Taboo topics leaders need to stop avoiding (and how to talk about them in a respectful way)

Let’s face it: We are wired to avoid uncomfortable, awkward conversations.

Whether it’s politics, mental health, race, money, religion, or even grief, we’ve been taught that there are certain things you just don’t talk about, especially at work. These are the so-called taboo topics, and while it may feel safer to steer clear, avoiding these conversations can actually be a liability for leaders, teams, and organizations.

But before we challenge them, it’s important to understand them. We need to understand why some subjects are considered off-limits, what happens when we ignore them, and how thoughtful leaders can start breaking through taboos in a responsible and respectful way. Read on to learn:

• What makes a topic taboo?
• The real costs of avoiding taboo topics
• A 5 point checklist for how to talk about taboo topics
• Prompts for what to say - in the real world!

What makes a topic taboo?

Taboo topics are the things we avoid because they make us feel vulnerable, uncomfortable, or afraid of saying the wrong thing. They're often emotionally charged or culturally sensitive, and they can carry deeply personal meanings.

For a topic to be taboo, it usually needs to be at least one of the following:

1. Rarely talked about.
2. May cause discomfort or be offensive.
3. Instills a fear of being judged

The result? Silence.

Certainly, some taboo topics should be avoided at work. Think sex, abortion, gun-ownership, even personal finances.

But while silence might feel “safe,” some taboo topics deserve our attention and discussion. Think mental and physical health!

Avoiding all uncomfortable, taboo topics at work can signal something more dangerous: avoidance, assumptions, and missed opportunities for real connection. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess those aren’t the leadership qualities you’re aiming to cultivate 😆

The cost of avoiding taboo topics

Let’s be clear: Talking about taboo topics isn’t about being provocative or pushing personal agendas. It’s about creating a space where people feel seen, heard, and respected, especially around the issues that impact them most.

When leaders sidestep important but sensitive conversations, it sends a message (intentional or not) that those experiences don’t matter. It can create a culture of uncertainty, distrust, and even fear.

In contrast, leaders who are willing to “go there” can unlock:

• Psychological safety, where team members feel secure enough to speak up.
• Stronger relationships, built on empathy and understanding.
• More inclusive workplaces, where people from all backgrounds feel like they belong.
• Better decision-making, informed by diverse perspectives and honest input.

Think about it: Would you rather be the leader who pretends not to notice when something’s wrong, or the leader who has the courage to address it, even when it’s awkward?

A 5-point checklist for how to talk about taboo topics 

Can we make the uncomfortable comfortable? You know I love a challenge when it comes to communication! 

I developed practical strategies for approaching taboo topics with empathy, curiosity, and courage. Whether you’re a leader speaking to your direct reports, or engaging with colleagues, these five strategies are simple to follow, but powerful in their impact.

1. Start by leading by example

As a leader, your behaviour sets the tone. When you model vulnerability and respect, others feel safer to do the same.

2. Choose your words wisely

Language matters. Use inclusive, respectful, and precise language. Avoid labels or assumptions. When in doubt, ask how someone prefers to be identified or spoken to.

3. Be mindful of your tone

More than words, your tone can imbue so much meaning, especially around sensitive topics. Keep your tone calm, warm, and open. Avoid sarcasm, defensiveness, or condescension.

4. Practice active listening

Your goal isn’t to prove a point, it’s to understand. Listen without interrupting. Repeat back what you hear to confirm. Use phrases like “I appreciate you sharing that,” or “That must have been difficult.”

5. Acknowledge the discomfort

Name the elephant in the room! Try, “Yes, this is an uncomfortable topic, but I think it’s important we talk about it.”

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be willing to ask thoughtful questions, listen with empathy, and keep the conversation going.

What to say - in the real world

Here are a few examples of taboo topics that often come up in the workplace, and how leaders can navigate them respectfully.

Mental Health  

Instead of tiptoeing around burnout, normalize check-ins and time off. Say: “I’ve been feeling stretched lately. I give my metal health a ⅖. How about you?”

Money

Rather than avoiding the topic of salaries, advocate for transparency and fairness. Say: “Let’s make sure we’re compensating equitably across the board.”

Grief

If a colleague experiences loss, don’t ignore it. Say: “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here if you want to talk, or if you just need space.”

Race & Identity

Be willing to listen when team members share their experiences. Say: “I appreciate you trusting me with that. What would support look like for you right now?”

Aim for progress over perfection

You don’t have to become a master of every taboo topic overnight. You just have to be willing to start. Communication is a skill. We can all get better with practice.

The workplace is changing. Today’s employees expect more from their leaders: more empathy, more humanity, more real talk. And the best leaders rise to the challenge not by avoiding tough conversations, but by leaning into them.

So the next time you feel the urge to stay silent, ask yourself: What might happen if I speak up with care and curiosity instead?

Talk soon,

Andrea

P.S. Another challenging topic to talk about? Your personal “weaknesses.” I’ve shared my strategies for reframing weaknesses as an asset, and if you’re on the job hunt right now, they’re especially helpful. Check it out, and subscribe to the Talk About Talk newsletter while you’re at it, for weekly communication advice to boost your confidence, and credibility.

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Dr. Andrea Wojnicki is a Harvard-educated executive communication coach. She founded "Talk About Talk" to help ambitious executives communicate with confidence and credibility by focusing on topics such as personal branding, overcoming imposter syndrome, demonstrating leadership, and formal presentation skills. Andrea provides 1:1 coaching, workshops, keynote speeches, and online courses. She also shares her thought leadership as a columnist at Inc. magazine and she hosts the Talk About Talk podcast, with over 180 episodes and counting.