Networking as an Introvert

An Interview with Keith Bogen, SPHR SHRM-SCP , Chief Networking Officer, Whine & Dine Networking .

Interview Conducted by Relevante Teammates: William Brassington , Chelsea Broody , Lee Ann Davidovich & Thejas Prasanna .

Introduction - Turning ‘Networking’ Into Natural Connection:

Most introverts don’t dislike people - they dislike pressure. Keith Bogen, Chief Networking Officer of Whine & Dine Networking, has spent years building a radically human model for professional connection: curated, small-group gatherings across the United States, with an especially strong Human Resources community.

“People think networking is something they do when they need something, but it is really something you should do when you breathe. Networking happens during all human interactions. Look at the middle four letters of the word… if it is WORK, you’re doing it all wrong. It should be fun!" - Keith Bogen

This interview distills Keith’s best practices for introverts: how to prep without dread, how to carry yourself in the room, how to follow up without awkwardness and how HR can make their own events dramatically more welcoming for quieter colleagues.

Before the Event: Mindset, Micro-Goals, and Easy Wins

Reframe the Purpose: “Before an event, if you don’t know anyone there, reach out to the organizer by email or hone and introduce yourself. That way, you will know someone when you arrive!”

“Always make the purpose of networking to help others, even if you need something yourself. That takes the pressure off what you’re doing. It is amazingly rewarding to help others! Think ‘help others’ don’t think ‘I have to pitch’ and let karma do the rest!” - Keith Bogen

Anchor questions to bring:

• Tell me about you?
• How can I help you?
• What connections can I make for you?

To-Dos of Meeting Others and After Meeting

• Connection goal: Talk to some new people for a few minutes each.
• Follow-up goal: Always follow up connections through LinkedIn with messages briefly summarizing where you met and how much you enjoyed meeting that person.

“Initial conversations when you meet someone are light and not usually intense on work related topics. Getting to know them personally is the goal. If the chemistry is there, you will be interested in continuing the conversation one-on-one a few days or a week later that’s where the opportunity to help each other happens!” - Keith Bogen

Light Research = Heavy Confidence

• If available, scan the attendee list. Looking at the group or host’s recent posts is important.
• Prepare one sentence about yourself that you can share in 15-20 seconds that brands you to what you do professionally. (For example… ‘I am a Human Resources Business Partner that specializes in Employee Engagement and Global Communications.’). Most of the conversation should be focused on and about the other person.

Pack an Introvert Toolkit

• Create your own name tag instead of handwriting a tag that says, ‘my name is…’. Make that name tag part of your brand that reads like a headline (Name | Role | Value).
• Provide a conversation spark (lapel pin, colourful socks, a notebook).
• Be enthusiastic in thanking each person for the conversation.
• If bringing a friend to the event helps make it easier to attend, make sure you don’t spend the event talking to that person.

“Bring a friend if that gets you in the door but remember - ‘never dance with the one you brought’ meaning you’re there to meet new people, so don’t spend much time with your friend." - Keith Bogen

Arrival & First Five Minutes: Enter Without Anxiety

The Doorway Reset :

• Pause, breathe, scan the room in zones (left, center, right) and put on your nametag
• Smile gently, shoulders open, phone put away.
• Walk to the host first and thank them for the pre-event conversation. If they don’t start introducing you to people, ask them to introduce you to a new person.

“Say hello to the organizer and openly thank them for helping you get over the jitters of a new room. Ask who you should meet next - hosts love to make introductions.” - Keith Bogen

In the Room: Scripts, Energy Management and Exit Lines

Talk Less, Land Better

Ask one question, listen for 30–60 seconds. Reflect one detail (‘Sounds like you’re rebuilding hiring manager training’) and offer one help (‘I can intro you to someone who rebuilt theirs after a merger’).

“Listening is so much more important than talking!” - Keith Bogen

Manage Your Energy in Real Time

• Speak to two people, then reset (water, notes in your phone) before talking to others.
• Take micro‑breaks: step to the agenda board or say hi to the host.

“Introverts don’t need to become extroverts, but they do need to protect their energy.” - Keith Bogen

Graceful Exit Lines (Zero Awkwardness)

• I promised myself I’d meet two more people before I go can we continue on LinkedIn?
• This was super helpful. Can I continue our conversation tomorrow or next week?
• I’m going to introduce you to someone who’s tackling the same thing.

Pro move: turn an exit into value by introducing them to a relevant person nearby.

After the Event: Follow‑Up That Doesn’t Feel Forced

The 24‑Hour Two‑Line Message

• Great meeting you at Whine & Dine in [City]. Loved your take on [topic].
• Do you have 15 minutes next week to chat some more? I can share our checklist on [relevant resource].

“Networking is not a static moment in time. It is a living, breathing entity that evolves over time. It doesn’t end with a handshake. It begins there.” - Keith Bogen

Calendar the Nudge, Then Make It Easy

• If no reply in 7 days, send: ‘Bumping this up in case it got buried no stress if now’s bad timing.’
• Offer one friction‑less next step: suggest two time windows or offer an intro to a third person.

Turn One Chat Into a Living Network

• Create a micro‑circle: email 3 - 4 people from the event about a shared theme (e.g., ‘HR ops automation’).
• Capture one action per person, then circulate notes.

“Offering to make connections for those you met is gold.” - Keith Bogen

Whine & Dine: Why the Model Works (and What It Teaches)

Small tables, real food, real time. Whine & Dine gatherings initially prioritize social over professional focus. We created this type of environment to take away all the structure and distractions of normal gatherings and allow people to just meet each other without rule, process, structure or expectations.

• Our groups are small enough to make each gathering intimate.
• People can arrive when they want without worrying about being late and leave when they want without the fear of missing anything.
• Our Networking Leaders help people, especially introverts meet other people.
• We all follow the thinking that says we end conversations ‘Who should we introduce you to?’

Field Guide: Ready‑to‑Use Checklists & Scripts

Pre‑Event Checklist (Introvert Edition)

• Don’t have pre-set expectations about what will and will not happen at events.
• Prepare one sentence about my current focus.
• Choose one conversation spark (pin/socks/notebook).
• Prepare two opener questions.
• Message the host to introduce yourself and say you’re attending.

In‑Room Starters

• What made you attend this event?
• What challenges are you solving this quarter?
• If I could introduce you to one person, who would help most?

Exit Lines

• This was great. I promised myself to meet two more folks - may I follow up tomorrow?
• You should meet [Name]. Let me introduce you!

Follow‑Up Templates

• Day 1: ‘Great to meet you at Whine & Dine. Your note on [topic] stuck with me. Chat for 15 minutes next week? I’ll share our [resource].’
• Day 7 bump: ‘Quick nudge in case this slipped - no worries if timing is rough.’
• Warm intro: ‘As promised, meet [X]. You both mentioned [theme]. I’ll let you take it from here.’

A Note on Nerves (Because Everyone Has Them)

“Even pros get butterflies. I still take a breath at the door. The trick is to move anyway and to make the first minute easy." - Keith Bogen

Closing: Be Yourself - But Go First

“Networking isn’t supposed to be difficult or feel like work. It’s supposed to be FUN! When you take away doing it to get something and focus on simply what you can do for others, it relaxes everything and makes the experience much more rewarding. Pretty soon, the people in the room will become your community.” - Keith Bogen

“You don’t have to be an extrovert. You just have to be a person who goes first.” -Keith Bogen

About the Guest: Keith Bogen, SPHR SHRM-SCP is Chief Networking Officer of Whine & Dine Networking , which hosts intimate networking events for the Human Resources community and business leaders throughout the United States and also has online forums in all 50 states and 40 countries around the world.

About This Series: This article is part of Relevante’s HR Leadership Newsletter, focused on practical ways to build humane, high‑performance cultures - onboarding to off-boarding, and every conversation in between.