: Authentic leadership includes the courage to show vulnerability. This isn't about unprofessionalism but being open about not having all the answers and showing real emotion. Vulnerability fosters trust, encourages a culture of openness, and invites collaboration. 3️⃣ Choose Mindful Responses: Facing high-pressure situations or difficult conversations, take a moment to respond with consideration rather than reacting hastily. This thoughtful approach can improve outcomes and strengthen relationships. Incorporating these strategies can not only refine your executive presence but inspire others with your leadership style. Walking lightly—with purpose and sensitivity—shows that sometimes the quietest steps leave the most significant impact. #Women’sHistoryMonth #Leadership #1MillionWomenBy2030 

A senior executive once told me, “I don’t do fake coddling—I’m authentic.” This was after an executive team meeting where he publicly tore into someone’s idea with: “This is just lazy thinking as usual. Did you even prepare?” The room fell silent. The person laughed it off, but you could see it landed hard. This executive wore his unfiltered bluntness like a leadership badge of honor and equated it with desirable “authenticity”. And those around him usually felt intimidated and uncomfortable speaking up as a result. Here’s what I’ve learned after working with hundreds of execs: There’s a big difference between being authentic and being unfiltered. One builds trust—the other breaks it. Authenticity isn’t about saying everything we feel. It’s about showing up intentionally and being aware of our impact. It is about being real, but not without genuine connection and care for others. If you’re using “authenticity” as a way to justify careless words, it’s not authenticity. It’s ego with a microphone.

The $500K Identity Tax I Paid Before Learning This Truth: Success has a cruel sense of irony. I climbed my way to the C-suite by mastering the art of adaptation: saying the right things, playing by the rules, fitting the mold of what a leader should look like. And for a while, it worked. Until I realized I was hemorrhaging opportunities, influence, and real impact—all because I was too busy performing leadership instead of owning it. That’s when I uncovered a hidden cost that many high-achievers unknowingly pay: 💰 The Identity Tax 💰 Every compromised decision. Every forced “yes.” Every disagreement I swallowed instead of voicing. It all added up to a staggering price, one that nearly cost me my ability to lead effectively. It took losing a game-changing deal to finally wake me up. I was so focused on meeting expectations that I forgot the golden rule of leadership: True influence isn’t built on fitting in. It’s built on having the courage to stand out. The moment I stopped chasing approval and started showing up as my unfiltered, values-driven self, everything changed: ✅ My team's trust skyrocketed, because people follow real leaders, not rehearsed personas. ✅ Innovation flourished, because when leaders embrace authenticity, their teams feel safe to do the same. ✅ Decision-making became effortless, no more second-guessing, just alignment with my core principles. ✅ Deals closed faster, because confidence and credibility come naturally when you’re unapologetically yourself. Now, I help other executives break free from this costly trap—before it robs them of their influence, fulfillment, and financial success. 👉 Are you unknowingly paying an Identity Tax in your leadership? Let’s talk about how to turn your authenticity into your greatest competitive advantage. #leadership #executivepresence #authenticity

So you're not getting promoted because you don't have enough "executive presence"... Unfortunately, you're either getting no advice or you're getting told to "fake it till you make it" Fake it till you make is bad advice when it comes to developing executive presence. Here's what I wish someone told me instead: First of all, what even is executive presence? To me, it's carrying yourself in a way that inspires confidence in others. You know what doesn't inspire confidence? Faking it. People can tell. What I wish someone told me instead: First, you need to go find lots of examples of people that have executive presence Then, you need to identify one common trait between them that ALSO feels authentic to you and your personality This trait is what you're going to base your unique flavor of executive presence on The trick is to keep looking for "unconventional" examples of executive presence until you find a few that really resonate with you. Here's some places you can look... -Business leaders in your company -Business leaders in other companies -Leaders in your community -Athletic coaches -People who give great Ted Talks -Entertainers -Basically anyone who gives a compelling monologue in a movie or TV show I started (unconsciously) doing this around 2018 The problem I was trying to solve for at the time: The most obvious examples I could see of executive presence were built on bravado And that felt SO unlike me. I just couldn't fake it. Eventually, I identified a trait that would work for me: Sincerity When I deliver an important message, I focus on being very sincere. It almost always makes the message more impactful, and I never feel like a fraud when I do it. For me, sincerity is the key to my unique brand of executive presence. I hope this post inspires you to go find the key to yours. #leadership