The Next Chapter

Ninety-eight days ago today, I finished writing the first issue of this newsletter. I remember putting the text into LinkedIn, along with an image, and getting it ready to post. I then paused. And thought. And paused some more. I don’t remember exactly how much time passed between when the newsletter was ready to be published and when I clicked on the button to post it. I do, however, remember what I did during that time:

• I doubted myself.
• I wondered whether anyone would read this newsletter.
• I wondered, if people read it, would they appreciate it or would I just look pathetic?

All of those thoughts were included in the pause, but most important was the cause of the hesitation that stemmed from my belief that writing and publishing this newsletter as myself (and not under a pseudonym) felt antithetical to my identity. Ninety-eight days ago, I did not see myself as someone who poked the bear, as someone who publicly shared difficulties. I tended to play it safe when it came to how I presented myself to the world.

After a fairly long pause, I hit the button and published the newsletter. I was touched and excited by the responses to that initial issue and to subsequent issues. And, I’ve never looked back, in terms of wondering whether to publish a new issue or to post about losing my job.

Ninety-eight days is not a long time.  There are many things that take much longer than ninety-eight days; however, it’s amazing what impactful things can happen in ninety-eight days. For example:

• You can complete a semester of college;
• You could have competed on Survivor – twice (Jeff Probst, if you are reading this, I’m available for the next season);
• About 30 trillion of your cells would have been replaced in that timeframe - “the equivalent of a new you” (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/our-bodies-replace-billions-of-cells-every-day/);
• If there was a zombie attack, the human population would basically be wiped out in that time, making it unlikely you’d be reading this (https://www.livescience.com/57407-zombie-apocalypse-would-take-100-days.html).

I, for one, am very relieved that I am here writing this issue, that you are here reading this, and that in the time from when I launched this newsletter to the time I’m posting Issue 8, we are still here and have not been devasted by a zombie attack. Actually, this fun fact puts things in perspective. Sure, I lost my job and have struggled in many ways, but I have not become a zombie. That’s something. So, to all of you non-zombies reading this, consider yourself lucky. Things could be worse.

Zombie attacks aside, I have found that I have spent the past ninety-eight days moving towards rather than running away from things. I had an interim role during this time at a wonderful institution, which provided a much-needed distraction from becoming a Reluctant Free Agent. I have connected with a number of people related to this newsletter; a small group of other Reluctant Free Agents and I meet virtually every other week to support each other (note: if you are a RFA and are looking for this type of group, please message me).  These experiences have brought me moments of joy at a difficult time.

As I write this issue, I have the summer ahead of me with no concrete plans or job in place.  I have been contemplating what to do next and I hope to do some writing (perhaps write a book related to all of this – if I do, you all know I’ll be posting about it here) and I am considering reconnecting to my background/training as a psychologist and doing some short-term work. I will also be considering what’s next on my dance card. Specifically, I need to come up with a plan for the start of the fall.

In the meantime, as I ponder my next steps, it is natural that I consider what’s next for this newsletter. I’m sure those of you who have been reading this from the beginning remember vividly that, in the first newsletter, I speculated I would probably write 6-8 issues. I know you remember this, because after reading and re-reading each issue at least three times (ha!), you have it all memorized. And, good for you! Anyways, somehow, I knew back then that there was a limit to newsletter-worthy content specific to my experience. I’m sure I could continue to write about myself and my journey and there may be a future issue where I do just that. But, it’s time for a new chapter.

Beginning with the next issue of this newsletter, I am starting a new chapter. I intend to take time and space to focus on other Reluctant Free Agents. I’m not alone in this situation and my voice is just one person’s experience – a single perspective. I want to share the voice of others.

Here’s what I’m thinking:

• I will have an informal and unscripted virtual conversation with another RFA. I will ask them to share their story and we will talk about how they are doing, what their experience has been like, etc. 
• This will be unedited, basically because I’m not good at video editing. And even if I were, I’m not sure that’s the vibe I want. In reality, none of us is perfect. That means I’m going to be unedited too, so I may end up blowing my nose on video or saying something awkward. That’s just part of being human. RFAs are real people. Thankfully, we aren’t zombies (actually, I don’t think zombies can talk, so it wouldn’t make for good video, anyways - it would be pretty dull).
• I will publish a newsletter edition as a preview, with a brief introduction about the person being interviewed and about our conversation. I will include a link to the video for people to view.
• People will comment in very positive ways about the RFA who is being featured.
• People will also hopefully connect, in some way, to that person’s experience.

I’m excited about this next chapter of The Reluctant Free Agent newsletter. If you are a RFA and want to be featured in a future issue, please message me.

If you are intrigued by this concept, then you definitely have to check out Issue 9 in two weeks. I’m counting on you.

l